... so I guess I had a moment of math dyslexia while filling out my rent check this month. honestly hilarious though. ideal rent price, truly.

look I know I'm weeks behind but JOSH RUBEN JUMPSCARE in Hacks. let this man do a seagull voice and direct the episode, please. <3

As somebody who loves bad films and has a struggling memory, sometimes my passive thoughts will become "wow. did I really watch a movie where Nic Cage face waterfalls his family after getting a face transplant from John Travolta" and I think surely not. But you would be surprised.

Done and done. Also I will bump up my pledge if you please tell me where you got that adorable cat sweater, @samreich.bsky.social 👀

me finally screwing up the courage to combat anxiety and call a company's tech support on the phone after like two days procrastinating: yeah hi so [problem] can you help? company: haha, nah dawg, our whole system is down. call back in like, five hours? my dumb ass:

I never feel like more of a dipshit in my adult life than when I have to clean my vacuum cleaner out. This is what I bought you for, my idiot robot son. Why have I become the vacuum cleaner cleaner? Will this ouroboros of dust never end?

Canada I am trying to learn about your political system but naming one of your most recent constitutional crises the "king-byng wing ding" is a level of whimsy that's truly unparalleled. Also having a PM with the last name King is high-tier irony, well played 👏

I think I became an honorary Dad today. I was doing spring cleaning in the kitchen when I noticed my fridge door was squeaky, so I busted out the WD-40... then fixed the dishwasher squeak. and a cabinet squeak. I was so high on wd-40 success I considered asking the neighbors if they wanted help 😔

I regret to inform you all that I actually had to use cross multiplication today in real life to figure out how to make creme-fraiche. So sadly our math teachers were kinda cooking. Happily, I was able to google how to do it 'cause I had no confidence I remembered right. so there is that I guess?

Give me my fucking hour back. I need it

*two men have a friendship on The Pitt* half the fandom: they're FUCKING. straight up RAW DOGGING IT. these boys be DOCKING ON MAIN. am I right girlies?! I beg of you to just go read some true gay lit. y'all so horny for representation but won't support what's out there. smdh

PEDES DR. RAPH CHESTANG ON THE PITT HELL YEAH BUDDYYYY get that bag

As tens of thousands across America protest the violence that ICE sows with impunity, federal agents shot and killed another person in Minneapolis today.

ICE terrorizes our cities. ICE puts us all in danger. Abolish ICE.

Oscars ain’t as dumb as Hollywood been acting the past couple weeks

My scheming vizier when I start to cough after taking a swig of wine from my goblet

I think if I walk up to the Walgreens pharmacist and they know me on sight and have my prescription ready from seeing me every other day and don't ask questions anymore I should just get free health care. I have a certain je ne sais quoi. gimme

Mike Wheeler I'm gonna um, actually your dumb ass. in no edition's compendium is Dimension Door a cleric spell you little nerd. get shoved in a locker. wet willy this melvin. plot reasons? fuck naw. not today. get him internet

I was jazzed that Sean Evans joined for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, but they put him up in a balcony in what's essentially gay baby jail reciting cool as hell parade facts and nobody gets to interact with him. you're doing my fellow Chicagoan dirty. let him be with the people, NBC. D:<

hell fucking yeah dude

dear angry old white man at the dealership: thanks for taking so long to bitch and moan at the parts receptionist? I came after you and shit-talked you, and the receptionist gave me a discount. always be nice to sales people. kindness costs nothing. cheers, wanker

feels like every day I have to learn something about Taylor Swift against my will. smdh we will never be safe from mediocre white women

The artists will save us. #Emmys

🥹👏

Me, a Kansan, watching Ma and Pa Kent speak with Southern accents and talk about driving on the I-9 (which isn't in KS) in the new Superman movie:

lmaooooo

11/10 social media work by the Durham Bulls

This is a Hall of Fame reader comment on a very reactionary op-ed about Zohran Mamdani's victory that was published in my local paper today.

NY Democratic machine genuinely befuddled after the charismatic, talented person with good ideas defeated the sex pest fuck-up with name recognition

At the library. A pre-teen came up to the older gentleman at the table next to mine with cheez-its in hand and said, "I'm studying the distributive property and um I'm distributing cheez-its to learn doyouwantthese?" really shyly and I have NEVER regretted having my earbuds in so hard in my life

In the spirit of Pride, I would like to take a moment to stop and apologize to my queer/MLM friends about how excited I got while playing FF14 the other day: I saw another player named Colonel Angus. Even now, I am snickering as memories of an SNL skit rush back.

One thing I’m proud of as an American is that even during our descent into fascism we have some fun days.

Look, I admit I am MONTHS late to this, but.. as a proud but pasty Irish-American, I gotta ask, Ryan Coogler, are we OKAY? WHAT HAPPENED? DO YOU WANNA COME TO A REEL? I'll put the kettle on it's okay holy SHIT

where is my funeral invite for the bozja and eureka pull etiquette (shouting "pulling at 19:30" etc.) mine must've gotten lost in the mail it's fine just text me the time and location

me: [stressing through a week of scheduling things meticulously and then setting aside time to hyperfixate on a hobby] yes. I did it. gold star for me. I will now sit down and enjoy this, my hobby. me, one hour later: well now I'm tired and I don't want to do this. myself to myself:

Sometimes Jordan Schlansky has fantastic and correct taste and someone should tell him that his favorite is the best episode. idk couldn't be me though 🤷 #ConanOBrienMustGo

If you're a TTRPG fan and you're not listening to @worldsbeyondnumber.bsky.social, you're missing tf out. Audio and narrative production on the podcast is doing stuff my ears and brain cannot comprehend. Can't recommend enough.

Happy Trans Day of Visibility to all my trans and gender non-conforming friends and fam. Trans is beautiful. We have and will always exist. Support trans folks today and every other day. 🏳️‍⚧️💖

congrats questing queens 🫶

We are so overjoyed by the overwhelmingly positive response to our latest episode. Thank you so much, as always, for your continual support and community! We hope you’ll join us by the fireside on Patreon if you haven’t already. Now sound off on your predictions for the next episode 👇👇👇

COMMISSIONED ARTWORK "Reapers? Let's put that name to the test." For "ThatDerpShark" #furry #furryart #subnautica

i got death threats for writing about game of fucking thrones. be serious.

I spent the last ten minutes of today's Severance episode with my mouth open just gobsmacked, staring. Do you know how hard it is to shut me up when I'm alone watching my shows? A++, #Severance team, damn

Yeah that's that good Severance shit, baby

Abbott Elementary's supporting cast is criminally underrated, holy shit I howled

I'm honestly never going to get over this Severance S2 teaser. Their DP is insane for that robot arm work, their editors are on point, everything is just *chef's kiss* 1/17 please come faster. www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwP6...