this shit probably doesn't even have wiggle test

RIP CNN

Connecticut I owe you an apology, I was not familiar with your game

Let’s see that approval rating Q1 2026 when millions lose their health insurance and everyone else’s rates go up sharply

Wow fuck Busta Rhymes

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We're going to have to kill and eat the Grinch to gain his anti-christmassy powers. The effect will be temporary, but it should allow us to perceive reality as it truly is, without the illusory effect of Christmas joy. If my calculations are correct, Santa buried his phylactery there,

Self-declared Free Speech Capital of the World Deeply Concerned about European Censorship proposes pre-screening tweets for wrongthink as part of the ESTA application process. Cool. Cool cool cool.

Looks like Rolling Stone is circling the drain 😞

Of course this guy can’t get any pussy

Jensen probably giving him some ballroom money to get this done

NUTSA

My man earned it good for him. However the the Browns are still cursed

U.S. govt now terrorizing the family of the college student they deported at Thanksgiving www.nytimes.com/2025/12/07/u...

This could be us but, oh wait—it is

Yeah I don’t fuck with Spotify and my listening age is prob 72

This is immoral. "3-year-old child forced to serve as her own attorney in Tucson immigration court. More than a dozen undocumented minors were forced to serve as their own attorneys in front of an immigration judge as the Trump admin. ramps up removal proceedings." coppercourier.com/2025/12/05/c...

YES IM AWARE OF THAT YOU SHITSTAIN

Camp Lo we need you now more than ever

This is what they took from you

Dating younger men because I’m going through cougarty right now

iTunes is such a piece of shit fuckboy app.

Is Strawberry Letter No 23 the best song ever written?

Looks like Taco Bell is awarding me the Noble Prize for Having a Beautiful Silky Penis Shaft. I thank you all 🙏🏼

Sabrina Carpenter made the White House delete their fuck ass tweet.

When they looked up felching in urban dictionary they had to cut her loose cuz that’s NASTY

We used to do this

If he would do something hilarious like fall off a stage and badly injure himself that would rock frankly

Your Swag Too Different, Charlie Brown

My diabolical cat chewed through yet another phone charger last night. He cannot be stopped

The masculine urge to leave one’s desk and go down to the office toilet to clip some mud snakes and surf the net for 20 mins

I look forward to watching Kalshi go out of business once the economy finally goes down the toilet

It’s gonna be some proud boy militia guy and they’ll be saying he’s a secret antifa super soldier

Praise-God Barebone en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Praise-...

Pipe bomb guy is getting a pardon too

I don't want your spotify wrapped I want to know what were your top 5 intrusive thoughts this year

Steve Cropper, who co-wrote classics including "(Sittin' on) the Dock of the Bay" and "In the Midnight Hour" during his years playing guitar at the legendary Stax Records in Memphis, has died. He was 84. n.pr/48zf0gD

A 6-year-old boy is missing after ICE arrested him and his dad in NYC last week and shipped them off to separate facilities. www.thecity.nyc/2025/12/02/i... @thecity.nyc @gwynnefitz.bsky.social

I want the AI slop sweater that looks like a cat

You are NOT the father, Charlie Brown

I assume there was a bribe here via crypto or whatever

what the fuck are we even doing

check out the shaft on this treenis

There’s no such thing as “upper middle class” you just grew up rich.

Hello, I wanted to share something important with you. Esmeralda is facing a tough situation after her husband Moises was detained by ICE, leaving her to care for their young children while pregnant. Every donation can help cover legal costs and bring Moises home. gofund.me/3deaa9df4

One time, Godzilla went past our hotel in Kyoto and he was hanging dong and I swear it looked like smooth broccoli.

hey grok activate unhinged mode and roast this guy (photo attached) GROK: jewish

When it cracks 35 he’s invading Venezuela

I just stepped up my turtleneck game, you better watch out before I fuk around and post a selfie

The Lowdown is the best show of 2025