please… my reginos… they are very sick

free-range organic intelligence, grown with ample access to the outdoors

don’t worry! we’ll keep enough money unburned to pay our generous executive salaries

pleased to announce that my company is pivoting to burning shareholder money in an empty oil drum

sorry but I only use small-batch artisanal intelligence

sometimes we take the science fiction present we’re living in for granted. what do you MEAN a photo I take on my phone is instantly available on my computer. do you realise what a fuckin’ hassle that shit was just a few years ago

damn it my Kindle is one year too knew. I was hoping this was my excuse to finally buy a Kobo but I can’t get rid of a perfectly functional device to do it

someone keeps leaving a Lime scooter in front of my garage (blocking the footpath too) and if it happens again I think I’ll start putting them inside my garage and charging Lime for their release

Were Were those the only two options

it took a while but the fancy squeeze bottle oil brands have made it here & instagram is pushing them to me *hard*. thanks but olive oil was already expensive enough I reckon

I misread the headline as one movie and got very excited for a moment…

Man Who Threw Molotov Cocktail At Sam Altman’s Home Claims He Was Following ChatGPT Recipe For Risotto https://theonion.com/man-who-threw-molotov-cocktail-at-sam-altmans-home-claims-he-was-following-chatgpt-recipe-for-risotto/

Hey, look at Substack promoting Andrew Tate as the #1 new bestseller. The company's amoral leadership & backers will platform anyone, even ludicrously toxic rapists & human traffickers.

"Tankies" is a derogatory term for diehard fans of Thomas the Tank Engine

operation elaborate solo dinner was an unqualified success (fried chicken sandwich on a homemade milk bun with kewpie, red onion, shredded iceberg, bacon, cheese & Linghams with tater tots and homemade pickles on the side)

phase 1 of operation elaborate solo dinner is complete

startup pitch: we take the Samsung approach to “enhancing” photos of the moon and apply it to photos of food. all your food ‘gramming will look studio perfect

it’s hurting my brain to watch the genuinely affecting speeches from the Artemis II astronauts about the uniqueness of Earth and humanity in the knowledge that we’re also just routinely fucking murdering each other for ideological reasons

no one in the group has acknowledged my comment. I assume Meta is shadowbanning me for being too funny

my family have gone away so you know what that means: time to spending all day making an overcomplicated dinner for one

first in my bloodline to see someone get excommunicated by a community note

some days you have to make your own fun

listen I support all of our hardworking medical professionals implicitly but sometimes I feel like the feeling isn’t mutual

ok. so. as someone who has seen a Seal before, I just have a quick question. what are you talking about

I can't stop laughing at this post. It's perfect.

I like to look up the cast of my sad man solves crime tv shows while I’m watching but it backfires when the cast list gives away a damn plot point

I knew someone who touched grass and he said it was slimy and something in the grass bit his hand

guys Homegrown is shit this year. I haven’t recognised a single one of the songs. also does any know what time Shihad is playing

there are too many variations of soup and most of them are bad

a fucked up thing about every global crisis we have is that it’s always the little people bearing the financial cost. it’s individuals & small businesses who are told to tighten their belts. meanwhile supermarkets & oil companies etc put their prices up at the mere suggestion of inconvenience

about time someone called that motherfucker out

being on that website in the golden age was... you saw your friends and peers inventing a new language, a new way to be creative, a new way to think, and it was all happening right where you lived. a shame that it hastened the end of the world,

developing a theory that the problem with unfettered firearms ownership is people are less willing to contradict an obvious dickhead if that dickhead might be carrying a gun. therefore dickheads develop an undue confidence in their own abilities. this isn’t about any country in particular

I just tried to "up dog" my seven year old nephew. "hey, do you have up dog?" Him: "Yeah!" And runs off to his room. He comes back with a toy: the dog from "Up". "it's the Up Dog" Damn he got me

the next mentoring day has been canceled

we’ve noticed quite a lot of relationships fall apart when someone in the family is diagnosed with a serious illness & I’m increasingly convinced it’s because many men can’t handle not being the main character

no matter how you feel about AI, no you don’t

seems like you understand it pretty good

We are so, so small. #Artemis

My shower in Malaysia has an option I don't really want to try

"What you feel in your heart towards the series is almost entirely irrelevant. What matters is what you do, because J. K. Rowling is out there doing a lot of things...Nothing is adequate to the situation except the truth. There is no way to watch the new Harry Potter show subversively"

we’re pretty close to Zealandia and many people in our area are quite anti-feline, ostensibly for bird reasons. however in recent weeks as we head into winter our 1-year old cat has been bringing us several rodents a day. our GoodNature traps could never

guys, bluesky is dying. if we don't start getting more likes, a greedy developer will bulldoze the site to put up a parking garage. the only thing that can save it is for a ragtag crew of misfits to put on one last big concert at the community center.

NASA’s Earth photos from Artemis inspired me to put this on today… 🙂 Getting lots of positive comments on it as I run errands…

I’m putting my clock back one decade tonight. Fuck it

good afternoon to everyone except the adult man at Armageddon in Ravenclaw robes. I bet the many queer people at the convention were absolutely delighted to see you

ugh I look horrible plz delete