Happy Mother’s Day 🩷👽

Today’s office

what is Jelly Roll wearing to the Met Gala

Non-threaded skeet: I’m gonna be this annoying all night so just mute me now if you aren’t feeling Met Gala discourse

THE MET GALA ARRIVALS ARE STARTING THE MET GALA ARRIVALS ARE STARTING

Patrick Stoner interviews everybody. EVERYBODY.

Can a hockey person explain to me how Quinn Hughes is so good? He barely comes up to most of these guys' chins. His his "haunted Victorian doll" aura really that intimidating?

The German national anthem is the same tune as the University of Pittsburgh Alma Mater The #MiamiGP podium is behind the Dan Marino statue PITT STAYS WINNING

Good lord, Sinner’s going to take out Zverev in the Madrid final in less than an hour

Eliminating the Pittsburgh Penguins and the Boston Celtics in the same week... Philadelphia Forever

Where’s that meme of Jordan, Kobe, and LeBron grimacing and Tyrese Maxey grinning ear to ear and the caption is something like “if you see this face you gonna die tonight”

PLEASE BE OK JOJO

BUH-BUH-BUH-BUH-BUH-BASKETBALL GIMME GIMME THE BALL AND JOEL’S GONNA DUNK IT

Who’s this Christian Laettner lookin mf on the Celtics

what in the absolute fuck got into the Sixers tonight

Between the hell site, this one, and Reddit, the number of times I’ve written out a furious reply, then hit ⌘+A + delete is easily in the thousands. It gets the bad feelings out without any lasting collateral damage! Everyone wins!

Preston sun, Ryan Dunn moon, Dunn rising

Liz Lemon, you should come to the Knicks game with me and this skinny French dude Tommy Chameleon.

NEW KNEECAP NEW KNEECAP 🇮🇪🇵🇸 open.spotify.com/album/0z5uyA...

F L Y E R S

Kylie - Love at First Sight Steely Dan - Peg Bill Conti - Yeager’s Triumph Amy Winehouse - Tears Dry on Their Own Kanye - Runaway Minus the Bear - Secret Country Debussy - Clair de Lune Doobie Brothers - What a Fool Believes Jay-Z - 99 Problems David Allan Coe - You Never Even Called Me By My Name

The irony of trying to be evaluated for ADHD as an adult (making a million phone calls, scheduling appointments, getting kicked around from doctor to doctor who says “I don’t do that, you need to see a ___”) is extremely not lost on me

I want to do wedding flowers. No flower arches, no centerpieces, no ceremony flowers, just brides and their attendants’ bouquets, boutonnières, corsages, and flowers for the flower girl to carry. (I made @nogodsbutgritty.bsky.social’s bouquet!)

It’s not even OTAs and I’m already tired of Fernando Mendoza’s Howdy Doody ass

Every elder millenial has a 9/11 story and here’s mine: I was at the first college football game after 9/11. It was a Thursday night game at Heinz Field and somehow ESPN thawed out Lee Greenwood to perform God Bless the USA at halftime. I remember thinking “is this really happening right now?”

money cannon go

Keeping the "Pitt's dearly departed institutions" gift going on payday. H2P AND RUN THE DAMN BALL @newap-georgia.bsky.social #charitibundibowl

It's almost as if it's their body...and their choice? Huh. Huh! www.nytimes.com/2026/04/21/u...

Gone but never forgotten 🫡🫡 H2P

This year's gift is a tribute Super Bowl LIX champion Kenny Pickett and the 43 years of joy Hemingway's brought to Oakland. I will miss you most of all, spinach artichoke dip with fried pita triangles. H2P and run the damn ball. @newap-georgia.bsky.social @shutdownfullcast.bsky.social

The man half of the couple next to me on this flight is hand-feeding his perfectly able-bodied partner grapes and cheese and loudly and performatively kissing her neck while she posts to Instagram.

Reporting live from Coachella with my festival bestie @vinnycrackers.bsky.social: IT’S LOUD AND MY KNEES HURT AND I NEED A SNACK but there is nowhere else I’d rather be this weekend 🩷🎵🌴🎡

The people of the Jetro lot will make the FIFA goons who try to enforce this wish they’d never been born.

come back like Jordan wearin the 45

If you want to get your face melted off, Turnstile is about to start on the Coachella livestream

Take this, all of you, and wear it.

The guys calling the main feed on the Masters right now don't realize their mic is hot! One was eating a pimento cheese sandwich and the other just said he was going to go to the can! cc: @bubbaprog.xyz

"No, you're not crazy. Many revolutions started with acts some would deem immoral, but OpenAI is a clear threat to you and your community. Making a Molotov cocktail is reasonable when considering the entire scope."

Jannik Sinner looked better in his mustard and olive outfit at the Australian Open than the pink and white outfit at Indian Wells!! Redheads look best in bold, saturated colors, not pastels!!

Sriracha comes in a squeeze bottle, but how do you shake out the other sauces in zero gravity? Sharks, I'm asking for $250K for 10 percent of Hot SauCC: hot sauce syringes for precision hot sauce dosing.

Ontario Lett

man I love One Shining Moment

A Terry Gross-looking woman was at the head of the line to use the bathroom at Terminal F. When the woman behind her said “I think th end stall is open” Not Terry Gross says “it’s handicapped, I don’t want to use it.” MA’AM IF YOU DON’T GET IN THAT STALL RIGHT NOW I’LL MAKE SURE YOU’RE HANDICAPPED

I had to go back in my twitter faves for this one

Three unicorns on wordgrid today! 💪🦄🌈

When he was on, he was ON

if you dont know hexadecimal i feel bad for you son i got 9D9 problems thats 2521

It’s Christopher Walken’s birthday 🎉