“Why don’t you take your legislative agenda and shove it up your ass?”

It’s hard to believe that everything has got so much worse. Apart from all of those things that have improved. But mainly how bad everything is. And also better than ever.

I am NOT putting the heating on. I AM putting my fingerless gloves on.

My feeling is that very rich celebrities shouldn't do sponsored events, they should just quietly donate some of the money they have lots of, rather than asking people who don't have as much money to pay them to have a swim or whatever

Good morning and - I don’t say this lightly - urgh.

Two massive highlights from a day in Primary school with Year 4 today. 1. Girl comes up: ‘They’re laughing at me telling me I’m saying Hittoponomus wrong.’ The sheer joy she had when saying Hippopotamus a few times was infectious. 1/2

that's just my mate Gregor he's having a bit of a rough day at the office

Whoever had to come up with the new corporate bulkshit jargon for this study must have had the most fun.

"A new study out of Cornell Universit found workers most excited and impressed by corporate speak may be the least equipped to make effective, practical business decisions, and it can leave companies with dysfunctional leaders."

Igor Tudor looking like he might have once taught dance troops the importance of spirit fingers.

I must have been in a good mood as not only did I enjoy SNL UK (obviously not every sketch worked/too long) but I also really liked Wet Leg. I’d only heard that furniture based one and was not a fan but last night i liked.

I’m a miserable git and I laughed a good few times. I liked it. Even if most sketches were too long. #SNLUK

@wormito.bsky.social Great win today with Chelsea drawing! I feel like morale needed that late goal winner after just lacking a little cutting edge recently.

I think Chelsea need a team meeting around the centre spot.

Having read the article, it seems to me like the deputy head didn't like the title of a book, then asked an AI to tell him which books were "inappropriate for kids" without actually looking at it

This is utterly jaw-dropping. A school that bans Atwood, Zadie Smith, Terry effing Pratchett and *literal George Orwell* is actively harming its pupils. www.indexoncensorship.org/2026/03/scho...

So much of this is *horrifying* but this was like a jumpscare. I gasped.

Maybe SNL UK will be amazing. But the trailers and ad’s are not suggesting that will be the case.

Do you ever look at koala bears and think to yourself, “those dudes would look so fuckin’ classy in top hats?”

she’s here and she’s beautiful @artbutmakeitsports.bsky.social

I’m trying to listen to an audiobook again. I’M TRYING

Did anyone watch Gone on ITV tonight? There was a car advert with an oldish song i used to love but didn’t have my phone to shazam it. It was sorta low fi indie with a female singer and bits in (I think) Japanese? Driving me mad.

Okay. This was one caused me to do a double take. I like it. I think more established actors should just take fun jobs. If I was a famous actor I’d want to appear on loads of crime shows as a dead body. Or just play a really small role.

Someone posted their ‘Best’ order for last 10 Best Picture winners at the Oscars and I’m bit embarrassed how narrow and simple my movie palette has become as I’ve only seen 5 of them. And three of those I switched off before the half way point. I need to make more of an effort.

I can’t see stadiums being built specifically for women’s teams over here BUT it will be interesting to see if we get more teams like London Lionesses not tied to a men’s team. www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...

I can’t remember what caused the ‘awake-in-the-middle-of-the-night-thought-spiral’ that led down the rabbit hole to listen to this but I now can’t stop. youtu.be/vvmpc83nv4A?...

Thought it was 5am when I woke up. No. 2.47am. My brain: we need to think about Hesgeth wanting to use a nuclear bomb. He must have asked about it by now.

Would you like feedback on your work or do you need help finding the right way in to a poem you've always wanted to write? There are still some spaces in March if anybody fancies?https://nationalcentreforwriting.org.uk/events/mentoring-with-helen-ivory/

The publishing industry's lack of confidence in authors and its own ability to create careers for them is pathetic and, in the end, self-defeating.

Extraordinary piece, brilliant writing.

I bet the prepper group chat is thriving right now.

Sometimes, if I said I’m happy being single, I’d hear “you never know what you were missing until you get it” and I thought it was ridiculous. But I’ve had to admit they could be right. I’ve just discovered Onion Relish and I’m in love.

Excellent Opera and Ballet ad’ campaign featuring Timothée Chalamet. Top work.

Huh. *adds ‘stockpile tinned goods’ to list.

My cartoon in today's @irishexaminer.bsky.social

I would pay extra for ‘no food allowed’ cinema screenings.

Had to sit after finishing this and just contemplate the characters and the decades of story. Multiple passages had me pinballing through emotions and one line left me making an undignified noise. So Many Ways to Begin by @jonmcgregor.bsky.social Slightly bereft at finishing it.

Good morning. I think I woke up approximately 38 times in the night and it felt like I’d had a different dream each time. The final time required a bit of ‘who am I, where am I, what’s going on?’ I’m still not 100% satisfied by the answers.

Absolute ghouls descending on Soham. Get fucked. The lack of empathy shown for the families by plastering the murderer’s face in the papers and the picture of Jessica and Holly is just depressing.

BBC Four is repeating This Life to coincide with its 30th anniversary, beginning with a double bill on Wed 18 March with a new filmed intro from Daniela Nardini. #ThisLife

I have badly cut my finger and am therefore taking the executive decision to help the healing by crashing on the sofa and reading all day.

It's genuinely wild to me that everyone went "fuck no" to glasses with cameras and wi-fi 15 years ago when it was Google doing it, but aren't losing their minds that Facebook are doing it again now with an added bonus layer of shitty AI applications.

🚨 It looks like the UK government is gearing up to upend copyright law in favour of AI companies, legalising the theft of their work. This is despite creatives' huge protests, and despite previous proposals being roundly rejected by the public. Please spread the word. 🧵 1/4

Everyone connected with Arsenal celebrating that goal…apart from the ball boy who’s LIVID:

I have never watched Silent Witness so started from the very start. 30 years old? It’s great to watch something that doesn’t explain the plot or who everyone is every 10 minutes. And characters talk like people.

Love the glimpse into the beautiful mind that notated this used copy of Moby Dick I got

this is an absolutely astonishing feat of independent journalism, top to bottom, and proves that the only way to truly fight billionaires is not being funded by them. just…read the whole thing.

Been looking up why Copernicus believed heliocentric theory and now can’t remember what the train of thought was that made me think I needed to know this…

Not a day goes by I don't wish I could wear blinkers like a horse. Oh what's going on over there? NONE OF MY BUSINESS.