Graham Platner mistakenly thought he was getting one of the scary skull tattoos that means something good

US citizens should have access to anything the police or military has. I’ll take my ship that does nothing but make birthday cakes.

It sucked that a small handful of Democrats with unpopular progressive ideas like “defund the police” were used by Republicans to tarnish the Democratic Party as a whole. Well now we just handed them a guy with a Nazi tattoo.

AVAM kinetic sculpture race

Most likely Platner loses to Collins by 1-2% and nobody learns anything and everyone’s priors are confirmed

Well, the thing about the collective group of idiots is that they’re all idiots for different reasons. Trying to appeal to them with anything other than demagoguery or slopulism is like herding cats.

Every focus group of Trump supporters is like “He said he would govern as a strong black woman. And honestly I’m just not seeing as much of that as I thought.”

I think if you view AI as a source of comedy then it’s been a wildly successful venture.

“We’re going to make the biggest fucking asshole on Earth the president. And then when people start crawling out of the woodwork to [redact] him we’re going to say it’s your fault because you said mean words”

I think if Kurt Cobain hadn’t died he’d be a pretty normal guy today

Don’t try to shoot anyone over it, which won’t help anything, but it remains absolutely true that Trump is an existential threat to America who should be removed from office as quickly as possible. He’s a sociopathic megalomaniac whose corruption and unfitness is unparalleled in history. Impeach

Why is the political environment so toxic? Is it because of the one single guy who dominated all political discussion for the past decade? The guy who runs his mouth 24/7 at the world’s biggest microphone insulting and blaming everyone? The guy who did an insurrection? No, it must be the liberals.

Going down to the pool on a hot day with a case of double imperial oatmeal raspberry stouts

Jumping is miserable in games like Elden Ring because you can’t see hitboxes of the terrain. Often it looks like you’re on solid ground but you’re technically “in the air” because the hitbox dropped off and the jump button doesn’t work, which is why you whiff a lot of tough jumps.

Me and my friends wound up eating at the Cheesecake Factory again because of “rotating villain theory”

So far we’ve rehabilitated two of the main Idiotic Blunders of Woman Presidential candidates (cringe video game references and campaigning with Republicans). If we can get “don’t campaign in Wisconsin” and “associate yourself with Biden” we’ll have close to a full set.

Hamas should have offered Palestinians policies that would have tangibly improved conditions in Gaza instead of just hoping being anti-Israel was enough

“Rotating Villain Theory” is just a consequence of Congress being perpetually near a 50/50 party split and high polarization of voting. Historically being able to whip 100% of the party for every vote is rare.

He didn’t send them to shovel the areas that didn’t have snow as previous neolib mayors have done

Conservatives, soberly: “this is Stalin’s great purge.” Leftists, giddily: “this is Stalin’s great purge!”

Where does Kamala Harris go to get her apology

People said the Democratic establishment would “throw trans people under the bus.” Then the Democratic establishment pushed trans peoples’ strongest warrior into the Maine senate race!

Whether it’s Michelle Obama, encouraging children to get exercise and eat vegetables or Melania Trump announcing that she never trafficked children to notorious pedophiles, both First Ladies made controversial announcements involving children.

You used to hear about how billions, let me repeat, billions, of lives are at risk due to global warming. We had to forget about that because electing Donald Trump to save zero lives in Gaza and punish the Democrats was more important. Now he’s dismantling the green energy sector.

“Harris said Iran was the US’ #1 adversary and this means she would have also bombed them.” Well I said Jimmy “Knuckles” McGee was the biggest bully in my school, but that didn’t mean I was going to go shoot him in the face.

I’m still trying to figure out why for the past 10 years the worst person in the world continually ran for president and many people decided the only acceptable alternative to that was someone who would fix politics forever in a single election

They say sports gambling makes you invested in games or even entire sports you previously had no interest in. I think I’ll continue being in the state of not caring about them and not losing money on them

I aged out of the draft 🙏

In general this is true. But voters thought Trump would fix the economy, end the war in Ukraine, not start any wars, not do his dumb tariffs, and not send the secret police brutalizing US citizens all over the country. Voters have never been more spectacularly wrong

There’s always something so self negating when I see someone express a variation on what Parker says here. It’s a thought that should eat itself in the mind before being expressed publicly. Like, fundamentally you can’t complain about a candidate’s failure to persuade if you yourself were persuaded!

It’s been a while since I’ve seen someone say “hello, I love you” in autism hand gestures.

If Platner wins the general election, the 90% confidence interval for his term is he accomplishes nothing, becomes a mild version of Fetterman, has several scandals, and either doesn’t run for reelection or loses handily to Republican Daryl McChudd in 2034.

I suspect “forever wars” are actually preferable to this moronic strategy of playing world leader whack-a-mole and walking away hoping things sort themselves out.

All of this really sucks. Why did we do this again?

The delusional idea that there exists a somebody to stop him is probably why he won in the first place

Today Donald Trump did one of the most unthinkable and insane things in recent US history. But it’s very important that we spend at least 5% of today being annoyed at Chuck Schumer.

I woke up this morning, heard the news, and like any other normal person not a single thought of Joe Biden, Chuck Schumer, or any other Democrat crossed my mind. Then I saw Ben Rhodes blaming Biden for not restoring the JCPOA

Before you say Donald Trump is wrong to invade Iran, understand that his hand was forced by the rash and shortsighted decision by previous US President Donald Trump to renege on the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action and sanction Iran's economy into the dirt.

Voting isn’t like shopping because if I choose to not buy a t shirt, the ugliest one I looked at doesn’t ship itself to my house and staple itself onto my torso.

If they’re doing this out of some sober concern for winning the election, it would require the belief that you can run someone who captures leftist voters while not losing the same number (absolute best case) or more (realistically) centrists, which is conclusively incorrect

The user base of this site is a small group of the most mentally unwell and out of touch leftists on Earth. If you’re not routinely getting ratioed here you’re doing something wrong

If I had spent all of 2024 telling people not to vote for Democrats because I stupidly didn’t think Trump would be that bad, I would cope with my guilt by inventing an alternate universe where President Harris did all the same things Trump did

I have spoken with several senior FBI counterintelligence officers who believe that there is a reasonably strong prospect that Tulsi Gabbard is a foreign intelligence asset.

One thing many people refuse to understand is that voting for Kamala Harris doesn’t excuse you for telling everyone she sucks and convincing others not to vote for her

Oh ok thanks for the information. Guess Trump is no big deal really

The really important thing to do when the whole country is mad about something they see as not normal is to remind them it’s very normal actually

People seem to think that Will Stancil driving around following ICE is a form of “posting”

“Normies” don’t have a worldview that is entirely determined by what Chuck Schumer says

Credit where credit’s due to the first Republican official who refers to “luxury space communism.”

The word “enshittification,” initially a provocative and exciting term to describe a novel phenomenon, appears to be going through some kind of process where its quality declines as people recklessly modify its usage to score cheap discourse points.