I love working at the Department of Justice and participating in a conspiracy to cover up the demented 80 year old president's sex crimes. I spend 18 hours a day redacting documents and there's a putrid husk where my soul used to be

Christ

Bragging on the internet that your first thought when you see a computer generated 19-year-old is "has she fucked"

If you're in line for the Epstein files, stay in line!

Away from my desk today but if anyone has any tips or info on the Epstein Files today, please text me on Signal premthakker.35

House Oversight Committee members have released the most damning images yet of Jeffrey Epstein and his vast consortium of perverted associates. To see the full collection, watch The Onion Investigates: Jeffrey Epstein - youtu.be/XjhSoGcQhWU

Got this survey today and made sure to give this response: Gender is the axis upon which patriarchy discriminates. Anyone worrying about it is a stooge for the patriarchy and is only furthering discrimination, division, and a genocide of trans kids.

Student Who’s Been In 3 School Shootings Starting To Think This Might Be About Him https://theonion.com/student-whos-been-in-3-school-shootings-starting-to-think-this-might-be-about-him/

This video does not end the way you expect.

#SaveSpeech KOSA has amassed more cosponsors recently, jumping from 42 to 60 total You need to call your reps and DEMAND that they oppose this legislation ASAP The link below contains more info about KOSA and an easy way to contact your reps 5calls.org/issue/kids-o... Please call DAILY

Delaware! Do you live in Wilmington? Are you relatively sane? Can you spare 4 hours a month? If so, consider joining our school board!

house tour

New Illustration: "We Beat 'Em Before..." Taken from a British WW2 poster, the original features a WW1 German soldier at the top. I just swapped it for the Nazi soldier it had at the bottom.

If you do not support trans people - by actively dedicating your time and money (if you have it) and voice to their cause - you are a failure of morality and humanity and you are not just a bystander but a culpable participant in one of the most violent attempts at eugenics of our time.

Thanks to all the marks on both sides of the aisle who enabled this by falling for a gobsmackingly stupid manufactured moral panic.

and tiny tim, who was NOT in the epstein files,

you: please act normal Ed you need these people to like you people: hello Ed nice to meet you me: 15th C Italian physicians developed a theory that epidemics were caused by the influence of celestial bodies and their movements, which is why we call one of the most common diseases "influenza."

"We don't want to be Luddites --" brother, Luddites were opposed to bosses concentrating wealth by using technology to make inferior product with warehouses fulls of starving exploited child labor. You don't have to wear the team jersey but respect the game.

Wirecutter | Looking for some last minute gifts? Here are four cryptocurrencies that shouldn’t lose more than 80% of their value within a year of purchase.

years of people begging this guy to understand that the “don’t feed kids into a wood chipper” bill includes a provision that mandates feeding kids into a wood chipper and he just doesn’t care. he’s either stupid, senile, or bought. gotta go

"Why is everyone SO OBSESSED with the Epstein Files," whined the guy who is in the Epstein Files. www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...

This is just straight up misinformation and propaganda These democrats don’t just not understand. They are actively working to dismantle all democratic institutions and any kind of free and fair information space. They are either incompetent to the point of malice or acting out of malice

Here in Delaware we have a statue of Thomas Garrett, a white man found guilty of obstructing the recapture of fugitives from slavery – ordered to pay damages to the point of ruin for it. We don't, to my knowledge, have any statues celebrating the judges or jury members who found him guilty.

THREAD: The FDA has made it difficult to find where medications are made. Today we're changing that with our latest tool. With Rx Inspector, it’s possible to see your drug’s manufacturing facility and what the FDA found during its inspections. Here's how you can use it. 1/

if tumblr dies I need this video to make it's seasonal rotation here instead just in case, Happy holidays 🎄

Sylren ⋆˙⟡ lined commission #commissionart

Teenager me: everyone in charge is so stupid Young adult me: politics corporations and science are incredibly complex topics that require thorough research and discussion and we shouldnt jump to conclusions Me now: everyone in charge is so stupid

If we are banning cell phones for kids we need to be talking about banning chatbots for boomers www.persuasion.community/p/my-chatgpt...

Spot-on.

Great piece 👍

Episode 48: Elon Musk, Part 2 Over the course of several years, the richest man in the world lost his mind. His biographer didn’t seem to notice.

Commission piece of a scene from The Fate of Ashes series by @victoriaktaylorbooks Literally went out of my comfort zone for this 😂 #artcommission #commissionopen #bookart

Dropped my phone on my face, time to actually go to sleep now

This is metal

I made a batch of chili that's a little too hot, even for me, so now I get to spend the next few hours with crippling abdominal pain. I will, of course, repeat this every night for the next two weeks until this batch is gone.

An immigrant doesn’t stand between you and a good job. A billionaire does.

just a collection of "inevitable" multi-billion dollar tech that was going to be the future of everything until everyone in the audience who was supposed to just get on board said "lol no"

Breaking news: The government has admitted fault in the Jan. 29 collision between an Army helicopter and a commercial jet over the Potomac River, opening the door for the families of the 67 victims to pursue a monetary settlement.

It's actually not complicated. Google handed Mozilla millions of dollars every year to prop up long after they were irrelevant, so Chrome would not be recognized as a monopoly. Then Google cut the tap, as they warned they'd do for years, and Mozilla has basically doing Arrested Development since.

techbros: we have created AGI cognitive scientists: you fucked up a perfectly good spreadsheet is what you did. look at it. it's got anxiety

Seasoning. 🌶️

America has deindustrialized so much they can't even manufacture consent

'Kills children after 2 days of use' was the kind of thing that would end a product back in the day

And here it is.

China didn’t steal American jobs, CEOs of multinational corporations gave them away. AI won’t steal American jobs, CEOs will make a choice to cut labor to save a dime. We all have an obligation to take a stand for American workers.

My favorite tyrant joke: a man comes every day and peers at the front page of the newspaper without buying it. The newspaper vendor says, "what are you looking for?" "An obituary." "Obituaries aren't on the front page." "This one will be."

This Weeks Editorial Cartoon: Downer and Blitzin’