withdrawal sickness

embargo lifted its HYPE TIME come catch me at GMan Tavern on Sunday, August 9th for 20x2 Chicago! This is an incredibly deep and stacked lineup and I am so thrilled to be able to share this stage with these amazing creatives.

call me JFKette the way this brainworm just entered my skull at supersonic speeds and painted the shower with my gray matter

got thru two weekend night shifts bartending without smoking, for the first time ever. Thursday and Friday night shifts usually have lots of huge anxiety triggers for me, and I was super nervous about it. but then I remembered: oh shit eri, u have a prescription for anxiety! just do ur ketamine!

#hersoup and #womeninsoup ok remember these algorithms ok. they WILL save u one day

with the first overall pick in the 2026 MLB draft, the Chicago White Sox have selected: the girl reading this 💕

when he looks at the camera and says "good boy" to the cameraman I nearly came on the spot youtube.com/shorts/6tY23...

you ever walk into a bar and the vibes are rancid and the bartender is pleading for u to stay but the vibes are rancid so u hurry the fuck up on out of there

turned around from polishing glassware and Chaser Jake was right across from me seated at the bar looking square at me

(talking with my fantasy football league [I am three years younger than them]) "eri don't get old. my knees failed, my back failed, my ears are failing." "my fuckin gender failed but you don't see me complaining."

the duality of woman

Berlin/Danish French Style Hot Dog

seattle dog and anything with ketchup are pretty fuckin awful but the New Jersey Ripper Dog is one of the top 5 worst things I've ever put in my mouth

quote this skeet with the WORST toppings/preparation styles for a hot dog so we can all commiserate

anyone getting laid too much and need some help

1. Chicago Dog 2. Maxwell Street Polish style (yellow mustard, caramelized onion) 3. Chicago dog with kraut 4. Maxwell Street with kraut 5. chili dog with cheese 6. Sonoran 7. plain

correct.

ortolan inversion where i cover my face with a cloth to hide my shame from the birds as i devour god

it's giving fish

u ever audio record the sound of you stirring fresh homemade tuna salad to incorporate everything together and then send it to a girl to flirt with her? no? just me?

so this is not even in the top 100 knock-on effects of the shittiness of the day but I had been using its name as a sort of semi-exasperated "so it goes" for a solid 2-3 years before I knew it existed and man, reflexively saying that's gonna have a whole different weight to it now

dear girl wearing red at dolls night last night who said "I really like what you've been doing with staples recently" I am so sorry but I do not know who you are can you please say hi so I can connect a profile to a person tysm

last night was really weird but Iooked really pretty so.

"Malört is designed to lower your cortisol and balance your gut health"

when I finally die, don't let them bury me beneath the dirt. turn my bones into windchimes, so I can sing with the summer breeze. let my voice carry out forever; a remembrance of defiant joy, in a world that would see me silent.

i think my tan lines are starting to fade what do u think

anyways I got my bibrows done today yay

eyebrows that give "idc dude I just love giving head" bibrows

KMFDESM

I cannot even begin to describe how easily this guy could hit it with me. permanent bootycall speed dial potential

star chart but it's inbox names and inbox organization

it's so interesting seeing what email addresses people choose for themselves, like. of course you're CorpseMosher666. of course you're firstinitial-lastname-birthdate. of course you're all "howdy!".

Chicago is the greatest city in the world

*me, dusting off the Fell For It Again Award* I should just give the cute boy at the noodle shop my phone number. even if we just get cocktails and talk about mixology, he's really sweet and I'd like to know him better. *my Fell For It Again Award, rubbing its ribbons together*: yesss. yyeeeeeessss

transit card model for the Rosewood Area Transit System (RATS) (it's not a backronym either)

DAWG WE'RE DOING STATE-RUN GAS PRICES AT PRICE CONTROLLED RATES DESPITE INCREASING SHORTAGES TO PACIFY THE PEOPLE AND THEY'RE SCREAMING ABOUT HOW THEIR OPPONENTS WANT COMMUNISM I AM GOING TO LOSE MY ENTIRE GODDAMN MIND

salmon with rhubarb emulsion; charred heirloom tomato with cultured butter; rustic sourdough

Secret Life Of Pets 3 needs to be set in Chicago The City and it needs to follow around a bunch of transsexual therians as they all go over to each others apartments

my catboy daughter asked to watch Secret Life Of Pets 2 and it takes place in New York The City and he is asking me every fifteen seconds "can we go there when we go to New York The City" and it's just people's apartments

50 hours no cigs no vapes everyone say "yes yes eri that is how the linear progression of time works"

duck egg crème brûlée, fresh vanilla

can't believe they made my fetish into a game

I just finished talking with Mitch McConnell and he said "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OH FUCK ITS SO HOT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO MY EYELIDS GOD PLEASE IM SORRY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

anyone want this electric organ I think it's free

salmon with rhubarb emulsion; charred heirloom tomato with cultured butter; rustic sourdough

embargo lifted its HYPE TIME come catch me at GMan Tavern on Sunday, August 9th for 20x2 Chicago! This is an incredibly deep and stacked lineup and I am so thrilled to be able to share this stage with these amazing creatives.

Coming up Aug. 9! 20x2 Chicago: Where Did You Come From? Full details and tickets here: 20x2.org/chicago/

bain-marie would be a beautiful name for a girl