would you believe that one of these corporations exams was so penetrating that it woke me from my dogmatic slumber

😂

Jesus Fox News is going to have to black out the entire bottom third of their screen

He looks like he has a favorite artisanal pickle shop in Brooklyn.

looka that big sumbitch one thing better than being a dork is being a dork with a grown-up income

🇸🇪👮🏼 MEANWHILE IN SWEDEN 👮🏼‍♂️🇸🇪

How you doin

I mean, dreamlands aside, he’s not wrong

My injuries are made of pure, unmitigated love.

I really want to do some karate I’ve had a lot of coffee

So, in one of the many separate lives I indulge to escape this lame timeline, I write short stories for a comic magazine, and I illustrate them with drawings. Here’s one I just finished.

😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

Watch this, you'll thank me. I had to google all this to know how much he was really quoting Shakespeare extemporaneously.

The next Kennedy Center Honorees. Then, the Center and its awards will be renamed for a more recent president, the current one, and the woke rainbow ribbon design of the award will be replaced with bedazzled gold lamé.

what's so amusing about this is the suggestion that creating *this*, this hellscape dystopian cesspool, should entitle people to anything

*reads the news* *eyes melt* *pure liquid cortisol sprays from the now-empty sockets*

am i allowed to admit how much i hoped this is true and complain that it isn't

Hey Elon👋🏽 Every single person in this country deserves to know their rights. That's legal. Maybe you should brush up on our laws given the fact you're breaking them to steal American's sensitive data. PS. This video is manipulated, and I wasn't even at the event shown.

He's still at it

Dear Friends: I have some exciting news to share! My Dean finally approved sabbatical funding for completion of my new memoir, “So Many Dumbfucks: A Travelogue of the East-Side Cleveland Commute.”

Trump is an evil man.

Holy shit

Canada and Denmark share a 1.2 km long land border on Hans Island since we ended the Whisky War in 2022. So technically we could join the European Union.

My son made this. It’s called, “Maslow’s Hierarchy of Ohio”

Never realized that tweed-capped kids on the corner yelling "Extra! Extra! Read all about it!" to sell papers would represent an exponentially superior means of informing the public in comparison with what we have now

“Funny how old interests crop up again toward the end of one’s life.” —HP Lovecraft to August Derleth, 1937

HEY MOM WE'RE OUTTA CHIPS

This

How could I never before have noticed that our soy sauce is brewed by rebel scum?

Guest Opinion | The problem with legacy media companies like Disney is they're completely out of touch with how much money is an acceptable bribe to Donald Trump. by Mark Zuckerberg

Explain the gap in my resume? Look, bitch… sorry, may I call you bitch?

😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆 😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆 😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆 😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆 😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆 www.axios.com/2025/01/29/f...

oh my good lord this person is amazing even aside from being hilarious