Now children shall we guess whether today the Straights of Hormuz are open or closed today? That's right children, they are closed.

2 weeks to bank holiday Monday people. Keep going!

Free hiim!

Good morning 🌞☀️😃 my friends Life is very chaotic and confusing 🫤

First swallow today. Winter has definitely gone.

WHY ISN'T ANYONE TALKING ABOUT THE REAL NEWS STORIES!!!

I'm still not sure whether we ought to be listening to Michael Jackson or not... #totp

Merchant Banker by day, pop star by night #totp

Play Kenny! #totp

The application has remained stable since approximately 9 PM PDT, April 16 despite ongoing Distributed Denial-of-Service (DDoS) attacks. We have not seen any evidence of unauthorized access to private user data. We will provide a further update by end of day.

Happy Birthday Mr Sean Bean! and don't forget to listen to the 'Get Birding' podcast (spoiler, he doesn't die yet). www.youtube.com/watch?v=tE8d...

Did you know the Peak District National Park is 75 today? To help celebrate, here is a great photo of a sunset at Stanage from their image archive. This shot is one of many thousands being catalogued by the #LandscapesUnlocked project. Will your favourite view be in the archive? #PeakDistrict75

Are we better today BSky?

There's a lot forbidden here today on BSky

BSky still struggling then...

It's Grandma's 99th birthday today... Which frankly is amazing given that she's broken her back, had a major stroke and a heart operation all in the last 5 years.

Cap'n BSky canna take it!

I think we might be getting some traction here...

Current BSKY status

Seems the BSKY hamster needs more coffee this morning...

The bluebells are out, do yourself a favour this weekend and go for a wander. It won't be there for long.

Yay I've found my perfect bluebell plant in the woods again this year!

C5 people - right now Sam and Ade go birding!

The glow of cherry blossom.

On this day in 2022, the Moskva was gloriously promoted to submarine by the Ukrainians. Now, as then: "Russian warship, go fuck yourself."

Kevin and Perri go large.

Leaked video from the yesterday’s mar-a-lago election night watch party ..

RIP Nanna nana nana nana nana nana naahhhh Nanna nana nana nana nana nana naahhhh Na na nahhhh Na nana nahhhh Na na nahhhh Nanna nanna nahhhhhhh 🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌

Post a picture of yourself as a doctor

blimey

I love this photo so much. Two fashionable young women with crisp bobs, chic dresses and heels watch the sunrise with their guide atop the Great Pyramid at Giza. It’s like something from a movie or an Evelyn Waugh novel. 🕰️1920s 📷 ???

Remember, Victor Orban had the support of BOTH Putin and Trump and the people still washed its hands of him. We can do this. Well done Hungary!

Band from the bathroom: Bog Brush

Watching Morcambe and Wise... cos there's nothing on TV. Just like Christmas.

Air fryer steak pie followed by air fryer apple pie.

It's 4am and I'm awake in the house, alone for the first time since losing my remaining cat 7 months ago. I so miss the company they gave me and I don't like this being alone. 😔

Ahhh the absolute bliss of wiggling around a cotton bud* in your ear during high pollen season. *Do not put anything in your ear smaller than your elbow**, I'm a Grand Master Dumbo, so ner ner ner. ** Ok, it was a LEGO man's arm and my mum says I'm special.

The vibes RN

Almost 25C here today... Madness.

A night of confrontational and threatening dreams. I can recall 4 separate ones where either I'm being attacked or I'm witnessing one. No idea why... I could do with some sleep...

🌸KYŌTO'S OLDEST FESTIVAL🎉 On (what is now) April 10th 985 Emperor Kazan (花山天皇) hosted a grand 'flower viewing' banquet in the grounds of Hirano-jinja (平野神社). The event has been celebrated ever since, and is thought to be Kyoto's oldest *continually held* festival. #Japan

Been such a lovely day, even though it was ruined by a massive migraine this morning. Managed to potter in the garden this afternoon. But the highlight was just lying on the garden path looking up into the azure blue sky with a white daffodil next to me providing the scent.

🌸💦PETAL RAFTS🛶🩷 Towards the middle of April parts of the canal beside the Philosopher's Path (哲学の道) become a river of petals. The phrases 'hana-no-ukibashi' (花の浮橋 'floating bridge of flowers') and 'hanaikada' (花筏 'flower raft') both describe water thick with petals. #哲学の道 #京都

Time for this month's Victorian Kitchen Garden.

Happy #Easter everyone. youtu.be/ZW81C6dC28o?...

It looks like you want to flush the toilet... Would you like help with that?

Tonight's film!

28 years ago, goo goo dolls released ‘iris’

Fuck