auto gynephilia? in europe we only got manual gynephilia

For outsiders, you might be thinking “well obviously, that’s what they always do …” But in the last election, 6% of those polled said immigration was a concern, and polls famously skew conservative! Theyre trying to manufacture consent from nothing, in real time. It’s not craven, it’s baffling!

do you reckon they have poppies in the 41st millennium

This would have been 2005, based on the flat. There were NO SIGNS.

Feral.

Reskeet to yearn.

"uhm, ackshually captain? Recent research has shown that beatings in fact decrease morale and—OW!!"

I like how you can use emojis to zoom in on a pig 🐖 🐷 🐽

Everybody is doing industrial quantities of cocaine but at the end of every episode they find out, scooby doo style, that it was just Old Man Gladio all along

God I love my friends

Probably wouldn’t have gone with Mountbatten as a name if I was trying to distance myself from the paedophile allegations tbh

Today marks my 90 days. Having a lot of Big Feelings, not least of all that even though this is a big day for me, I’m just doing a normal shift at work on a cold and miserable Thursday, and so can’t make my usual meeting. Oh well, at least I don’t want a drink this time.

This is AMAZING

Honestly, Aunt is more a job title than a relationship status. A woman your parents age who gives you birthday presents? That’s an aunt.

Last night multiple people independently reassured me that everyone is weird and awkward at their first kink event I WAS TRYING TO BE NORMAL!

My Dad regularly tells the story about his friend running a border checkpoint when he realised the soldiers were wearing trainers. This is a funny story. He also warns me that Dublins gotten awful rough these days and I need to watch out.

Having emotions is so profoundly stupid, I'm so glad they invented art so we could put them somewhere.

Young Tories were officially disband by the wider party in the mid-80’s, because they were considered too extreme FOR THATCHER! I want to say it was over the “hang Mandela” badges, but maybe I’m giving them too much credit

Although their time in the sun has faded a bit, Hunt Sabs were once as integral to the British Left as CND and Collie bands in the day It wasn’t even really an animal rights thing, hunting animals for sport was mostly seen as a sign that The Toffs were all utterly lost in the sauce.

There’s a bit in Slave To The Grind where they just ask everyone their opinion on Seth Putnam, and more or less everyone agrees he was a huge prick. Just a 5 minute montage of all the interviewees saying “fuck that guy”. It’s great!

Can’t even call a jackeen a West Brit anymore, because of woke

“You mean I can hang out in coffins with my friends wearing pretty dresses looking amazing? But in a totally cis and heterosexual way because I’m definitely a boy? Now I DEFINITELY want to be in a band!” - Me, at 12, seeing the video for Celebrity Skin the first time

I haven’t played a gig since Covid, PARTLY because watching bands criticise the Tory response all through lockdown, only to then IMMEDIATELY book a tour once restricted were relaxed - not lifted, relaxed - genuinely killed the last shred of hope I had for punk as a force for good in this world

Schedules finally aligned and I managed to make it to the women’s munch. Girl behind the bar asked if I was here with the … “Reservation” Sure, there’s an expectation of discretion from both sides, but it honestly would have been less suspicious if she just announced the perverts were out back

I did exactly one session of therapy and my parents have been in an argument about it ever since I guess they just want me to get my monies worth?

I keep coming back to this, but NAZIs made it illegal to stand on a bus in Norway coz the locals simply refused to associate with them You don’t have to become a forest brother. You can also choose to just be a petty bitch, it totally works! Make the fuckers miserable!

Nigerian Guinness is also about 8% and thick as treacle. Running is the last thing I’d want to be doing after drinking it! They’ve started selling it as Foreign Extra now, but back in the day you had to go into the weird corner shops to find it. Absolutely worth it!

Dealing with this used to be my job Food that went out of date at midnight was sent to local food banks at a 75% discount at 10pm. This was integrated enough it caused problems when it wasn’t collected At times I handed people black sacks of food coz it was booked and we had nowhere else to put it

🫡

I’ve run out of smokes and all the local corner shops are closed. Pray for me.

I came out 13 years ago, in England. Mitchfest was still a thing. You just accepted you’d get hassle at feminist events. Stonewall was still half a decade from acceptance. I’ve met many bigots, but I’ve yet to meet an Irish TERF. That mindset is just alien to us it seems. I don’t know why.

Even after 15 years of living in the UK, the biggest culture shock I ever had was the first time someone put a BNP flyer through my door. This was around 2010 and it was just a totally alien concept to me. Like, I don’t think we’re GOOD, but things never got THAT bad, right?

Today in unsurprising coincidences: myself and another trans girl worked out we were at the same Dresden Dolls gig in 2006

COWBOY DAN, WHILE FIRING HIS RIFLE IN THE SKY: God if i have to die you will have to die!!! GOD: Who The Hell Is That ANGEL: that's Cowboy Dan, sir. he's a major player in the cowboy scene GOD: What

I have texted every individual friend group I have about managing to work “aleatoric” into a conversation with a customer Like you do

It has been a long morning

The most fun you can have on social media is finding out how much of your real, unfiltered inner life you can share before your IRL friends start asking if you’re ok

A girl once put this song on a mixtape for me and I was so incredibly hung up that I couldn’t listen to it without bursting into tears for like, maybe a decade?

I have slowly come to accept that I am just one of gods weird little guys. Unfortunately, I’m also rapidly approaching the age where that’s no longer seen as cute (40). So you can imagine my plight.

This does raise the question of whether Liverpool or Dublin is the evil one On the one hand, we never drowned a Welsh speaking town for fun, but also, our one and only industry is tax evasion, so it’s impossible to tell

Sorry terfs but the only way you'll stop trans people from existing in Britain is if you declare Games Workshop both outlaw and enemy of the state

Rewatching A Fish Called Wanda and 1) pretty sure no woman has ever looked better than Jamie Lee Curtis 2) Kevin Kline could have immediately retired and still have gone down as one of the greatest comedic actors of all time

If Mao Zedong was a Yank

My best friend and I just got into a fight about which of us has less sex because of a Chappell Roan thirst trap

Our editorial, "Academic publishing and the privilege of a platform", explores the importance of breaking down paywalls, redistributing academic wealth, and amplifying the voices of writers from contexts such as Palestine and Ukraine.

1) this was released over a decade ago and is unironically still one of the most personally impactful songs I’ve come across 2) I hope whoever wrote this is enjoying their adult ADHD diagnosis

The girl who works behind the bar here is very attractive. Alas, we both dropped fat dooks at the same time (on adjacent stalls), and now can’t break the sacred bond

So, as a bone fide sex haver who has their finger on the pulse, this is apparently the year where I get into Isis

My Apple Wrapped, or whatever shit they’re calling it. I’m glad Apple doesn’t give you one of those genre names, coz mine would presumably be “you old bitch, take a multivitamin”

Have just been hit with a sudden recollection of watching my girlfriends Dad fully belt The Killing Moon at a karaoke bar 10/10, the most Northern thing that has ever happened to me