That’s correct, SmartThings, and if I stab myself in the eyes with ballpoint pens I can use them as a handy pen holder!

I appreciate that some venues, like the Stork Club in Oakland, are getting ahead of this trend by requiring all fliers be human made. "We don't care if it's a screenshot of the Notes app with the show info or a picture of a hand with band names written in […] [Original post on mastodon.social]

Since English is an Anglo-Saxon language, we refer to its speakers as "Anglophones". We missed a trick not being called "Saxophones".

This weekend's #AmperSand, from the rocky shore at Barns Ness, in East Lothian. #AmperSand #BeachArt #lettering

If you like AC/DC you should watch this, but if you DON'T like AC/DC you should REALLY watch this 😂 https://loops.video/v/aVoQcIAqf3 @music @[email protected] @[email protected] @aiop #loops #loopsvideo #VideoLoops #video #shorts #musicmemes #music #memes #acdc

Was gifted "go ogling" as an autocorrect of "googling" and henceforth that shall be its name.

This is amazing.

In the noble pursuit of knowledge, one must be prepared to retract, recalibrate, and republish. My previous assertions on balsamic vinegar's role in pickling have been... re-evaluated. Read the full, rigorous report here […]

I'd drop a pithy observation here if I had any. It's been ages since I was on the pith.

“He seeks to Excel in his field” was right there, Guardian!

Shut up and take all of my money!!!! #pickledonions

Encountering the fascists outside Waterloo iandunt.substack.com/p/encounteri...

For all that today's heavy rain showers are annoying, the grass is grateful and the sky is pretty.

Beware the laundry goblin! #caturday #cat #cats #catstodon #catsofmastodon #humor #humour

Explain!! 😻😆 OK! Here it is: The Japanese text (ネコ飛出し注意) translates to “Watch out for jumping cats” or more literally “Caution: Cats dashing out”. It’s a local road sign sometimes put up in Japanese neighborhoods where there are many stray or outdoor cats […] [Original post on mastodon.online]

Heard a new word today: procrasturbating 😂

it used to be that when you took a typing class they'd test you on a typewriter that didn't have any printing on the keys. lately i've been practicing solving rubik's cube and to really test myself i removed all the stickers. now i am a master and can solve it in no time every time.

So help me, I laughed #shitpost #meme #distractedboyfriend

Apparently, it's bad luck to mention a "MacBook" in a software company. You have to call it "the Scottish laptop".

Lost my Mahler virginity at orchestra rehearsal last night, and now I feel like my life is full of German instructions I can't read. Harrumph.

Putting that PhD to work!

The moon is so bright it is generating .21V on one of my solar panels! #moon

Flight of the Chonkries [sound on] #dog #dogs #dogstodon #dogsofmastodon #humor #humour #funny #cute

cause of death: lesbian yearning

Something interesting is happening to the fedi, I keep running into more accounts of people based in my side of the world, those close to East Africa (I even saw a Shona poem today, from further down south). I know it's not a mass migration but it's a snail spreading the word. Not a cheetah. So […]

Once the llama has locked on to you, this pattern is inevitable

…And with inferior graphics, too. https://syzito.xyz/@selzero/115162143737788641

Did you know your MacBook has a sensor that knows the exact angle of the screen hinge? It’s not exposed as a public API, but I figured out a way to read it and make it sound like an old wooden door. Source code and a downloadable app to try it yourself […] [Original post on hachyderm.io]

When I took my old boy to the vet last week I saw a poster for a cat that had been missing since May after escaping from a van during a house move, and because apparently I have a photographic memory for cats I remembered exactly where I petted that particularly kitty and text the location to […]

Red spider lily. #flowers #bloomscrolling

After a period of extensive and rigorous investigation I have concluded that the optimal number of cats to have with you in the kitchen while attempting to bake a cake is zero cats.

Well, that just looked like a vague slightly greenish glow to the north with my eyes. I would have thought it was light pollution from a town if I didn't know there's not a town that way from where I was set up. But hooray for long time exposures and fancy […] [Original post on mastodon.social]

[US Pol: death watch] If his hand gets any blacker, he won't let it vote

I can't stop laughing while looking at it, so I cropped it even more and now it's even blurrier but 🤣 I spent the whole week looking for them, sooo cute #skyard

A Tribe Called Quest - The Low End Theory (Jive, 1991; reissue) Not only my favorite rap record of all time, it planted the seeds of jazz in my 10-year-old brain, later germinating into a whole damn forest #nowPlaying #hiphop #Jazz #vinyl #bekrecords @vinylrecords

I approve.

I am dyeing. Fabric, that is. #crafts #dye

When your code works but no idea how

NO I DO NOT WANT AN AGENT ASSISTED SUMMARY OF THE DOCUMENT I'M READING. I read the author's synopsis, which is why I'm reading the damned paper. Using my biological intelligence to gain something from theirs. God, I hate the endless push to dumb everything down.

It’s less known but Theseus also had a car

The benefits of having an amazing public library system cannot be overstated. Almost any books, textbooks, media, vinyl records, they have it here. They have free printing services. Protect and resource libraries.

It was Erotic Book Night at the club this evening. I shared one of the stories by @robyneatseverything, to much approval - many thanks to them for such excellent smut!

I like big bundts and I cannot lie.

A purrito #caturday #cat #cats #catstodon #catsofmastodon #humor #humour

We're making home-made pizzas to a soundtrack of Studio 54 disco classics - cheese for the cheese! #delicious

My mum once told my wife that "every girl needs a pearl necklace" and years later whenever I remember I still cry laughing.

tnx to @patrickhadfield for pointing to this list ... having read only half of then over the years (two alongside my children, one only half-read but I still count that), the fact they've been and are still in some cases being banned makes me resolve to read the rest in the next while […]

@MintSpies @rhodri.biz absolutely! My 16yo really has a handle on my tastes and recommends me all sorts of good stuff nowadays. Latest example was a Japanese noise/rock act called Midori. I paid it back by telling him to check out Melt Banana.