I simply cannot believe that MIAMI of all teams would commit multiple very stupid and costly penalties!!!

No cheating, reskeet with the most recent picture of your pet(s) Malicious compliance with the dog-hair-blanket rule

My kid wanted to write "Christmas" on this picture so he'd remember when he took it but accidentally started a sports blogging career

Stevie Nicks' Bella Donna is a Christmas album if you listen to it on Christmas 🤷‍♀️

Nobody looks confused like a Harbaugh

they should invent a headache that feels good

FINALLY time to stop being disappointed by Carolina football and start getting disappointed by Carolina basketball again

Today I took my kid to a park and was waiting at the bottom of a slide when another kid popped out, stood up and said with palpable disdain in his voice "This is NOTHING like Key West."

Just washed a Goody's powder down with Diet Sun Drop no one has ever been more ready for a @shutdownfullcast.bsky.social live show

Cc: Bubba Cunningham

Time to stop being disappointed by Atlanta baseball and start getting disappointed by Carolina football again

Good riddance to August, the worst month: -Hot -Long (33-34 days?) -No office-closed holidays -Hot

Carolina crowd, mind sharing this around? If anybody is willing to adopt or foster this sweet boy, I’ll help arrange transportation or bring him to you myself 💞

I looked at some books on a table in a bookstore next to Amy Sedaris

Aren't the Police the protective force that maintains the status quo for the wealthy elite? Don't you think we ought to attack the roots of social problems instead of jamming people into overcrowded prisons?

The Stars have some real Bobson Dugnutt-ass names on the roster

Steph Curry: "He could do anything! (complimentary)" Draymond: "He could do anything! (derogatory)"

happy confederate surrender day to all

Happy Trans Day of Visibility

Time to stop being disappointed by Carolina basketball and start being disappointed by Atlanta baseball again

Was a good idea to do this before, seems like a really good idea to do it now www.nerdwallet.com/article/fina...

Poirot: As you can see, my friend Hastings is God's perfect idiot. Hastings, in his journal: Today M. Poirot called me perfect, and he was right

Now that it is tax season I remind everyone: DO NOT USE TURBOTAX. THEY WERE REMOVED FROM THE IRS FREE FILE SYSTEM AND ARE NOT BOUND TO THOSE RULES. Instead, if you make $84k or less a year, use any of the IRS Free File options found here: www.irs.gov/filing/irs-f...

"¡Apártense vacas, que la vida es corta!" Good advice for cows and non-cows alike 💯

sesame street isn't supposed to make money. the post office isn't supposed to make money. not everything is supposed to MAKE MONEY

Look at this card we got from the place we board our dog, shit is grim

Today's weird Lidl find

Dune has the same plot as the Westminster Dog Show: After generations of careful breeding, we have produced this perfect little freak of nature and now it has behavioral issues

Time to stop being disappointed by Carolina football and start being disappointed by Carolina basketball again

It's getting cold so it's just about time to read a bunch of books about Mountain Problems again

I, barely, post

Oh no I forgot to QT this at the start of football season. Rest assured I am very disappointed in Carolina football.

I got a perfect score on the audit part of the CPA exam. Aware that this is on the sad end of flexes.

If you see this, post an image you saved because it made you laugh.

Ma'am what are you doing

Have we done this one yet

Every album from The Decemberists

This is a word!!

Trying to help my son build a cave out of cushions and feeling a newfound empathy for any contractor who has ever had to execute directions from me on a home project

A vendor reveal party where you show off your new hot dog cart

Time to stop getting disappointed by Carolina basketball and start getting disappointed by Atlanta baseball instead

Will Ladislaw you get your country ass in here I know you ain't taking those children on an excursion at nutting-time 🛖

a house that runs out of paper towels, chicken nuggets and toilet paper at the same time is said to be in "costco equilibrium"

🛖 Caleb Garth, looking at a carton of eggs: LOOK HOW MANY CHICKENS I HAVE

ACC refs notice when a player is standing out of bounds with the ball challenge level: impossible

Me: I am very sophisticated because I am reading Victorian Literature 🛖. Victorian Literature: this guy's name is Hackbutt Me: lol

George Finch, 1922: Hey guys, I have this oxygen tank thing I've been fiddling with, lets practice with it so we don't die on Everest. Everyone else on the expedition: FUCK this man, he is smelly and I hate him with my LIFE

COCONUTS have WATER in them

There are 28 days left until our contract expires. ReSkeet to let G/O Media know you support The Onion Union and its right to a fair contract! ✊✊