oh the girls Horny at dolls night tonite

girl named Arby short for My Arby's Order Is Two Beef & Cheddar Doubles with Extra Arby's Sauce, One Curly Fries, And A Large Dr. Pepper No Ice

omw to be the hottest bitch at family christmas 🤭

bluesky no, but probably around a dozen people's twitter story

women are scared of me and I can't stop laughing about it

it's almost the New Year which means time to start doing new things. might I suggest picking up the habit of reading gay transsexual poetry? you can order a copy of Marrow now and set yourself up for a year of lovely gay transsexual poetry!!! forms.gle/xNGYaNtkexwa...

sometimes when I get sad I watch the CIA Waterboard Sommalier on Instagram and imagine that it was me

thinking again about how when I said "god I want a beautiful woman two to four inches shorter than me wearing a pantsuit to waterboard me while acting disaffected and bored" I had so many women go "hi I will happily do this" and now it's been two months no waterboarding :((((

"you couldn't waterboard that out of me" girl if an older woman asked you nicely you'd confess to doing 9/11

Kinda nuts that I can just pluck people out of the website aether and turn them into important figures in my real life

legit completely forgot I am nominated for three awards in the Chicago Reader lmao

okay voting!! you can vote at the following link: chicagoreader.com/best-of-chic... I would be deeply honored if you would consider voting for: -Best New Poetry Collection: Marrow by eri lucia kapling Best Poet: eri lucia kapling Best Zine: MY FRIENDS, MY ENEMIES by eri lucia kapling

okay hi it's eri *deep breath* I am so so thrilled to announce that I am a FINALIST for Chicago Reader's Best Of 2025 awards in three categories: -Best New Poetry Collection: Marrow by eri lucia kapling -Best Poet: eri lucia kapling -Best Zine: MY ENEMIES, MY FRIENDS by eri lucia kapling

oooooops I forgot to check my Marrow online order form all month and I have like 20 outstanding orders that I need to invoice and collect and ship 🙃🙃

having to explain to people that the person running a public harassment campaign against me is doing so because she's upset that the consequence for threatening to kill yourself in my bar is that you're no longer allowed in my bar, is exactly how I wanted to spend my Christmas 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

oops *exfoliates your gock* oops *exfoliates your gock* oops *exfoliates your gock* oops *exfoliates your gock* oo

sorry babe, I hee hee'd when I meant to hoo hoo

critics are calling it: the song of a generation

gonna be a real biche about this from now on

please do not refer to me as chat. I am a biche. it's kinda my whole thing

Merry Christmas 🦌🔔💖 #art #Christmas #ChristmasArt #reindeer

THIS DISH CANNOT BE FOUND is a zine by eri lucia kapling all ab share.google/B7BG40CzSLNj...

dad misspelled my name on my Christmas gift 🙃

Polyamorous people be like “all I want for Christmas is Y’all”

sister (sorority) not sister (folgers) dw bestie

folger's incest commercial "you're my present this year 🥰" as she ties my wrist and ankle restraints together with a pretty bow

"25 minutes in st. louis", a harrowing airport drama about the maximum amount of time anyone can tolerate being in st. louis

to all my trans brothers and sisters for whom this holiday makes us into non-newtonian fluids, those who must remain soft and pliable to fit into the molds our families force upon us while also strong enough to endure the punches that force us into those molds: you are not alone. and you are loved.

last year for Christmas my parents got me, a woman who has been wearing makeup for nineteen years, a set of professional makeup lessons from a cis gay man and I guess I took it VERY personally.

puppies and pals, I am pleased to announce I KEPT UP WITH GRANDPA

explain your username 🎤 My porn stage name is/was Anna Valkyrie, which is based loosely on Johanna, the name I used when I first came out

Explain your username🎤 Multiple people have had trouble calling me Tully because its hard to annunciate for them, and many have just started calling me Tulip instead, which makes me very happy

explain ur username🎤 iminlikewithyou was the original name for the now defunct online gaming site OMGPOP & i snagged the name for (what was planned to be) my debut record. just kinda covers all grounds of my love for pop/romance/abandonware/nostalgia/00's era superflat chic. the .cool is bc funny

PRESENT DAY PRESENT...TIME!

deer

I keep finding eyelash glue in my eyebrow from Sunday night AAGH

today's vibe is ass

explain your username 🎤 deer ears

cat is outta the bag baby this humble sheep is scoring films nowios

outback steakhouse: when you're here, you're oily

outback steakhouse "no rules just right" INCORRECT there is one rule it is: more oil. this dish needs more oil. how do we get more oil into this dish. the dish needs oiling. oil ur food more. get oily with it. Oil me up, baby

oh my god how do I pick one. organizing a music festival? pursuing poetry professionally? publishing a zine under my name about the psychology of women hurting me?

everyone is always like "when u become a mom u won't get a full night's sleep again for eighteen years" and obviously that's not true. I wasn't getting a full night's sleep before I became a mom too.

laboratory experiment: what if eri got a full night's sleep for three nights

mommoding (running on four hours of sleep)

cocktails with one of my oldest friends <3 @asteriaelzea.bsky.social here's to 15 beautiful years in each other's lives

fave pic of 2025 🦌🦌

Krystal Swords 2025 Makeup Looks: A Retrospective In Twenty Parts (thread continues below)

i think before they let you purchase a video game you should have to prove that you have sex regularly

THIS MIX IS SO FUCKIN GOOD Y'ALL. SPIN IT WHILE YOU GO ABOUT UR DAY AND FIND URSELF DANCING AT ALL MOMENTS