A really funny April Fool's Day prank would be if no one paid their rent

Listening to the Starcraft soundtrack and gathering minerals (cutting orange slices) to bring back to my command center (baby)

My baby sometimes runs around in a stance I can only describe as "Hold SHIFT to crouch"

"Capitalism incentivizes greed and concentrates power in the hands of dangerous sociopaths while replicating systems of imperial extraction, inevitably undermining democracy and human dignity" vs. "This graph shows dishwashers have become more widely available since dishwashers were invented"

We got our baby D'Aulaires Book of Greek Myths and I can tell she has a lot of questions about centaurs which she lacks the vocabulary to ask.

Beyond the gap between the purported goals and the means: Israel does not want the emergence of genuine democratic politics in the Middle East because those populations and thus their representatives would almost certainly oppose Israel’s brutal treatment of Palestinians

Pre-transition pickup line: [in a James Bond voice] "Your boobies look extra huge tonight." Post-transition pickup line: [in a Pussy Galore voice] "Your boobies look extra huge tonight."

This is great news for people who enjoy getting stuck behind giant delivery vans parked in the middle of the street.

RIP to Jane Badall, Jane Goodall's evil twin who devoted her life to teaching chimpanzees how to use assault rifles. She perished earlier this week in a single-vehicle cybertruck accident. She is survived by her pet chimpanzee Fucko the Executioner.

I was asked to give my thoughts on generative AI usage in games - here they are!

not the onion

Decided to check out that Starfleet Academy series everyone's talking about

leaders like trump are why sun tzu had to write a bunch of advice like "don't write your enemy a letter detailing what tactics you really don't want them to do"

The foundation of American fascism rests on three things: extreme bigotry, whining about other people's coffee orders, and saying "so much for global warming" whenever it's cold out

Wish I were #6 but I'm #11

#5 Goldfinger (1964) - “No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die” is undoubtedly the most famous line delivered by a villain in the entire franchise, in this instance uttered by the gold-obsessed Auric Goldfinger, made all the more potent by Bond’s famous retort: “Fuck you, you piece of shit.”

I have so much respect for Dr. Seuss for always drawing elephants exactly the same but never drawing a horse the same way twice

Tom Paris stole my printer!

In Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron, when it first shows Spirit and the music says "Here I am, this is me" - that's cinema

Didn't get accepted into the PhD program

It’s finally over

Various philosophies

Not being on antidepressants means I am always one setback away from starting a new warhammer army

Trapped in a cave with a rival Romulan captain, Picard must debate a sentient worm. Data's new sneezing subroutine causes havoc.

Huh, just the other day a certain popehat-themed gimmick account called me an idiot for pointing out that vocally pro-ICE teachers are a danger to their students and should be fired for the good of society.

Howdy, Liberals! I notice you are very into democracy, personal liberty, and equality. Have you ever thought about a system where those principles also applied in the workplace? I th- oh, hold on, there's someone at the door. Ah, the police are here with one of those black bags they- mmmf!

there's a new scam going around where they offer you a place to live in exchange for a monthly fee but no matter how many times you pay in excess of the property's value they still keep charging you to live there

Nope! All nazis should lose their jobs (and one other surprise thing)

Our baby was eating beans so we started singing "Whoa-oh, here she comes/Watch put boys, she'll eat your beans!/Whoa-oh, here she comes/She's a BEAN EATER!" And then she started crying whenever we *weren't* singing, so we had to sing that verse over and over while she ate. Parenthood is magical!

They're still out there. The goofs and spoofs. If we can only find them. Wondermark #1582; Limit Your Scream Time

I need folks to understand this. The idea that local police forces will intervene at scale against ICE is a utopian fantasy totally disconnected from how policing has always worked

[Sitting around a barrel fire] "So now the whole food court is singing 'can I get a napkin please' and- what was a food court? Well, it was this place in the mall where- OK, a mall was a sort of market where- No, I don't know why they called it improv when it was scripted and highly choreographed."

Who gave the seven dwarfs those names though?

Told my bandmates that I wanted to "focus more on the music, man!" Seems to have gone awry. Came to practice and found them all patter-singing about the moral dangers of billiards.

2027 Super Bowl ad 60-year-old Robin Wright: Farm boy? Order me dinner 64-year-old Cary Elwes: As you wish Horrific AI recreation of Peter Falk's voice: What she realized that day was that when he said "as you wish," what he really meant was "I'll get UberEats"

For sale: baby bongos. Never drummed.

*noticing that cops are the bad guys in every civil rights and labor issue for the last 150 years* "ah but they're probably better now, though."

Five classes you took in college: 1. Celtic Civilizations in Medieval Europe (I met my wife here) 2. Ancient Greece in Cinema 3. The Medieval Tournament 4. Terrorism 5. Special Topics in Comparative Literature: Superheroes

Our feckless national media doesn't like ongoing situations, they like stories that wrap up with a nice little bow and a lesson learned, which is the story Homan fed them.

Ohh my god you find Will Stancil annoying? Should we tell everyone? Should we throw a party? Should we invite Bella Hadid.

71,000 dead and here in America our politicians and cops were siding with the murderous regime and expelling students from their universities. a stain that I hope future historians will contextualize for the evil it is.

I wonder if Darren Aranofsky has previously made any art specifically about surrendering your human ingenuity and passion in favor of a cold and soulless substitute which offers a supposed shortcut to success under the pressures of American life.

Incredible headshots all around. Love that Patrick Stewart's photo is just him as Gurney Halleck. Kinda wish they were all doing that thing with their hands that Gates McFadden is doing.

Remember that TNG episode where Wesley is like "a Federation-funded genocide is better than a Romulan-funded genocide. There is no other option in this scenario." And Picard pats him on the back and says, "Well said, Wesley. Leadership also means never taking responsibility. Welcome to Section 31!"

I need people to understand that Moby Dick is a funny book.

Scientology-ass government

Paul: "Thufir, play me a pump-up jam." Thufir Hawat [eyes rolling back]: "Playing Fight Song by Rachel Platten on CHOAM Music. Like a small boat on the ocean, sending big waves into

I dressed as Dilbert for halloween and lost my town's costume contest to a girl dressed as the Big Comfy Couch who the judges thought was a pumpkin.

A really important online leftist skill is knowing when a Liberal is defending something against the Right and not then attacking them about it from the Left.