we are one day away from the funniest VAR offsides graphic ever

I don't want them to win but fuck me what a goal.

Same energy

🎶 He's our lad from Portugal Better than Figo don't you know Ooooh his name is Diogo 🎶

Rapey Ronnie truly brings Portugal down with him if my balanced feed is anything to go off.

Cruel twist of fate that the Homelander of football wouldn't have been at this WC had the 2024 election gone the other way.

It's an unfortunate and tiresome cliché of social media that pundits are relentlessly dragged by online Champ Managers but dear god do we not need to hear from Wayne Rooney about stuff.

If England fans were anywhere near as inventive and resourceful as a good Barclays crowd they'd have penned 'Rock You Like a Harry Kane' by now. International crowds are absolute non-entities.

Just as I begin to warm toward this England side they inflict a 'Wonderwall' singalong on a 48 nation World Cup.

'You're a striker Harry' 🧙‍♂️

I truly thought I was in Invasion of the Body Snatchers with how loudly I was shouting this and how few people were having it.

Shearer and his ‘goals change games’ vibing off this

An excellent air of smugness on Redsky at the sight of Diomandé shitting out 👏

Whoever played the through ball deserves the credit for that.

Worldie! But more Danny Murphy fever dream cat tangents please.

Yeah, for all of the shit Tah got for skying his spot kick against Paraguay, this one for me is orders of magnitude worse.

This summer transfer window smells very much like one of those where the scouts earn their money, we sign three or four players no one has ever seen/heard of and the podcasters are not going to have clue what to make of it all until opening day.

Santa on Boxing Day

Gakpo's celebration was A LOT. Poor fella.

And the Germans who did NOT win on penalties

Also Neuer's worst night between the sticks since Mané sent him for a pizza.

The least German penalty shootout of all time it is fair to say and potentially the most Anglo-Saxon I have ever seen.

No Tah.

Them Germans

Back before twitter went evil and bad.

When you take France's individual talent and Messi out of it, it's shocking how similar the possession-dominant teams' attacking patterns are in this tournament

Some Spursian luck for the poor Japanese. I blame Ange on pundit duty.

Another reason I want Japan to win this is because there aren't nearly enough names ending with 'O' in this Brazil squad to convince me it's a real one.

Really want Japan to shithouse this and not just because I got them in the sweepstake and there's £960 in it for me.

What we should see every time the camera pans onto the Japanese dug out.

Bit annoyed about Diomandé but I think it was perhaps naivé to think we were as attractive a club as PSG (especially after the season we had), no matter how many dads and quotes from said dads we dug up.

Japan are a really hard-working and ambitious side but their distribution is awful and it'll be what costs them eventually.

good luck to whoever has to organise his leaving party #thecricket

Wayne Rooney just used the word “unorganisation”. Twenty grand a week.

Watching England games in Italy when they failed to qualify is an interesting experience. Fortunately their english is impeccable in comparison to my suspect italian so I've been able to communicate I'm a club > country sort of fella. Not sure they understand the concept tbh.

When politicians and media say ‘difficult choices’, that’s code for working class people about to be screwed.

This season's smashed glass home kit is most definitely the worst since the heinous designs of the Warrior days. I choose to believe it's price we had to pay to switch managers. We used to appear on live tele in these.

Spence fucking Partey off during the handshakes is my kind of ticket.

I suppose it's a truly grim reflection on the moral standards of footy that we have to ask which of today's games are we referring?

I think Diomandé will happen personally. I just reckon we need to offload a couple of player Iraola doesn't fancy and check a few pockets in the execs lounge for change.

Trump's going to stink out another trophy lift then? If I were captaining any of the realistic winners, I'd make a plan to do a victory leap off the stage with the trophy to see how dedicated to the act he is.

The Crystal Maze to be renewed with immediate effect with Matt Berry hosting. HS2 to operate hypersonic environmentally-friendly steam trains with Hogwarts Express sweets trollies. At least four decent pubs to be built in Everton Valley and Norris Green with IMMEDIATE effect.

Those going to the cinema during the day to be questioned sharpely in relation to Cult Activity. Golf to be outlawed as a means of reducing real life supervillain arcs in their crib. Anyone who dislikes R.E.M to be put under surveillance until such a time that their taste & advice can be trusted.

Public floggings for quiz show contestants who get a question about, say, 1960s music and go 'bit before my time, that'. I wasn't around in the 11th century, mate, but I know when the Battle of Hastings was.

credit to Sally Nugent who just, in normal circumstances, brought Nigel Farage's political career to an end. If polls don't plummet after this, I will be truly astonished.

Ponchos at footy games are only marginal less egregious than suits at footy games. We make fun of the Mancs for just this sort of fan negligence.