If only.

the Trump administration is objectively pro-rape

Report: Stagnant Economy Forcing More Americans To Take Jobs As Infrastructure https://theonion.com/report-stagnant-economy-forcing-more-americans-to-take-1819576811/

Public smoking bans just got in under the wire, too. Younger folks might not realize how rare they used to be and how hard they were to enact.

Hakeem Jeffries Calls For Execution Of Central Park Five

man these are getting too real

these are bad, racist, disgusting people and no matter how much the powers that be attempt to normalize this kind of shit it is unacceptable

The Speculative Century (pejorative)

As best I can tell, the conservative ideal of American “culture” is being a dull asshole that doesn’t know fuck about anything, and resenting anyone who does.

North Korean-style. A Potemkin village of fake journalists.

That quite frankly is Nazi talk.

Young Jewish Americans? Also pretty much the entire rest of the world, but they’re not the ones providing the bombs, so why should their opinions matter?

wrote about the recent national controversy at my alma mater johnpaulbrammer.substack.com/p/samantha-f...

Trump Announces 5,000% Increase In All Numbers https://theonion.com/trump-announces-5000-increase-in-all-numbers/

I wrote about the dirty, demeaning, absolutely booming business of turning something like a shitty bigoted college essay into a shitty public career as a bigot, and also estimated how old Marine Todd would be today. defector.com/the-conserva...

When my wife told me Scandinavian languages don't have the letter 'R' I immediately thought: No way!

HBOMax has started showing a 'remastered' 4K Mad Men and they’ve messed things up so during Roger’s oyster vomit scene you can now see the crew men with the vomit hose on the right

🦀🦀

james cameron every couple of years for some reason:

Area Family Has No Idea Where Dad Gets Shirts https://theonion.com/area-family-has-no-idea-where-dad-gets-shirts-1819574264/

The president is a political cartoon of corruption come to life, a gaudy grifter who is selling off pardons and lining his pockets, building a golden ballroom and protecting his fellow sex predator elites, all the while regular Americans are suffering and struggling to make ends meet. Run on *that*

It’s always fun to see the clips of the Sunday political shows because you get to go “yep the news lets people lie to them for an hour and airs it”

I like to imagine that there's exactly one person out there who is pleased that they waited for this discount. Taking it further, I like to imagine that this discount was put up just for that person, who had the item in their wish list.

Being rejected is oppression to those who intend to be oppressors.

#birdbot

i’m being radicalized by peacock charging $10.99 per month and having A MILLION COMMERCIALS

it’s so weird to look around and realize like, tech and media are materially worse than a decade ago

Over and over I think back to that scene in The Matrix where Agent Smith said they designed The Matrix to look like the late 1990s because that was the height of human civilization and it seems more true every day.

I feel like one of the most underrated explanations for what's happening right now in global politics is that almost everyone has lost their minds.

That begs the question: why has everyone lost their damn minds? And the answer I think is Phone x COVID x Neoliberalism = everyone is insane.

Apple: Here you go, you gorgeous sons of bitches. iPadOS can work just like MacOS now. Stunning. Are you satisfied? Beautiful glass.

Every day.

"oh, don't forget to highlight, in bright red, the two-letter word in the tagline! the two letter word that's kind of the whole point of this clever ad campaign! the two letter word that links this show to the horror movie of the same name!" "no problem boss. i'm on it"

I do not believe this to be a necessary conversation.

Conservatives believe getting an A for nonsense is a human right but food isn’t.

In Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story, Mario and Luigi's level-up stat gains are bizarrely based on what level Bowser is currently at. If he is at a "good" level, they will be several times more powerful. The game does not tell you which levels are good and which are bad.

29 Nov 2025

Thinking about how Mike Ehrmantraut would handle the whole Pluribus situation.

a military strike on unarmed civilians is murder and a war crime

this dog’s about to kick my ass in a shaw brothers movie

Working Man Proud Of Job He Hates https://theonion.com/working-man-proud-of-job-he-hates-1819567149/

Almost seems like a quaint controversy now and honestly I don't remember many of the details, but I'm old enough to remember when "Hatred" was the big Steam controversy. They sure allowed it on the platform in any case. It's there.

Plan To Start Little Stationery Store Too Sad For Bank To Deny Loan https://theonion.com/plan-to-start-little-stationery-store-too-sad-for-bank-1819570568/