curious about great sentences y'all've read online that have outlived their original subject or context (brought to you by the opening and closing sentences of @ftrain.bsky.social's google+ explanation sticking in my mind in a way that has maybe defined my career) www.ftrain.com/woods-plus

aggressive drivers HATE this one weird trick (being a pedestrian in a crosswalk with an elderly dog)

menopause speedrun any%

before i figure out how to write a poem about it, a skeet about the time the work inbox got one of these scammy emails directed to samuel beckett, which remains my second favorite work inbox email of all time after “it never mentions that ts eliot was a huge fan of the miami dolphins”

happy dave’s birthday season to us all, why not celebrate with a donation to a great local org?

This appears to, uh, still be happening! Plus the paperback is also like 3 bucks!

look upon my works, ye skeetsfolk, and just chill

you can do a little lunch break orville peck cosplay. it’s free and the cops can’t stop you

lake michigan polycule rise up (the lake is my beautiful aquatic girlfriend)

for real though happy Great Lakes Awareness Day. your life will be improved if you are aware of the Great Lakes and most especially Lake Michigan my beloved

writing and reading in chicago kicks ass imo! come to @tuesdayfunk.bsky.social tomorrow and toast with us 🍻

…and that’s how i learned “aubade” isn’t in the ios transcription dictionary and/or siri doesn’t understand my very mild southern accent

THESE COLORS DON’T RUN 😤 …but they do fuck 😉

Rae Armantrout

Another great day to remember everything dope about America comes from Chicago.

someone who is good at the economy help me come up with a mathematical formula for how divorced i need to be before it is emotionally safe to listen to the great album “the meadowlands” by the wrens

PSA for my fellow denizens of the beans and #bikechi fandoms… fillo’s walking tamales are back in the aldi finds aisle for half the price of anywhere else. load up your jersey pockets and lmk if you know anyone who works there who wants to sponsor my team 😎

you’re telling me these peaches saw nine inch noize bruh?!

reposting with alt text; most of my political and spiritual views are indeed encapsulated in “ray gets a little stoned”

…and that’s how i learned that ios text replacement shortcuts are case sensitive, by yelling and being normal to my loved ones

no discourse just remembering when they put the cool noise band fuck buttons in the olympics

sara is right and we should all be saying it and living it

Life gets easier when you realize most people are just making it up as they go.

oh no i forgot to add “as if i was perpetrating the lesbian heist in the darude sandstorm music video,” i have unforgivably diluted my brand

you must always picture me zooming up on a sensible steel frame bike to kiss the city of chicago on the mouth

choosing to feel accomplished that it’s taken me like 15 years of regularly transporting canned and bottled beverages in my panniers to explode a beer can in there instead of annoyed that i must now clean stale beer out of the ol’ ortliebs

ok sorry but i got too hella caffeinated by mistake and must revive #coldbrewhottakes to say: independent bookstore day is every week if you fricken budget for it! i love and am fortunate to live around hella bookstores and doing a big crowded crawl between em is a nightmare, to me

self reskeet for the weekend crew

incredible news, a new @themountaingoats.bsky.social tour date in chicagoland means i gotta make a new installment of the tiny highly specific fanzine “my dog only listens to the mountain goats,” what mountain goats songs should i expose this perfect creature to between now and june 26?

is “i would beg to disagree but begging disagrees with me” the greatest chiasmus in all of popular music? signs point to yes

found where you post from

the “who is she” vine but the reveal is HER

well while i have your attention with my shitposts why not spare a few bucks to help my sweetie afford her face bone surgery? DM me your address and receipt and i’ll send you a postcard with thanks!! assuming the US mail still works!!! gofund.me/4dcaabdfc

“i asked claude” ok well i went to the doctor and i went to the mountains, i looked to the children and i drank from the fountains, so who’s closer to fine now bitch?!

how did the small cat become a jumbo shrimp, the science is still out on this matter

How many public bathrooms could we keep absolutely sparkling clean 24 hours a day for $58.8 million? news.wttw.com/2026/04/13/c...

👏 iphone👏 that 👏fits👏 in 👏small 👏adult👏 hands 👏and👏 pockets 👏and👏 never 👏has 👏liquid 👏glass‼️

acab today and every day 🫡

4/20 repost your favorite weed vine challenge who up m.youtube.com/watch?v=g6cI...

bruh what does this ad copy even mean. are ad copywriters okay. jk i know y’all are having your jobs devoured by slop, be safe out there from robots and insecure men i guess?!

ok dweebs where do ambient music dweebs buy records in new york city these days?

i believe it was the prophet cher who wisely foretold... "I Am Going to Shoot My Phone with a Gun"

“pet all the animals that are safe to pet” is a useful sentiment for these times

i promise i am not subskeeting anyone here when i must say that my job presents me with unparalleled opportunities to be a hater

fun PSA, if you kick your car door open into a bike lane without checking whether bikes are coming i will astrally project to your location to yell at you

getting word that they are suspending my poetic license because it took me too long between buying lesbian flag themed shoelaces and thinking of the phrase “dykey nikes”

what is guy in the corner of the party meme called and is there already one for me at the gym captioned “they don’t know i’m listening to 100 gecs’ 2019 debut album ‘1000 gecs’”

One of the hardest things to get across to most software people with great intentions is *how strong defaults are* and how tired everyone else is of dorking around trying to get things to work, but this understanding is the thing that made Apple, for all its many flaws, such a giant.

“a group of moths is called an eclipse & there’s the terror i was after” thebaffler.com/poems/theres...

birds turning around in circles. rt if u agree