Am displeased with the rumors being spread that Mamdani will impose Shania law. That don't impress me much.

no amount of state propaganda will ever convince me this man is my enemy

Blaze your own trail. Stake your own claim. Become ungovernable. Don't just do as you're toad.

You'll get these pronouns when you pry them from my cold wet flippers.

INVENTOR OF THE LIBRARY: hey check this out

lmao.

this should be one of defining images of his second term, because its impossible to tell from looking at it whether he is too indifferent to care or too senile to notice

“What’s required in these situations is a few folks standing up and giving courage to other folks. And then more people stand up and kind of go, ‘Yeah, no, that’s not who we are. That’s not our idea of America.’” -Barack Obama

Shh. Eepy.

In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate, yet equally important, groups: The Chef, who sets the menus and makes the schedules, and the Sous Chef, who operate the kitchen in the Chefs absence. These are their stories.

Feed the people!!!

Where does he go from here? Does he just ride the subway off into the sunset?

Sandwhich thrower gluten freed! ...okay I'm done.

Hoist the flag Mateys!!!

NOT GUILTY. Justice served hot and fresh! Jury not convinced by supercop hamming on stand.

"8 cokes, two sprites and an iced tea please. We're going to need drinks to wash down this much baloney."

Am man can confirm.

. @mxlabradorite.bsky.social is helping me with a gofundme for my kitty, Smokey! www.gofundme.com/f/smokey-and... #FuckCancer

guys I’m sorry but have you looked through Getty images for yesterday 💀

Defense: If the thing hits your guy like a soggy french fry, that's acquittal.

Defense: Ballistic bullwark belies believability of boffo bread beaning.

Defense counters, claims felony foot long farce too far flung to find find faithful following.

Jury woken from nap, considers constables claim brush with bread bruised worlds toughest cop.

Look alive people we have concepts. We have upgraded from an inkling but have not quite reached a notion yet.

Prosecution may rest after doughy closing statement. Defense considers more grilling. Mild misdemeanor for ham heaving hero hangs in balance.

We could have had national parks and the nice lawyer lady, instead we screwed around and have to fight off dementia juche and 99 infighting scooby doo villains.

Omg the alt text lololol

Deeply moving to see this first family.

Something to note from tonight's elections: both of the newly elected governors are educated white collar women born in the 70's. These women were some of the first generationally to grow up in a world where being female and powerful was legally possible from the get go.

I am older than the mayor of New York. Neat.

Inshallah

i hope this election cycle empowers everyone the next time a centrist liberal says to drop pro-trans and pro-immigrant rhetoric to enthusiastically tell them to shut the fuck up

OK. Let's fucking go. Kat next.

Hey Andy! You need help packing?

AN AVALANCHE OF FREEMEN

Never stopped!

<3 <3 <3

Oh man Olive all these sandwich jokes!

Knees week Arms are heavy There's sandwich on my armor already From some guy named eddie... Snap back to reality Oops was that swiss or brie Onions? Wow! Everybodys joking now.

"I could smell the onions and the mustard"

I was one of the testers that filed my return just before the system went live to work the last few bugs out. It was simple and easy to use, it was great, and they stole that from you all and smashed it.

I hope someone is writing "12 Hangry Men" about the sandwich guy jury

Sandwich slinger slander sinking. Defence chips away at flaky charges. Prosecution in a pickle!

Police weenie bumped by pannini pressed on stand, proves proceedings pointless.

Johnny doesn't know Johnny doesn't know Don't ask Johnny Cuz Johnny doesn't know Oh-Oh-Oh Don't ask Johnny Cuz Johnny doesn't know

Good work boys, we found the baloney, and it wasn't in the sandwich.

Grima Wormtounge has just endorsed Andrew Cuomo

New York is a-changin'.