i have called a lot of athletes my beautiful infant son before but nobody and i mean nobody is my beautiful infant son in the way seth jarvis is my beautiful infant son

if donny hathaway covers your song that's not your song anymore. that's donny hathaway's song now.

proud to work for a public library that purchased this book on my behalf, and i can’t wait to see it circulate now that i’ve finished it. charming, affecting, honest-to-god funny, and easily the best depiction of group chats i’ve seen in a work of fiction. bravo @dirtbagqueer.rocks

here are four extremely normal and reasonable texts i’ve sent about tottenham hotspur football club this week

Hello Bluesky. I'm a librarian who researches regional American heirloom apple varieties. I also enjoy a bit of college football from time to time. In honor of Week Zero of the college football season, I present: The 2025 All-Heirloom Team.

This is a good visualization of when people say that AI saves them time.

thanks to Tuna Melts for sponsoring this afternoon's posts. Tuna Melts: The Official Lunch of Little Freaks Everywhere.

hitting fig consumption levels unseen by anyone since emperors of yore

paul wall terhauser

just remembered seahorses. that shit is crazy

when e-40 farts @joshgondelman.bsky.social

during the live premier, adam sandler showed up to announce the bruins' first round NHL draft pick at the exact same time as josh was telling a joke that involved adam sandler. here's something that could have been brought to your attention yesterday: the special is really good!

this is the real use case for AI: creating a centralized source of "truth" that can be altered at the whim of its fascist owners. technology cannot be disconnected from its financial backing & political consequences. pretending it "could be useful" in a vacuum is a fantasy. bsky.app/profile/pale...

alex-horne-saying-yallah-im-ready.mp3

i dont want to be a killjoy but we desperately need to make it socially unacceptable to talk about asking chatgpt things in regular conversation

had a day off from work at the Proud Tradition Of Morally Upstanding Hockey Factory* so i picked up a shift at the God's Strongest Soldiers Factory** *rooting for the carolina hurricanes **rooting for the toronto maple leafs

This kid is 15, and so has a moral clarity and uprightness that no adult elected official would or could ever have. There aren't really and never have been two sides of this issue, but if it has to be argued as a binary thing I don't see how anything less than this could seem like the side to be on.

me 🍯 ➡️ 🐐 freddie andersen

love and respect to my fellow Chatty Patties out there

all will be forgiven if jordon hudson simply changes her middle name to "marie" and takes bill to rutt's hut

[watching a very specific animated movie] oh fuck is that castle moving?

feels a bit strange to use the scoreline from a loss as a #CharitibundiBowl donation total, but finally getting rid of mack brown is the only thing worth commemorating from this season @newap-georgia.bsky.social @edsbs.bsky.social @hollyanderson.bsky.social

Between this and the experience at Twitter I think there's now enough evidence to say that "not buying toilet paper for the office" is a core aspect of Elon Musk's management philosophy. It also raises some worrying questions about the state of Musk's own ass.

“Run the government like a business” remains a peerless indicator that you’re talking to someone who doesn’t know shit about fuck.

roses are red, borat voice My Wife,

there is no reason to go on the power play against the carolina hurricanes. it is your own time you're wasting.

seth jarvis is a hockey player [compliment] whereas tom wilson is a hockey player [derogatory]

"i have two guns, one for each of ya" is still one of the hardest line reads in the biz imo

They done Fucked Up In Gave Us A Dolphin🐬🌊

“give mina kimes a fruit picker” is my “give carly rae jepsen a sword”

working at the library and @thetate.bsky.social just checked out this book because, and i quote, “i wanna pick up some ladies at the my chemical romance show”

what was eric tulsky cooking

lost by a half point and now we’re all watching the winning team pick their prizes in fear of losing out on this damn dolphin 😞

“i need this dolphin so bad” - @thetate.bsky.social

things went so well with Crescent, why’d they stop making Fertile shapes

[has literally only read the title of that one movie] damn my boy smaug was going thru it

Don’t ever say men do not have interior lives

i would die for my country

i hate to see him liev schreiber but i love to watch him go schreiber

pregame thoughts

hey gang quick hockey question, regarding your friends and mine the carolina hurricanes: what the fuck just happened

[listening to a very specific song] ok but what if instead you bet on the winning dogs

remembered my password

when joe looked at a bunch of ground meat and said "i'm gonna make this sloppy"? he went off

dj paul: i am a dog, one you do not trust. me: hmm. i'm having a hard time seeing this. could you give me three examples?

i see fire and rain all the time and the only reason i haven't written an iconic song about it is because it is so normal to me

this is the perfect venue to contextlessly post memes i've made for the trivia group chat to promote the trivia night i host

in a bluesky exclusive, i am reporting that @woop.bsky.social has officially been swishahousepilled

in my head i pronounce this app as if it rhymes with "whoopty" and to answer the obvious next question yeah of course i do the song