LOL CANADA LOL CANADA'S CAPTAIN GETTING A FUCKING MISCONDUCT FOR BEING A MASSIVE ASSHOLE

in observance of my having watched entirely too much hockey today (will never happen again), let's all take a moment to remember the time gary roberts got put away for being Too Much Man

lmao what the fuck is this hockey game

why are french hockey terms so fucking technical and stupid sounding lmao

bell will give me crave for free but won't even give me a discount on tsn 😤

me and my dad went into a used bookstore the other day and saw a book of "fresh, untold dad jokes" and my dad was like *scoff* amateurs. only a faux pas would buy that

screaming at the crave ads along the boards at the wjc. IT'S NOT EVEN IN CANADA 😂

bestie is making me watch the juniors now 😭

btw who wants to go see the victoire play the sceptres in toronto on march 3? @kitschful.bsky.social @ghgm.bsky.social

a little bit of hope means you want to know about the world, no matter what it's done to you

You have called to mind my favorite meme

Not sure how bad the deepfake problem is? Read Stella's farewell thread. This is an extreme form of remote sexual harassment that can now be used to target anyone, regardless of platform, in seconds. Despite news stories focusing mostly on CSAM it's still unchecked and rampant on Twitter.

I couldn't imagine having good feelings about hockey again after everything but apparently all I needed was the victoire 🥹

if y'all wanna see a GOOD backhand check out that ot goal mpp just scored 🥳🥳🥳

hey siri is abby roque single does she want to not be single

all the things she said mention 😌

pleased to report that we are not the only ones booing her

rating the weakness of the timbits hockey kids' respective backhands

LET'S GOOOOO

had to look up britta curl's number so we know who to boo this afternoon

and if you're more of a friends to lovers kinda guy, pls know that the captain of the montreal victoire is married to her winger

ME: yeah could i get the impossible burger with cheese. THE VIZIER WHO'S BEEN ADVISING ME: ahh, an excellent choice sire. an imitation of the genuine article. there are some "friends" of yours to whom it bears a passing similarity ME: you want anything VIZIER: [chuckles] what i want is of no import

Got it! With MAJOR thanks to @benpohl.bsky.social and others. The original reference is to JL 4366, in H. Bresslau's Papyrus und Pergament in der päpstlichen Kanzlei bis zur Mitte des 11. Jahrh. published in 1888. BUT he clearly states that the original document is lost! 🧵

I can't sleep because my throat hurts too much 🥲 I'm not even sick, it's just INSANELY dry here

I think it’s because the Gay Military Show is about Being in the Military and the Gay Hockey Show is about Hot Guys Fucking.

Defector once again reflecting how I feel about this show in so many ways.

i feel like i see a lot of "mysterious new account makes big bet on insider information" news stories and not enough people-being-arrested-for-that news stories

Insane flex apnews.com/article/zohr...

This is a dangerous and irresponsible response. Cheering the illegal abduction of a foreign head of state and celebrating U.S. control over another country is wrong. Canada cannot pick & choose when international law applies. If the rules only matter when it’s convenient, they don’t protect anyone

"international law must be followed" is european for "thoughts and prayers"

once again paging @longwhitecoats.bsky.social because I have seen the new knives out, what is up

The social media teams crushing it are the ones leaning in (mostly European) love it:

Dang, I missed the problematic desexing. I was distracted by all the sucking and fucking.

now I can't sleep because it's too hot in here 🥲 WHERE IS THE GOLDILOCKS ZONE

sometimes I’ll make a joke to my wife and she’ll roll her eyes and ask if I’m “gonna post that one on bluesky.” I mean, yes, but her tone is very hurtful

I miss my kitty cats 🥲

This Cat Is Done With Your Shit You will need: -yourself -a cat possessed of finite patience -an abundance of built-up trust between you and the cat, the kind of thing your relationship can fall back on after the game is over -a willingness to suffer needlessly Pick up and annoy the cat. Repeat.

on this first day of the new year, most of my ongoing problems are still my own fault

I FUCKING HOPE SO

A message for you all to carry through the year

yes but also I am begging you not to become an NHL fan

ok but the walk from the spanish steps to the fori imperiali is SO LONG. no one would do that

IT DOESN'T HAVE TO MATCH

we are not in the haberdashery business

all we're missing is the man from uncle on the tv

Happy third birthday to these dingdongs 🥰

I just sniped a kid in Overwatch and he wrote "ohhh Kirked me" and I just found out they're using that as shorthand for a good snipe HOLY SHIT LOL