The incoming PM really should simply address all of the things that I think are most important, and they should do so using my simple policy ideas that no one else has ever thought of or tried…

Comprehensively smashed Liz Truss’s days-in-office and doesn’t he know it…

Wordle: For sure was tricky today!

Fucking hell how big is it??

Woke up with a semi….. ….final watch party to plan… ….and a boner.

Well I’ve spent the whole of #NorEng drawing the three English lions on a tote bag, time well spent even if we don’t win

PSA: Binface Binface Binface scans to Badger Badger Badger Oh no it’s a S̷n̷a̷k̷e̷ Frog

The binfire of the vanities.

Count Binface vs The Cunt of Murky-Crypto

Let’s just check in on the guy with the nuclear football and see how he is doing today….

Count Binface vs Cunt Bungface

Balogun confirms he won’t stand leaving a straight fight between Farage and Binface..

From a politico friend: "I cannot believe how earnestly I mean this: but I really hope the Monster Raving Loony Party stand down in favour of Count Binface" in Clacton The intergalactic wasteman is surely the only sensible candidate with a shot...

To the Binmobile, Binman…

🧵 Amid all the speculation about Nigel Farage's 2pm statement, it's worth noting paragraph 40 of the Procedural Protocol to the MPs' Code of Conduct. If he announces he's resigning and seeking a by-election, that would not automatically end the investigation into whether he breached the Code in...

You might want to have a look at Art. 66 4 and 5 of the FIFA Disciplinary Regulations, and consider the effect of under Art. 74 of those regulations of the specific, displacing, provisions of Art. 10.5 of the FIFA World Cup Regulations. Oh, and BTW: it's Swiss law is applicable here.

Apple built a tool for people with cognitive disabilities, but I accidentally discovered it’s also the best kids’ phone setup no one is talking about—not even Apple. www.wired.com/story/this-b...

Bob Dylan's whiny voice.

A former colleague invented this Reflecting Pool cocktail for his July 4th celebrations, and the really genius thing he did was include a bit of blueberry skin to honor the floating bits of American Flag Blue paint.

El Niño and the climate change gods could do the funniest thing…

Hydration break

when you run into your ex and they found someone new ❤️

You went to the frozen section wearing just your underpants? cool story bro..

When reality surpasses fiction! Top: fictional forecast for August 2050, broadcast by French TV in 2014 to warn about the consequences of global warming. Bottom: Real French forecast for yesterday, June 22, 2026.

I am very rich and will hire Streisland's PR team to make this all go away...

I saw this referred to as the Strait of Warm Ooze. Very good.

I’m a non-profit prophet

Penne for your thoughts:

Drain the swamp!

So if I want Vic line I follow signs whether I want Vic or circle line or alternatively I can follow signs to Vic line which is quicker that the signposted route + is quicker than going through tunnel to Vic line, but may or may not involve stairs, so isn’t faster for everyone - got it!

Basically they should have vaccinated it…

Or did I?….

Blooming marvellous thread:

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire...

Absolute scenes at the fan park in Lisbon when they equalised

A new meme is born…

We obliterated Iran, then we had to go to war (it wasn’t a war) with them to remove their nukes, which we did, and it makes sense them to have nukes, so I signed the Treaty of Versailles and we’re going to pack up and go home now…- where is my peace prize?

Just watch Thierry Henry once Lalas is done

Bull fighting, surrealism, successful tennis players, expensive nightclubs, Patatas Bravas… your boys took one helluva beating…

Cape Verde be like:

A generation of children confined to exclusively posting on LinkedIn, humbled to share that they have been recognised as thought leaders in vertically integrating your mom's supply chain.

🎶 She wore an Itsy bitsy teeny weeny…

BALLS MEET EGGPLANT

K-hole A-hole obscene bank-roll self-driving, robo-taxi, nazi with rocket, yo.

So when do the space X ships get full self driving?

Don't tell 'em [your name], Pike!

I wonder what the animal spirits will make of all this…

The United Kingdom sends our condolences to the people of America.