Comes in handy in the Olympic pole vaulting event, though

H.L. Mencken, July 26, 1920:

“Enjoy what might be your last Merry Christmas!” -A message from the president.

I think we can now all agree that John McClane throwing the explosives down the elevator shaft with a computer monitor was counterproductive to his cause.

Top potatoes of 2025 Russet Fingerling Chips Sweet Mister

Substack is both proof that there is a lot of talent out there and that those people need editors.

I watched the final Downton Abbey movie last night, which should more accurately have been titled “Downton Abbey: What the Hell is Paul Giamatti Doing in This?”

100% chance Trump University is in the college football playoff next year

Man in line in front of me at TSA looks confused after setting off the metal detector. Reaches into his pockets, pulls out his phone, keys, and wallet. TSA agent just rolls her eyes.

Cost of an Uber from LaGuardia Airport to midtown: $105.95. Cost of returning to LaGuardia via train/bus: $2.90.

I accidentally paid my credit card twice, so I actually had a $1,000 POSITIVE balance on my card. Somehow I don’t think they’re going to give me the 13% interest they take from me when I borrow from them.

In all the Rob Reiner retrospectives I am seeing a lack of respect for The Sure Thing, which is top-shelf. Do better, America.

There is no language czar — twisting the Queen’s English into something more useful today is verbal democracy at work. | Christian Schneider https://www.nationalreview.com/2025/12/you-can-say-that-again/

Today at @nationalreview.bsky.social , I make the case that we should embrace the language of the youths, whether or not it sounds silly: link.nationalreview.com/click/6943fe...

Who was asking for LinkedIn Wrapped

My debut today at @wsj.com: www.wsj.com/opinion/free...

Vanity Fair caught a picture of my lip filler

Thanks to @vanityfair.com for the photo shoot!

I’ve never watched the Amazing Race until now, but evidently this show allows you to experience all the stress of traveling without the benefit of going anywhere?

I'm about to take some Nyquil, so I can't be held responsible for anything I say for the next three days

My favorite albums of 2025: www.anti-knowledge.com/p/the-best-a...

America elected one of its worst people to represent us not once, but twice. Trump is a stain we will never live down. The Limp Bizkit lower back tattoo of democracy.

The Texas men’s swim team is courtside to support UT’s women’s volleyball team in their NCAA tournament match against Wisconsin 😂

Tony Vlachos is the most entertaining #Survivor competitor of all time and it's not particularly close

I swear I have asked my dog whether she's a good girl a million times. WHEN WILL SHE FINALLY ANSWER ME?

It is really surprising that Jim Gaffigan's 40-minute special on bourbon is his funniest set in years. Sometimes putting limits on your potential topics can force you to dig deeper and find more focus.

It's the Incentives, Stupid: From college kids with ‘disabilities’ to the Minnesota fraudsters, we see the results when society or government confers benefits on certain groups or behaviors. (Me today at @nationalreview.bsky.social) link.nationalreview.com/click/693ae0...

Pixies fans when they find out Diddy's sexual alter ego was named "Frank Black"

This photo.

Quiz: Which one of these is not currently a working musical artist? 1. Sports Team 2. Soccer Mommy 3. Remember Sports 4. Dad Sports 5. American Football 6. Soccer Team 7. Modern Baseball

Watched the first Diddy documentary episode and realized the greatest thing about the 80s was that one-hit wonder Al B. Sure had his own 1-900 number that people could call to and pay get bits of wisdom from Al B. Sure

Does anyone else get super nervous when they make Terry Bradshaw say Jaxon Smith-Njigba’s name

When Tom Brady calls a wide receiver route a “man beater”

Seven episodes into this season of SNL, a few observations: Lorne Michaels has always had a rule against giving sketch characters funny names just for a cheap laugh. The fact that a sketch last night had a character named "Ribbed Con-Dom" suggests Lorne has stepped back from the show. And it shows.

Happy Birthday to Large Marge, may you rest in peace

After writing 400 words of your next column

If your Spotify age is under 18, does Matt Gaetz get a phone notification?

Me today at @nationalreview.bsky.social: What 'Survivor' Can Teach Us About the Government: link.nationalreview.com/click/69319d...

Spotify thinks I am my daughter’s age, which I think is a Black Mirror episode

People online keep saying it's "giving Tuesday" and I thought that was just Gen Z code for "it doesn't quite feel like it's the beginning of the week, but it doesn't feel like midweek, either"

"Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth seems to be a war criminal. Without a war. An interesting achievement." www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/202...

No Nuzzi is good Nuzzi

I legitimately feel bad for all the actresses watching Pluribus who realize they have no shot at an Emmy next year. Rhea Seehorn has it locked up.

If the Beach Boys got their wish and they were all California girls, that would really be a test for the Electoral College

When you’re looking at a plate of dry Thanksgiving food and then the gravy finally shows up

The problem with reality competitions where contestants vote each other out is that it's always total mediocrities that cruise to the end. If you're too good at the game, you're a threat and they vote you out. If you're bad at the game, nobody can stand you and they vote you out.

Keep in mind that on the show Survivor, there's one employee whose entire job is blurring the contestants' butt cracks.

For these commercials, I assume Uber Eats is paying Bradley Cooper about as much as it costs them to deliver me one burrito

An account that collects dismissive and hostile old reviews of targets that deserved better. From my former colleague @anti-knowledge.com.