a quiet, dark room solves most of my problems

evil wizard dropped a horse on me

aggressively chilling

he does not like the smiths

you are all a joy to have in class

My favorite scene from the Bible

at the end of the day it’s a me problem and a me solution

if hell is not real, we will simply have to create one for them on earth

this is major tom bluesky can you hear me

2230 songs and not one worth listening to

kitty is well, went to vet today

warm bread dipped in olive oil my beloved

today has been eventful

fire department had to save this guy from my wall today

there are kittens in my attic (again)

ceo of losing my wallet

waiter, more buzzwords!!

brain jar for brains

the bugs want my fruit but the bugs don’t run this city

returning to my regularly scheduled irrelevance

inside u are two wolves fuckin

beautiful selene

same joke, new year

have to wear a bomb (heart monitor) strapped to me for a week

god(s) exists because so do mangos

crying over the minecraft poem

i am so emotional rn i love you guys

send more gay people to mars

does my shrimp posture make me look nonchalant

first crime in space was a lesbian let’s go

simon says love yourself

i keep reading the book even tho i know the ending

they are executing me by farting squad at dawn

can any psychic tell if it just gets worse from here

i'm not ignoring anyone specifically but i am ignoring everyone broadly

smokin so much tonite even just reading this skeet gets u secondhand high

spiritually extending a blunt to all the people staying sober thru this

quickly quickly immediately immediately

can i also travel to the dark side of the moon

haunted by shit i can’t even remember

deferred for the third time this week, they don’t even know how much they want my blood

Every day I play a game called “is this story from my childhood funny or just really depressing” and every day I find that it’s the latter

recreationally taking personality disorder tests

haunting my insurance company’s DMs

udreeee ah

i’m weight stabilized now yet strangers still make comments about body. weird how normalized that shit is

the worst part of my week is having to fill up the weekly pill container

got deferred from donating blood cause my heart rate too high