Heathrow Express tells me I can have all my tickets in one place if I create an account. But that I can still put my tickets in my wallet. HOW, you fuckers? I am NOT going to create an account. I AM going to nurse a grudge forever.

The painful construction of Berlin Brandenburg severely damaged Germany’s reputation for efficiency. So credit where due, we’ve been in and out of the EES there and it was super smooth. Germany still has it.

lol.

Today I learned that the Meridian Piccadilly is now The Dilly. I remember when if you were going dahna Dilly you did not exactly intend to engage in upscale activities. But apparently this doesn’t resonate with younger branding types.

If the Today Programme doesn't read out the Daily Mail., a submarine commander opens sealed orders.

What in the name of god

“Sloth World debacle”

If he didn’t want it to leak he would not have met Starmer today.

If Streeting doesn’t go for it coronation chicken will be available.

Slightly increase a band: The Five Tops. The Jackson Six. The Twelfth Floor Elevators.

Slightly increase a band: Martha Reeves and the Truckdellas.

We mix a squirt of lickie-lix into the cat’s food. We were away for a couple of weeks, and cat feeder has got through the entire supply (about 6 weeks worth). Cat now has serious cold turkey and is not happy.

DEMOCRACY IN ACTION!

He sues seashells on the seashore.

King of just the one country, then?

[Oz Pearlman performing at White House Correspondents' Dinner] Oz: "Okay, I'm going to guess what folks secretly most desire in the world. We'll start with President Trump." *Oz looks at Trump for a few seconds and concentrates* Oz: "Okay... that's really fucking weird. Jesus. Let's move on."

Lucky for Nicola Sturgeon that she'd retired as First Minister before this came out

Ooh, 67 DS, the most covetable Frogeye.

Quite the unleash from the National Review here. apple.news/Ae_FuO3rCTbW...

French House chef wields Palette of Destiny.

🧵!!!!! Buckle up, it's a wild ride!!!

We're gonna have software subscriptions complaining about software subscriptions

Well this is nice, possibly. Change name back to The Brecknock would be good though. Also, there’s an S106 for it that’s “redacted”. What’s that about?

Your Party's entire Scottish interim executive has resigned en masse, declaring it "over" and saying they will start a new party instead. Says Your Party is not a "serious attempt to unite the left" and "cannot recover."

Fascinating, Zelensky coming out publicly more and more and saying that Trump is working with/for Putin. The Ukrainians seem to have determined that telling the truth is preferable to lying to please Trump.

Happy Shoulda Finished The Job Day

On the upside Avignon got some quite tasteful building work out of that episode. A Washington antipope could do wonders for the local aesthetic.

Reza Pahlavi

I... uh... wha... huh.

A book? Well that should at least slow him up a tad.

The boss of the company that runs Wireless Festival has just put out a statement *defending* their decision to have Kanye West headline it (see below). I have some thoughts on that statement, and I think it's easiest if I do a thread on it: www.jewishnews.co.uk/wireless-fes...

Must be a contender for best ever letter to the Times

Outside the closed down Camden Road Arms an entrepreneur strikes (but it’s more like three minutes if you ask me).

Since people seem to be extremely into the horse-cake photo...here are his 30th and 31st birthday cakes, and a before-and-after of him eating a slice. There was always singing and sometimes balloons. He died just short of his 34th birthday, a good, long life for a horse. Give the horse cake!

BREAKING: Donald Trump meets privately with Kash Patel and Pete Hegseth to assure them their jobs are secure, amidst swirling rumors that they may be the next cabinet members to be fired. #KashPatel #PeteHegseth

Caitlin Moran on the joy of soup. I endorse this message. apple.news/A9v8Y4VhWTL6...

It looks like you're trying to utilise a buggy Microsoft application for a mission critical action while piloting a rocketship to the moon - would you like some help?

I'd missed this. Lot of Warthogs transiting through UK to the Gulf this week. theaviationist.com/2026/03/31/m...

In addition to threatening pulling out of NATO (Telegraph interview) Trump says the Royal Navy’s carriers don’t work. Bold talk for someone whose most powerful warship is laid up in Split suffering from non-operational flush toilets. We don’t laugh enough at this, IMO.

There's single-point failure And there's this

“While I will soon appear once more upon the earthly realm, My sole focus during this Second Coming will be various woodworking projects and not the establishment of a messianic kingdom,” said Christ, the Light of the World

Pete Hegseth, c’est Rambo et con à la fois

Why you don't let an algorithm pick the photo to go with your news article...

Every sentence brings something new to the madness. Stick it on CEEFAX.

CENTCOM told me Iran keeps hitting their high-value assets so I asked how many they have and they said they just go to the Pentagon and get new ones afterwards so I said it sounds like they're just feeding high-value assets to the Iranians and then INDOPACOM started crying

I see Seb “gissa seat” Payne is still at it.

So today I learned there are reserve power outfits. They build out battery farms, buy excess power from the grid when it’s cheap then sell it back at peak consumption. Steady 4-5% ROI and I ask myself why I spent 20 years trying to make money out of publishing. I did OK but…

Beware Thucydiocy - let @nevillemorley.eurosky.social be your guide…

How often did Scot Gov civil servants offer to meet with people who submitted FOI requests that were likely to breach the cost limit in 2025? Answering this question would breach the cost limit, says Scot Gov. At least they have a sense of humour…

Surprised to discover Catholicism has some good points. Also that the Universal Life Church still exists. I’ve been an ordained minister for decades, but I lost the certificate. www.themonastery.org/blog/why-som...