I bet shrubs taste good as fuck if you're a goat

Ugh, sliced my palm while cutting up some buns for dinner. Not super deep but it hurts like hell every time I move it

getting home from the bar like:

I really need to get back into reading more so I got an e-reader and set myself goal of 50 books this year

Despite all my gen x jokes I don't think it's actually useful or insightful to generalize whole generations. That said, if your bio is like 'gen x, certified troublemaker, sarcastic AF' I am calling the police.

This GB/MN game sure is a Week 18 game between 2 teams with nothing to play for

it's just gonna keep getting worse, huh?

And I don’t want to sound conspiratorial, but if they feel like they can do this in Venezuela without any serious consequences, they’re absolutely going to try it in Cuba too.

Me normally vs me when a Dutchman is popping off

Nothing xenophobic about posting a picture of a muslim man holding the statue of liberty's head drenched in blood next to the words "Death to America" though, huh?

Just found my earbud's tip after it was missing for a week!

Bill Watterson could do Sin City but Frank Miller could not do Calvin and Hobbes

There have been no good reasons for staying on Twitter for years now, but at this point you will have to follow up any of your remaining excuses with “…and I don’t care about the child pornography.”

It’s too late, I have already portrayed myself as Chortling Bernie and you as Seething Eric Adams

Clayton Tune?

Fuck Wildman Whitehouse. All my homies hate Wildman Whitehouse.

Stranger Things Season 5 "Chapter Eight: The Rightside Up". Directed by The Duffer Brothers

You're almost dead and you want to talk? Get healed and leave me be.

i do find it a fascinating assumption rightwingers are making that they should be able to walk into any daycare center and observe random peoples children whenever they want

The final Calvin and Hobbes, which appeared in papers 30 years ago today.

Why is the art in political cartoons so agressively shitty?

RIP to a legend

Trump guys are about to Comet Pizza every third daycare center because they think they are all fronts for Somali money laundering. They're only doing this near cities with progressive mayors. This is straight up Government by LibsOfTikTok.

RIP Mike F, one of the greatest to ever do it

Packers are fucked, season's over

Liberals, everyone!

Powerscaling is OUT! Detectivescaling is IN!

my cat is so soft

Big if true

Look, I'm sure that Nolan's adaptation of "The Odyssey" will be fun, but I highly doubt it will be as good as the original.

Got a couple tubs of fancy, locally-made mustard and the Master and Commander UHD Steelbook

Wat Tambor would never

I'm hearing that Elvis was in the Epstein files

Bolsonaro's version of a conjugal visit is going to the hospital to get his bowels roto-rootered on a regular basis. *BOLSONARO'S LAWYERS REQUEST HIS ADMISSION ON WED. FOR SURGERY

No force on Earth can keep that man out of the hospital

Starting to think Donald Trump might be a pedophile

Very funny that for years Nicki Minaj has been a go-to example for right wingers talking about "worthless degenerate modern music" but now they have to pretend they like her. At least with Kanye I could believe some of them liked his music before he went crazy.

How can people hate Avatar when it correctly predicts that hysterically masculine Operator culture is going to last at least another 150 years? My man's marrying a 19 year old space-stripper and buying a hover-Dodge Charger.

Just watched Fire and Ash and folks, it's good. Jim did it again.

At least I can always just watch dinosaur videos on youtube

Blocking Bears fans just to feel something

I'll cope by saying the Bears only won because like 90% of the Packers staters are injured. Good job, you beat up a guy in a wheelchair.

At the very least this was the first Packers/Bears game that felt like an actual rivalry game in my lifetime

coulda taken that field goal on the first drive...