Dom Toretto implies the existence of Sub Toretto

This isn't the point, but his teeth are too symmetrical. You can't trust people with too much teeth symmetry.

This is an incredible tweet.

Are they NOT in the Epstein files?

Yeah because April ends with an L

It’s his day

Seriously

Both of these people owe me something. One owes me a better future, the other owes me a mechanical pencil.

He's so Crusader minded that he probably plans on catapulting flu infected soldiers at the enemy

How you gonna have that many tattoos and still be scared of needles.

Remember, hegseth used to brag about not washing his hands

There are currently three kinds of cake in my house

I uave been on the hunt for the Darth Vader TIE fighter lefo set for years and my local used lego store had an unopened 10 year anniversary edition in stock. So, happy birthday to me.

Happy birthday to Miranda Kerr. It's a well known fact that only the most attractive people are born on this day. Except that one dude. We don't talk about him.

Huh, after tomorrow I'll be too old to enlist.

in the end, any form of potato you eat becomes mashed potato and i think that’s beautiful

The Domain.

Jokes on her, I'm a lapsed Catholic and have spent the last 25 years saying no to god.

That feeling when you run I to your old doctor in the men's room at Mammoa Mia so you make sure you wash your hands thoroughly

Don Schlitz - who churned out hit after hit -- The Gambler, Forever and Ever Amen, When You Say Nothing at All -- as songwriter, often collaborating with others-- (He co-wrote some of Mary Chapin Carpenter's hits) has died - Mercy -- that man could write a song apnews.com/article/don-...

I not advocating anything, but I bet if Dan got hit in the jaw it would sound a balloon filled with jello

I know this lady husband name not “dick tips”

I thought there would've been more ska

Dammit Leo, the DA's on my case because every time you get a confession out of a perp you offer them absolution!

My wife consistently says I look like Joe Rogan, but hotter.

WHY IS THERE A SOLITARY BLACK EYED PEA ON THE FLOOR IN THE LOCKER ROOM

THE DALAI LAMA IS WEAK ON MONETARY POLICY.

The rain is impeding my deck rebuild

Why would he get a reward for failing?

Putting the dinosaur books next the autism books is a choice. I'll admit it's convenient, but still

Titos dropped into one of the many, many local IPAs, with a garnish of Franklin's brisket

I have only had a protein shake and a cupcake today, but have currently burned over 3000 calories working on my deck. I should probably eat

sick of these catholic converts showing up and saying "well I have a different interpretation of the scripture" no you don't. that's protestantism and a heresy. don't like it there's the (incredibly beautiful and heavily ornamented with precious metals) door

We call this The Tetnus Special

guy who converted to Catholicism out of love for hierarchy and the ancient traditions of an institution that is famously in the world but not of it: ok Mr “pope” idk who the fuck you think you are but just war theory since Augustine has always allowed white phosphorous munitions

i bet one of the astronauts immediately got up, grabbed their stuff and moved to get closer the exit

when two of your friends start hooking up and the rest of you know it’ll end in disaster

There is no McTry.

Politics has unexpectedly hit a special interest of mine so here is a quick rundown on the Avignon Papacy.

In the US military, gender integration had essentially no effect on men's actual performance or retention, but men's perception of workplace quality changed: perceived quality rose in units with newly integrated female enlisted soldiers, but it fell when female officers held supervisory roles

"Luddites" is a good term for those who oppose AI because the Luddites weren't against *all* technology, just forms of technology that they knew would pay workers less and turn out a shittier product

It’s hard to overstate how much of this moment is driven by people who got a taste of accountability and were very, very mad about it.

Happy Appomattox Day to all that celebrate

That’s a Nopo, Chico

Erm, they're called palaeontologists, actually.

They've obviously never seen all the unanswered emails in my inbox

"Moon's haunted"

You just know trump is gonna have some big military mission going on during the WHCA dinner just so he can claim he beat Obama

Shawty can either have the boots with the fur or the reeboks with the strap #onabudget

Oh my gd, the Artemis II crew doing a parody of a bad 1980s sitcom intro from in space. Source: www.instagram.com/p/DWwuHPfCZ8Z/