I always forget about that bit in Jurassic Park 3 where Sam Niell is dreaming he's alone on a plane with a velociraptor that says 'Alan'. Howl every time.

Huge. And I meet more and more over 50s too who will be voting for the Green Party as well! Join.greenparty.org.uk

Gabriel is the one player I'm not sure Arsenal can afford to lose, especially not for a Bayern UCL tie. Could be very big blow to their season that.

Paddies doing a number on Rapey Ronnie. Gwan lads.

I've been working nights since 2011 and yet I always forget that they're fucking torture at this stage of the year.

Another loan move to Getafe? Worked last time.

Talking of sex offenders, Old Trafford seems to be something of a conveyer belt for them.

There's usually no bigger calling card for a moon fruit on any footy platform than a 'corruption' shout but if City weasel their way out of any serious punishment for these 115 charges I'll happily neck some potassium cyanide and sign up.

Sigh.

They used the same tactic against Bournemouth and yet Slot was surprised 🫠

Mascot Minute Silence coming up with the goods again this year.

Not going to pretend we played well but that goal was a rallying point and the combination with the poor penalty, worse offside call and deflected goal on the cusp of HT killed what contest there was. Oliver has form in this fixture.

There's one thing for which I just can't let Slot off the hook and that's our flanks. I hoped I was wrong when I worried about Gakpo being our only option on the left and an aging Salah on the right but there's no getting away from how narrow we are right now.

Two horse race now. Has been for a while now if we're honest. Given Arsenal's recent capacity for handling psychological blows I'd be worried if I was a Gunner, especially with Haaland scoring for fun and both Foden & Doku looking like they're about to join the party

Let's not pretend this has been anything short of ball-less on the back of that Madrid shift. Midfield nonexistent, like in every other game we've lost.

We caught Villa on a particularly bad day.

Scoring a setpiece against Arsenal feels like hitting a wrestler with their own finisher.

Haway!

Spurs just did a reverse Spursy with a double pike only to end up Spursy again. Degree of difficulty 10/10.

There is no bigger temptation of fate than Richarlison taking his shirt off.

Vile draws can wreck your season. Just ask Rafael Benitez about that.

It's the dirt worst when a high ball drops down to an advancing mildfielder with time and space for a touch and chance to pick a spot and instead sky it first time. Keita got absolutely dragged for it in 22 UCL final against Madrid.

The shop doesn’t sound too happy.

It really is a case of the midfield turning up again on Sunday and assuming it does, that game is winable. Turn out like we did against Utd, Chelsea and Brentford then forget it. Fortunately the team will have more confidence now that it's had all season, especially the likes of Bradley and Macca.

I'm having a hell of a time with score predictions this week.

Truth.

It's proper tickling me that he's clearly mad as fuck that his press event has been ruined by someone selfishly losing consciousness.

Annual shout out to that time the Mancs descended on Ed Woodward's house in the dead of night with a pyrotechnics and vigilanté justice.

Checking in on Rudy Giuliani, I see he's having an insane one

I quite like fireworks as my pinned post will tell you. My border collie alas does not and my mrs and I have been trying ro calm her down with R.E.M and Bill Bailey's Pub Hikes.

Not sure how City have managed to specialise in players that are simply annoying to look at.

That handball last night is identical to Tarkowski's in the Leeds vs Ev tie at Elland Rd and that was given on review. I suppose it's an indictment of crap PL officiating more than anything.

First time in over a year we don't have to look at a US news cycle through the gaps between our fingers.

We had nine shots on target and to their two. I've seen bad Madrid teams but I've not seen many toothless Madrid teams, especially ones that are top.of La Liga. Take nothing away from the reds but they were really poor.

Macca is like the weathervane of the team, isn’t he? When he’s playing well, others around him play well. He’s an unfussy, wonderfully intelligent player who, when in form & fit, makes us tick in his own quietly understated way.

Suspect jewellery not withstanding, I think Sturridge might be the best ex-red on punditry.

We were great. You also have to say Madrid were very poor.

Bayern turning over PSG with ten men after a straight red of Diaz is a nice little side quest.

❌️ Go back and show your workings.

I think Salah has finally clocked (or been told) he can be just as effective holding the ball up and find the right pass as he can be cutting inside and going alone.

I wish I was taking the piss but how long has Szobs got left on his contract cos these will be sniffing about?

No amount of Madrid stink will make me say a bad word against Xabi for the record. My boy's got bulletproof plot armour.

It's the inconsistency that's shite, not the decision which is correct but that's somehow no less annoying. All of which makes me go cross-eyed frankly.

Best half since since the Arsenal tie that.

Szobs and Bradley are in acres of space on this near side.

You've seen them given but I'd be annoyed if that got given against us.

Bradley's dealt with Vini Jr well so far but he is absolutely going to need help.