The top shortage was a myth all along

These fucking compression pants will be the end of me 5 days down, 6-8 weeks to go 🙃

2025: no don't get the breast aug ur so hot ahaha 2026: no don't get the collarbone surgery ur so hot ahaha forever war: no don't get bottom surgery ur so hot ahaha stop denying others autonomy because you think it would make them less attractive we exist for US not for YOU. holy shit

Hey you should block bsky.app/profile/atti..., it’s bsky new ai bot

Puppygirl who uses /paws instead of /pos

Transfixed? I sure hope she is

Ive god good news about my girlfriend for you, airport signage

before dog surgery u have to do growl prep. thank you

they thought i was a hitchhiker

Being polysaturated is when you have so many girlfriends that yoh start running out of little chores to make them do

your dick has a pencil eraser my dick is protected by a chaser

IT wanted to remote into my computer to troubleshoot an issue. The pop-up on my screen asking for permission asked if I wanted to "Consent to control" I cant handle this first thing on a Monday

Deer girl with freckles who calls them "deer spots"

Yamsterdam

Theyre also some of the primary picking-girls-up muscles.

the Great Schism is also what I’m going to call my pussy someday

Just scheduled a date where we are both doing ketamine therapy intake telehealth appointments during the date Love being t4t

BREAST AUG ROUND 1 SCHEDULED MARCH 31ST THATS LITERALLY 2 WEEKS FROM NOW WTF AHHHHHHH

Deodorant is just a chastity cage for scent girls

"i don't speak bottom" im sorry but MAYBE you could learn a few phrases? why are people in this country PROUD of not being bilingual

how can you fit multiple loads into the washing machine at once? you wash the cum rag 🤪

babe ..... is my pokesona cunty enough

i'm surprised more deergirls don't like judas priest because i'm like 75% sure turbo lover starts with rob singing about how he's gonna hit you with his car

Not being able to post my silly little pictures is kinda killing me tbh, need to figure this shit out

chaser on angel grindr: can you heavenly host

i just told leona "whatever you hear you must not open this door" then closed the door and blasted circus music

When your brain insists you wear the same thing every day, thats the autfit

The only suffering a woman should go through is what she goes through for me

Gaslight gatekeep girlsauce

[𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘣𝘢𝘭 𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘵] yeah lemme get the ma'am over rice

go ahead.... i'm glistening

Hangover but from crying, does this have a name

The only way to see a hot bitch in the mirror is to put her there

Y'ALL a customer i've been working with for a year asked me today, "this is going to be your first mother's day, right?" me, very confused, "oh! ha! i've got some adorable nephews.... and she goes, "i thought you went out on mat leave last year." SHE THOUGHT MY BOTTOM SURGERY WAS MAT LEAVE LMAO

Running a train on a robot girl, call that a DDOS attack

Why are they called boobs? No one is booing when they see them. They should be called yaybs

italian tboy on pestosterone

"Skirt go spinny" is just the training for the inevitable "tail go swishy"

this is your brain. this is your brain on hypno

"Skirt go spinny" is just the training for the inevitable "tail go swishy"

Gun safes are just chastity cages for snuff girls

telling a really kinky puppygirl for the millionth time that im not going to take her to a kill shelter no matter how many times she begs

To me it’s actually just international regular day. That’s how woman my mind has become

"Pal incest" is whatever Mario and Luigi have going on

When your they/them girlfriend is fucking your it/its girlfriend who struggles to reach orgasm: "Theyll never see it coming"

Showing my breast augmentation doctor a clip of a Kill la Kill kamui transformation sequence and letting them take it from there

intox sizeplay where a woman puts her tiny girlfriend into a bag of k and lets her k hole into oblivion before rubbing her through the bag 😵‍💫

Slay the Spire? yeah I got my consult for that next month