The NFL should give him an Emmy.

The FIFA Peace Prize thing has my reactions torn between how objectively hilarious and pathetic it is, and deep-seated shame because… well just because I like football.

Did someone tell him that there’s treasure buried under the White House or something? He’s going to emerge from the rubble filled hole in the ground clutching “actually the real constitution” declaring “see says right here: one king.”

They …bombed JD Vance? You never go full VEEP, guys. Did they remember to write “antifa is good” on the shell at least?

San Francisco was scorching today. Lucky we had signs for …shade.

Trump to sign an executive order requiring only his personal caddies be allowed to work the course at the next Ryder Cup.

Handled with remarkable, deft class, and channelling this rare extra attention toward all manner of issues beyond himself. Kimmel has such a talent for stepping above his shtick at key moments.

This whole website right now:

Thoughts and prayers (derogatory)

Make a band a food: Sushi and the Banshees

Make a band a food: …And you will know us by the trail of bread.

Make a band a food: The eggs eggs.

Trump’s solution to the Ukraine war is for the USA to surrender? Truly his Nobel Peace Prize is in the bag.

Slightly diminish a band: Nick Cave and the Just Absolute Dogshit Seeds

Slightly diminish a band: A Winged Stalemate for the Sullen.

Reese Reese Witherspoon. Withoutherspoon

“I kicked him out of my club for hiring underage girls.” Sounds like a strong moral position. “I kicked him out of my club for hiring underage girls from me.” A real choice to keep talking for those two more words.

Seemingly every few weeks I have to erase my Firefox local profile and start over because it simply ceases to make network connections and won't load any pages. No new extensions, no config change. Just… dead. Forum advice like “disable http3” is ineffective and seems outdated. Anyone fixed this?

Any user in particular?

I was building a floating frame for a canvas. I mistakenly cut two sides the wrong way up, so they were short. Oops. Bought new wood and finally restarted. This new wood is thicker. So reusing old measurements doesn’t make the same size frame. I now realise. Anyhoo, today I made half of two frames.

Look, I’m not in favour of dick swinging military parades as a measure of national might. Very anti that, in fact. Especially my own country. But I’m also opposed to such parades making us look like total dogshit. Greenland is watching this confidently drawing up plans to annex to lower 48.

Happy birthday you fuck. You colossal prick. You piece of shit. Enjoy your Army birthday party. Bet you wish you’d kept the old bone spurs sick note to skip out on this too, yeah?

Also a delight to see Trump’s tiny dick parade looking so shitty. Looks so hard to spin they’ll have to exhume Sean Spicer from the Easter Bunny tomb they froze him in.

Home from the SF No Kings march, looking through all the wonderful pictures from around the country. There’s so much to face, but so good to see how not alone we are to do it.

gentleman, gentleman, please, there's no need for this! you are both in the epstein files.

I’m inclined to believe Elon since he was there.

Twitter right now

God DAMN

All I want now is the news that a plucky little Ukrainian drone has exfiltrated The Pee Tape from a Russian bunker and is racing toward the border with it.

this reminds me of the day the llamas escaped from the zoo

Heh “very disappointed”. “Elon was once like a son to me, but now he is like one of my sons.”

Google pimping its latest AI a little more literally than they perhaps meant to.

I just don’t think Pete Hegseth’s policy of serving hard liquor at every briefing is working out you guys.

At a certain point, it's not really an aircraft "carrier" anymore

Can only read this headline in Parker Posey’s voice. Which given the context I do not feel great about, tbh.

“Delete all IP law” says owner of music streaming service TIDAL. Even a pittance for artists is too much.

Maybe voting for guy who was a complete disaster last time was a mistake?

Given the structures of US politics I’m sure Donald Truss would outlast a lettuce. But he won’t outthink it.

If someone could just hint to Trump that this was a DOGE “efficiency” cut…

New phone, Houthis

As part of my own debezosification, I've dropped Audible in favour of @libro.fm (and in support of @bookhaus.bsky.social). And it's really rather good.

Bumper sticker that says, "Bought after the pedo diver thing... during the Grimes thing... you know what, this is on me. My bad"

Do I know any people in #SanFrancisco who are interested in live radio and music and service on a nonprofit board? @bff.fm is looking for board volunteers w/ experience in fundraising (grants, corporate sponsorships, and major gifts).

Reposting so you, too, can enjoy the phrase, “incel clown posse”.

The last time we fucked around like this, Canada burned down the White House. And there’s one specific Canadian who could really use a PR win these days. And if the rumours about Drake are true, he should have no problem getting an invitation from this administration.

Rubio sank so far into that couch I was honestly afraid JD Vance might fuck him.

New bdrmm and Andy Bell records out today seem to blend together almost perfectly for a synthy-shoegazey morning soundtrack.

Wish I were one of Elon's kids so I'd never see him again