I need a DATE and/or DICK

*mic drop*

Misread a sign advertising Cub Scouts as "Dub Scouts." Dub Scouts should be a thing.

are swifties okay

It's true. I'm 39 and can count the number of podcast episodes I've listened to on one hand

I don't even want the deluxe edition box. I just want a Scampuss keychain so badly.

Honestly this is why I don’t trust enlightened self interest as a motivation. Too many people would rather put themselves and their loved ones at greater risk than see any poor person get a “handout” they don’t “deserve.”

The Protestant work ethic nonsense compounded by the selfish idea that life is a zero sum game where any gain by someone else means a loss for you as well as the cut off your nose to spite your face racism about POC getting any benefit means most people’s self-interest is far from enlightened

Anyway I won the battle against etix bots today but it kinda felt like tricking a ten-year-old.

I enjoy my life and my music is fulfilling and my friendships are too. I love my family. I have a lot to be thankful for. That said, I don't like being single very much.

Bilge Ebiri asks Jim Jarmusch a question we've always wondered about when it comes to indie filmmakers: “How do you pay the bills?”

Busted a nut and then a minute later my boss texted to tell me that I don't need to come in to work tonight. This might be the greatest I've ever felt.

BAND SHIRT MOCKUP BAND SHIRT MOCKUP

So-called “dark humorists” when the court jester’s ribald satire seeks to geld thy Lord or Lady’s reputation rather than that of a foolish peasant or rival squire

virginity isn't even real it's a made up concept invented by religious sex perverts

I’m preaching to the choir here but the hideous 61 year old man who wrote this is fixated on virgins because a grown woman who knows what she likes and doesn’t like would immediately tell him to go fuck himself. The virgin in question being inside the computer is even better because he is lazy

Yup

Using all my willpower to not comment on something that claims that one of my jobs "always oversells tickets" which is objectively incorrect

September

Went to the toy section in Walmart, saw that my boy Sean was gone and immediately went right to the clearance aisle. It pays to wait.

one of the weirder parts of this wave of total surrender of core civil liberties is there is no fucking reason for it. no world war 2, not even a 9/11. we're just bored and mad

China made bone glue? Big deal!!! I've been making my own "bone glue" since I was 13 years old!

What did they mean by this?????? 🤔

so basically white house staffers are burning entire data centers to the ground having grok generate ai slop to nudge president grandpa’s melting brain toward whichever culture war flashpoint the nazis are moaning about on twitter and succeeding only in convincing him of the existence of mutants

Working Natasha Bedingfield and I had no idea that any of her songs had time signature changes... whoaaa

There are so many bands I will never give a chance because their names are stupid

someone set up a truman show style town for eric adams to be mayor of, like, he shouldn’t actually be in charge of anything real but he’s comedy gold

The Larry Hama run of Generation X is whatever but this particular storyline decided to go all furry with it

On its birthday, share one image from your favourite TNG episode.

I've been noticing more frequently how many queers go to metalcore shows. Which sucks because I want more for my siblings.

The thing about a metalcore show on a Saturday with doors at 4:30 in the afternoon is that no one is here yet

I wonder if I can convince RGG to do a Kiwami of my life with updated graphics and more fleshed-out character development

fb ads crazier than ever

Big fat American penis

Today is metalcore show into private party into disco loadout into dance party. I love my job 🤷

Found a website for some of you

I saw Jawbreaker tonight. Two shows in a row used to be fun. Now my back hurts.

Android 16 feels like it's getting buggier with every update

Everyone who worked on YouTube Music should get cancer and therefore experience what it's like to use their app

Alice Cooper played four songs off Love it to Death last night. Dennis Dunaway came out during I'm Eighteen and surprised the shit out of me.

Can't believe I'm going to see Jawbreaker tonight. The real problem is that I still haven't slept off Alice/Priest/CoC yet.

This is the Painkiller, etc

Not worried about getting raptured because I'm in Bridgeport tonight and God does not know about Bridgeport.

My buddy got on the list for Judas Priest, and I'm his +1. Just saved $200 by being a real one.

Look I despise Trump as much as anyone; but when he's right, he's right.

Anyway I apologize but lifting is so much better for you than most things

I'm not a significant person by any means but sometimes I wanna block my reply guys

This and some anal