computer, show me a perfect magic card

an archetype of magic the gathering player that annoys me is the apologetic stax player, going sorry sorry sorry while playing lock pieces. but by imagining a cute lady filling this archetype it becomes something wonderful. much to think about

"If that's not a highlight reel goal I don't know what is" Minnesota's Abbey Murphy beats her defender with a lacrosse move, then slides it over for Bella Fanale to score

baffled as two of the bands tonight were the same people but they changed outfits between sets and started playing way better

if you ever get a chance to see the band Chopping Spree you should

beef is now a 1 block vertical jump fuck inflation

i learned that one of the best places for a beautiful woman to be is the mosh pit

i think im gonna get the nose chain next week

Here ya go!

second Scott the woz estrogen of 2026. started actual work at my new job. 12 hour shifts and it’s fucking ROUGH but it’s this or homelessness. it’s a 3 month temp position but hopefully I either get hired or find something else when the temp period is up.

‪if you can offer me some help with financial security in these trying times it would be much appreciated ‬ ‪https://gofund.me/d6ab060c8‬

i need someone gagged and bound and listening to me talking about my interpretation of through this fire across from peter balkan for 3 hours

very very exhausted time to rest time to rest

Yuri is a breath of life in this cold, dark world

you gotta be careful playing magic with chuunibyou girls cuz they'll say some shit like "Encore of Lamentation!"

Mamdani’s New York is out of control

read Yokohama Kaidashi Kikou TODAY!!!!!!

GRAAAAAHHHHH I NEED WIFE

cant believe i was an egg plumber. my ass was in the water closet

blood test? no we have you booked for the blood trial. your blood will be fighting the manticore.

2 weeks :)

it makes me so happy that so many people in my life will send me anything that says aster on it

this fucking wretched body

vivid seems like such a boring mechanic :/ i get that it's for limited but "play all 5 colours" is so antithetical to what i enjoy about magic, it's domain all over again. when every deck has every effect why even have a colour pie?

they are actually coming out with wifegirls this year

So I've got a moot who's a superb writer. But her platform is being a dick, so you can only find her stuff with a direct link. This hurts authors, game designers, artists, and the whole cause of anti-slop. So go. Pick up some good reads. And thank you ❤️

i gotta try cube

i really liked Wake Up Dead Man

what the hell were they thinking

😷

FUJOSHIS ARE CANON ON RAVNICA???????

frizz girl reports "some regrets" regarding move to Everyone Had Perfect Hair City

i always accidentally dress comfort style to the goth tgirl moshpit concerts and goth tgirl moshpit to the comfort style concerts -_- zero vibe reading

Uhhh hits you with the beam that magnifies each and every one of your yearnings

t4t sex is where the hardest thing in the room is the laughter

you don't know me

2026 is actually year 0 of the himejoshi eternity

it's 1:30 pm on new year's day and I have already milled at least 600 cards into various opponents' graveyards. gonna be a great year for you if you desire freedom from wondering what card you're going to draw next

snakes leave behind whole skins. all manner of flying creatures, not just butterflies, do them one better, whole new selves from wriggling worms. rocks into gems. mystics die to the flesh to be reborn in the spirit. rebirth is the rule, not the stray exception, if we can grasp it

2026 will be swagful

every time a band i like comes out with a new album im like. this is okay but its not as good as the old stuff. and then Dad And The Dog

i made a silly edit of that anthony bourdain "once you've been to cambodia" image and someone was REALLY mad that i didn't, like, write that it was satire and not an actual quote and that i was deceiving people