The three most remarkable papal tweets — ever?

tbh i want joe rogan to be politically homeless; he’s obscenely wealthy with totally incoherent low information politics, i don’t *want* there to be a party for him

Holy shit the Bee found a 2nd joke and it kinda works

Let's back up for a moment. I work in a hospital lab. Wouldn't you find it odd if I had a strong opinion about the hospital's food order or Nephrology's catheter placement protocol or ER's CPR policy, etc. etc. etc?

There are a lot of things the left thinks you technically have the freedom to do, but ought not. But I happen to think the specific things being marginalized matter quite a lot!

This is literally, and I cannot stress this enough, LITERALLY, what is prohibited by the commandment not to use the name of God in vain. To not profane it by claiming it for vainglorious purposes.

The horror of sitting across from a Trump voter is the realization that they do not believe in universal human rights. Simple as. They believe in a tiered, racist and patriarchical system of humanity, and they're voting to ensure they remain at the top of it.

The "duped voter" narrative is a comforting myth. If only we had better messaging. The reality is tens of millions of voters looked at a platform of mass deportation, ethnic cleansing, state violence, and the dismantling of civil rights, clearly understood it, and said, "Yes, that is what I want."

"i didn't vote for this"

Call it what you want, EHS, but your monthly scheduled downtime is never Epic.

This is the correct position.

call for an investigation into the president's fitness. call for the house to impeach. say you will obstruct every last bit of senate business. call for soldiers to disregard illegal orders. say you will prosecute the people who do this. say you will take their military pensions and benefits.

yeah, all these other countries will try to grab Nobelists, but no one’s gonna take the whole chemistry department of the University of Montana.

My parents got this for me in 2006. I changed the hardware, the nut, and the bridge. The finish has aged, and it has wear from my specific playing. I finally understand the appeal of vintage instruments. #guitarsky

ok using your last words before you go around the far side of the moon to remind humanity to love your neighbors is goated

Me, joking: I can’t believe we chose “destroying the economy” and “losing wars” over “being nice to trans people occasionally” Conservatives, dead serious: it was a tough choice, but I’m glad we picked “destroying the economy” and “losing wars” over “being nice to trans people occasionally”

Do horses want cake? We conducted an investigation into statements published by @bencollins.bsky.social in the print edition of @theonion.com.

We have some new person in the chaplain's office at the hospital and yesterday they put out rubber Jesus figurines around the whole hospital, and today they came into the lab DRESSED AS THE FUCKING EASTER BUNNY!!

There is no future for humanity in which the basic conditions for life for millions of people can be destroyed on one person’s whim.

Once again thanking every dipshit who voted for him, because he has been like this for years, and has always pulled this shit when everyone else is just trying to have a peaceful weekend.

Took the boy to a meet-the bany-animals event. This is apparently what turkey chicks look like. The farmer told me they couldn't be let out for pets, because they can fly already.

Awesome

Indiana energy bosses really reading the global room here lately 🙄 "For now, NIPSCO says it’s maintaining its operations with non-represented employees, contractors and support from its “family of companies.”"

Elbowing my buddy in the ribs: "I know her!"

You can tell my brain is cooked because my immediate reaction to seeing this was, "Oh yeah, that's Trump's toilet grifter guy."

you don’t have to know much world history to look at this map and immediately see why the entire western hemisphere has birthright citizenship

I hate that my civil rights hinge on whether there is sufficient conflict between the different types of paleocon weirdos that comprise this Court. No one should have to think about these people and their nonsense rationales for building an ugly society.

The fact that Trump is going to oral arguments to pressure the justices to acquiesce to his attempted nullification of a constitutional amendment and create a stateless class for the first time since the civil war, illustrates what is really at the core of the Trump project and it isn’t tariffs.

Lmao the State will have to either let this stand as reasonable doubt, or actually admit that ballistics, like almost all forensic science, is augury.

If you use one of the big tax services, you've seen Trump's name all over your taxes this year. I didn't realize one of the things in his budget bill was a thing literally called Trump Credits. I'm shocked that I'm still shocked by the gall.

I remember getting roomed with an evangelical at a camp as a teen and getting roped into his prayer group. He insisted we should have the door open so people could witness and be converted or whatever, and I was like, "Hey what about Matthew 6:5?" We read it and he grumbled and closed the door.

If a mugger robs a man at knife point, and you watch the man smash the mugger's face with a hammer repeatedly, and then the man hunts down and kidnaps the mugger's kids, and starves them in his basement, and your response is, "the man had a right to defend himself," you are a psychopath.

I genuinely think the president and many of his advisers, scammers, hustlers, and keyboard gangsters, don’t understand this concept at all and you can see it in the pattern of their mistakes from Minneapolis to Tehran www.nytimes.com/2026/03/29/o...

Everything anyone needed to know about the guy was settled decades ago, and has been routinely dismissed by "serious" publicly figures as being trite. Trump bankrupted a casino. This is casino bankruptcy behavior.

So I looked and Graham Platner is 41. Have we considered just telling him he can re-enlist and get back to doing what he loves best?

We have 2 cool shirts! I have to sell them out by early April for 2 reasons: 1) 5 of my family members are staying in the Skype a Scientist stockroom in mid-April 😅 2) I need to fund our mural project which starts the first week of April! They're soft! They're cute! Get a shirt! SquidFacts.net

In fairness it’s not like the consequences of having a mad king unilaterally take the country to war on a whim were so incredibly obvious that you could see it coming from the 18th and 19th centuries www.theatlantic.com/ideas/2026/0...

It is literally my birthright. And she can't have it.

I don't think people fully appreciate how apocalyptic things are for US science. I haven't had any new funding since 2024, but I'm still ok since typical grants are for three years. This means next year I will be completely out of funding and will have to fire everyone in the lab. It's not great.

Shout out to this guy in Selena's "Bidi Bidi Bom Bom" video who was grooving like no one has seen. I hope my man's thriving.

Live look at my son, multiple times a day.

On the one hand, Christianity shouldn't be able to hide from its participation in heinous crimes with a "no true scotsman" argument. On the other, I have no idea how you can say Potteiger practices Christianity in any meaningful way when it's this divorced from any intelligible form of Christianity.

The mask is completely off. You can’t meet these people in the middle. We’re not working toward the same goals. They hate America. They hate democracy. They hate freedom. And they hate you.

Today in, "the concerns of conservatives are fake and stupid," a helpful reminder - they all think sex trafficking is carried out by swarthy, menacing villains forcing little white girls onto commerical planes under duress, and that just simply does not happen. They live in a horrific fantasyland.

They are both holding their vests as if they're backpack straps, almost certainly out of habit, because that's exactly what they were doing 6 weeks ago.

"I can't believe you put thousand island on a burger, man. McDonald's invented that."

This is why I unapologetically tell the economics students to change their major to something respectable.

RIP to the guy who bet the republic on Americans being able to understand subtext in the written word.