They made Yzma into a bird!?!?

Here’s to 2026

I've had a beard instead of my usual moustache for the past month or so but after today's discourse I will be reverting back to a proud moustache wearer once again in solidarity

Has woke gone too far?

God give it a rest ye merry gentlemen

Proof that one of my aunties has gone fully insane: giving a three year old a hammer for Christmas She does love it though 🤷🏻‍♂️

Merry Christmas to all the gays in my phone

I must not say fuck in front of my parents I must not say fuck in front of my parents I must not say fuck in front of my parents I must not say fuck in front of my parents I must not say fuck in front of my parents I must not say fuck in front of my parents I must not say fuck in front of my parents

I've been with my parents for 5 minutes and they've already told me about two people (neither of whom I've ever met or known) who've died this week Is part of conversations with your parents after a certain age just like reading an obituary column?? Anyway - Merry Christmas! 🤪

and tiny tim, who was NOT in the epstein files,

Holy shit no 🥺

Day 2 of the Your Party conference

definition from the sketchbook

I hope the many disastrous economic crises looming on the horizon all happen at once and this happens

It's hotter than the sun

Fun new game: eat an edible when you have laundry and cooking to do and see if you can finish it all before it hits and you're catatonic

The Witcher isn't quite the same now Henry Cavill is gone, but Liam Hemsworth is doing a far better job at being Geralt than I expected, and whoever is choreographing the fight scenes is absolutely inspired

I hear Peter Mandelson is also currently looking for work

CDC Figures It Easier To Start Tracking People Without Measles

My facial hair is gone and my vibes are all off for like two weeks now

Went to change an old username on an account to match most of my others and it had been taken by some fucking rat swiftie with zero followers or posts Some days I really do hate that my surname is also the first name of one of the most famous and rabidly followed people in the world

I fucking knew it.

Born on this day, 69 years ago. Carrie Frances Fisher 🎂 #CarrieFisher

The entire business model seems to be "we've made an app where your phone talks to you as if it's desperate to let you know how happy it is to be serving such a pathetic idiot"

I love Guillermo del Toro calling ages 19 to 29 "sublime confusion"

Close! But I'm pretty sure it's this guy

I hear you like a man in uniform

golden age

RIP Drew Struzan

Give him three days and ask him again

What five events defined your childhood? 1. Diana's death 2. Kylie Minogue - Can't Get You Out of My Head 3. 9/11 4. Invasion of Afghanistan 5. The Fellowship of the Ring What's more surprising to me is that numbers 2-5 all took place in 2001

I regret to inform you a second Labubu has hit Karl Marx's grave

Dr. Jane Goodall filmed an interview with Netflix in March 2025 that she understood would only be released after her death.

- Reverend? I swallowed a paperclip! - Read your bible, Ned - Any particular passage? - Oh... it's all good

Today I have been suffering with Sweaty Bitch Disease, for which there is no known cure

Leaked Upcoming Labour Policies: - Jaywalkers to pay for NHS treatment - Landlords get tax break after their 3rd holiday - Reeves to unveil monument/replica of £50bn black hole (public urged to drop in cash to help with gvt finances) - Restart HS2 Euston to Dover (to help transport migrants to EU)

Fascinating that people were wrong about the rapture again. Who could have guessed? Especially when the bible explicitly has that passage saying about "nobody will know the day nor the hour". No way to know if they'll get the date right next time though. Best of luck!

Sunning myself on a Spanish beach, I have just locked eyes with a topless female clone of Patton Oswalt. Neither of us knew what to do.

There is something deliciously cunty about wearing sunglasses at night with an all black outfit

Isn’t science amazing?

this is, hands down, the best video I've seen on men's influencer content and it's not close either

hey I know the spelling bee is fun but it’s keeping this kinda shit afloat so maybe time to divest

walked past two women as one was saying to the other "she spent her student loan on her toes!" and I'm now captivated, what does that mean, what could it possibly mean

I need the guy opposite me on this train to turn off the teams notification sound on his laptop as I'm still on annual leave and I don't appreciate the flashes of work panic it's giving me on my journey home

The day will come when I successfully open a new bottle of Listerine by simply pulling the perforated tab down without it fucking up the entire wrapper

It's simple, we turn off the Internet.

Sad to hear the news of Terence Stamp passing away. His portrayal of Bernadette in ‘Priscilla’ (along with Olympia Dukakis’ portrayal of Anna Madrigal) was pivotal to my teenage understanding of trans people as just everyday human beings. I know we (rightly) challenge cis people taking trans roles…