Like, I wrote down “read a book”, then worried I might do that too long to get to everything else on the list. So then I added—“for 60 minutes”, and now my brain is calculating words-per-minute to somehow “win” at chilling out.

Today is my first real day off in about four months. Thought I’d write a little list of a few fun things to do with my time, and now I’ve ended up with a 26-point TO DO for fully min/maxed relaxation. Thanks, I hate it!

There’s a pivotal scene in the movie ELF where Buddy The Elf upsets a writer, making him storm out of a publishing meeting. The characters are sad—until they find the writer’s notebook and decide they can just publish his ideas without a contract. In a post-AI world, this makes for haunting viewing.

PM official, let’s do a bloody book!!!

Folks I cannot tell you how much I am still BUZZING.

New profile pic to show off my new author photos courtesy of @lapope.bsky.social! Aren’t they dreamy??

I'm insanely excited that @toddsjordan.bsky.social news is finally public 🙂 THE FLESH I WANT is so, so, so good. Stunning literary voice and creeping, suffocating horror in the heart of 90s rural Britain. Via @titanbooks.bsky.social www.thebookseller.com/rights/titan...

Oh blimey, this book. Like the mad offspring of Iain Banks and Lucy Rose. Grisly, weird Sussex-set body horror. @toddsjordan.bsky.social is one of the most exciting new voices in the genre I've come across in a while. You're going to love this one.

The news is out!!!! Cannot wait to share my disgusting little book with the world! A huge thanks to the team at @titanbooks.bsky.social for making this happen!

It’s kinda weird that Silent Night describes the holy infant as ‘tender’ and ‘mild’, words solely associated with chicken wings.

Why does this dog look like it's about to betray Gandalf

If you rotate the Cornflakes Rooster by 90°, it becomes a fiery alien cyclops wearing a golden crown.

“Nice story you got there… It’d be a shame if… Something real gross happened in it.”

I just fixed a plot hole by making a character puke. This must be how Dickens felt.

every author in the class action, please file the claim.

The opposite of holy macaroni is unholy ravioli.

Booked for Stokercon ‘26. Because why the hell not.

We never made it very far into the game, but if I’d encountered ‘DON’T LOOK INTO THE EYE BOO’ my heart would have probably stopped beating.

When I was a kid, my friend made me play the videogame of Clive Barker’s Nightbreed, and I got so scared I puked on the carpet of his parent’s computer room.

'A Bram Stoker Award winning novel, The Fisherman is a masterpiece of cosmic horror that contains elements of Lovecraft, Moby Dick and the ghost stories of M.R. James.' #JohnLangan's The Fisherman is No 16 in The Quietus 25 best pieces of #Horror Fiction of the 21st Century so far buff.ly/C4B49ZM

Maybe the most intense book I’ve read this year? Few things more scary than medical history. Highly recommended but y’know… Tread lightly… 😬

This really is an excellent book.

Forrest Gump’s mother, lying awake at night: 😳 Her social anxiety: You idiot. You absolute buffoon. Why did you say that? Her: 😭 Anxiety: There’s clearly a picture of the chocolates right there on the box!

Oh to be a phantasm orb, a lil shrunken brain just zooming around in your mirrored orb

Happy Halloween from me and Siouxsie!

if you turn away every time you feel discomfort, your world will contract and contract and contract until you are incapable of connecting to others or imagining other ways of existing in the world

Some people seem to think the word “everyone” means “everyone like me”.

Like you’re digging up a spooky grave, and in the coffin there’s a boney old schnozz pointing right at you. Terrifying.

Imagine if skeletons had noses.

The purest joy I’ve ever felt was meeting a bunch of 20-somethings who’d somehow never heard The Monster Mash. Now I will forever be the hero who introduced them to it.

kids teacher just sent this home as part of an assignment he's doing and i want to smash every computer at the school

Ok so I’m working on a fun new project that’s completely mad and it might not come to anything but if it DOES come to something then years from now this is the moment I will look back on and say: “Ah yes. That’s the moment I went mad”.

I don’t wanna brag about how brave I am, but I will say that I’m currently eating pesto while wearing a white t-shirt.

No other film ending has ever gone this hard. Every time this rolls up on-screen I immediately think, “Damn right I have.”

I loved this book and you will too if you’re a freaky l’il goblin like me.

Just finished Monstrilio by Gerardo Sámano Córdova. I knew it was gonna punch me in the goddam heart, and you can consider me heart-punched. This book, folks. This book.

The first time I read The Dark Tower, it was on Kindle. Enough time has passed, I want to go for another loop around, but I wish there was a nice shmancy set of physical books. The paperbacks I’m seeing are a bit meh.

My friend’s wedding is in a week and the guitarist for the band has broken his wrist. They can’t find a replacement in time, so I offered to fill in… before learning it’s a ska band. I’ve memorised 22 ska covers in 48 hours. My knuckles feel like roasted chestnuts. My heart beats only on upstrokes.

The tiny but very real Hell of having slightly burned the roof of your mouth.

Oh hai @samkhorton.bsky.social

My husband says that "It's Raining Men" and "Bodies" by Drowning Pool are the same song from different perspectives.

It’s a catchy song, but if it really WAS raining men, the cleanup would be horrific.

"It is said to taste of your mother's dying whisper." (Moonflow, by Bitter Karella. This book is such a romp! Terrifying terf cultists, bizarre mushrooms, creepy forest deities, it's got it all)

Can I please be put in cryosleep until the next episode of Alien Earth?

Whenever I overhear a stranger recommend a band to someone else, I always make a note to check out the album — and without fail, it’s always the worst music I’ve ever heard in my entire life. Classic bait and switch.

Lovecraftian horror meets the wildly inventive mind of Shirley Jackson award-winning author Nathan Ballingrud in CATHEDRAL OF THE DROWNED, the cosmic horror sequel to Crypt of the Moon Spider. 🕸️ 🕷️ Coming October 21st! https://tinyurl.com/mryz58uj

Every time I mean to write “breath”, I write “breathe”, and vice versa. Every time! Why can’t I learn this??

Can anybody recommend a decent biography of Aleister Crowley? I’m not looking for an analysis of his work, so much as a well-written account of his life.

Wriggling with glee at receiving @bitterkarella.bsky.social’s horror debut, Moonflow! Bring on the mushrooms 🍄