white people when they gain interiority

as a terrible person myself, i should tell you that the public figure you're all calling a terrible person isn't reading any of your negative posts about him. but i am. and it hurts.

ate really good last night #UHF

i wish the crunch o meter could go into the red, indicating its so crunchy that its dangerous to children under 4

i dont care if it farts or if it fills the bowl i want a perfect booty i want a perfect hole

You have slain one of my people. You must pay with your life.

im so glad theyre adding group chats so we wont have to go to a different website any more to coordinate gangstalking

saw ben walking around cambridge today #ben

(hearing a guy blow his nose really loudly) i’ll have what he’s having !

do you get it now?

trying to join a union because i hear they enjoy stroking(?)

You can always tell when a guy lost his virginity before the first time he killed someone or after. Totally different energy

its raining so hard there are seagulls perching on my roof

1000 drakes (in unison): first name greatest last name dragon

mina hollower, i call her “mediocra”, everyone knows why; looks rendered low and disgusting, subpixels protruding, crawling along the ossex isles like a lost, like a little lost bug looking for candy. but shes not going to find any candy! no candy for mediocra hollower or fraud club games

It’s really easy to blow money when you’re like “I’ve spent this much at the supermarket no problem”

considering how good a peanut butter cream and pickle sandwich on white bread sounds to me, i wish i could get pregnant. im certain the cravings id get'd invent an entirely new genre of food free from all past context and constraint, one that is featureless, incomprehensible, and perfectly violent

i got a breadache the way my money hurtin

laughing really hard at how a japanese youtube cooking guy described something really sweet as "i can feel all the ants in town coming towards me"

We're friends, right? Well, just between friends, I'm a little bit scared.

i keep getting a good security rating for not clicking on my work's simulated phishing emails but little do they know it's because i don't read any of my work emails

mediocra the fraudower is releasing in two days and of course i'll be buying that garbage

(vague european accent) Hey friend we gonna cooking burger

it never hurts to end an album with a little avuncularity

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Time Mage

that’s the homie Quoted Ian, he’s got a lot of memorable things to say about daily occurrences

saying you love Ra when you only have one obelisk is crazy

produced by john congleton, the decemberists’ “ill be your girl” is their best full album by a mile, presumably because john had colin knock off that jeff cap shit for more than half the album

just saw a news report about a 2 year old who got bit by a raccoon at a local playground and it showed this like creeping low ground evil dead style shot with the camera climbing up the playset stairs to the slide like a recreation of the rabid raccoon’s POV lmao

cheers, ill hear to that 🍻👂

im actually healthier than most horses

got a dynamic sky shader and a lerp between atmospheres when you enter a new area. the fully intended effect is not in place yet, but this thing's coming together pretty quickly

My buddy Lucid Mike’s coming over later to expound a couple of his famous homemade theories

molokhia with carnitas, the type of fusion dish that is most plausibly invented by a white boy with no religious dietary restrictions. this is so good, and made my poop come out super smooth

𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗠𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝘂𝗽𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 We think you and ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀɴɢʟᴇʀ should get to know each other. ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀɴɢʟᴇʀ will be in your Discover until tomorrow.

my new fitness plan has me on a seafood diet. yeah i seafood and then fitness food into my mouth!!

oh yeah, big surprise that a fucking orc would be politically opposed to the elfare state

*crouching like a gremlin* me thinks I'm a little depriveth of sleepy weepy 😂😭 *stands up & speaks in a clear deep voice* Guys, let's all have a great day today *darkens* No matter the cost.

"once i nut all of that elf shit be over" was my scary halloween display name, but i never changed it back. memento marcille

Woman next to me on the bus saw me tweet this and immediately got up. Fairs

laughing so hard at the first 10 seconds where it looks like some kind of ancient colossal predator

here’s to understanding, without which— well, i don’t know

im not a nasty little pervert, i have a frankly ennobled soul about the whole thing. its mainly the rest of me that's the problem

People have been drawn to this sacred spring’s swag since prehistoric times

i'd love to upgrade my calisthenics ability and earn my full splits! but based on the short form video content that explains how to do it, im afraid it will irreparably change my music taste to the worst conscious rap i've ever heard in my entire life, and i just can't risk that kind of change

Blue Alien gf: What is "kush blasting"? I want to learn..

laughing at this video again. why is he saying it so angrily. is it HIS name or something? www.youtube.com/watch?v=cG5c...

very tasty