you’re so right, bus license plate; the year 2025 HAS been a POS

this is the most serving cunt I’ve seen from a car

from what I’m seeing the rapture is just happening to birds. guess it was Horus 🤷🏼‍♀️

I have witnessed the worst man (American) ask the docent at this castle if he can get in for free because he only wants to see one thing. he then called back “hey lady!” and his presumed wife was like “lady? oh I’ve gotten an upgrade today” girl! divorce him!

that’s what you deserve for inventing economics. get coned, bitch

that’s what you deserve for inventing economics. get coned, bitch

The human teenager’s evaluation upon seeing Landseer’s ‘Monarch of the Glen’ in person “Heh. Chonky deer”

Fuck, I love Glasgow. It’s like if you built a city out of just the things that scare conservatives

spotted in Edinburgh: man firmly directing his dog, a medium sized brown dog that’s carrying an absolutely massive branch, “Sadie! you’ve got to be careful”

The human teenager’s evaluation upon seeing Landseer’s ‘Monarch of the Glen’ in person “Heh. Chonky deer”

My dad didn’t listen to music? I have only heard him express positive sentiment about two songs in his life: “Twisting by the Pool” by Dire Straits and “Tusk” by Fleetwood Mac

Alan Alda seemed genuinely interested in the question I asked him at a presentation he gave on my campus.

spotted in Edinburgh: two men, standing on the stoop of the Royal College of Physicians building, smoking cigarettes

Fuck, I love Glasgow. It’s like if you built a city out of just the things that scare conservatives

no disrespect to the wisconsin wreck hunter community but it's very funny to me that this supposed famously elusive ship wreck was found exactly where the eyewitness report said it would be in the newspaper but nobody had bothered to check there

found out the worst person I know works for homeland security

If you take the average ultramarathon times of top 100 men and top 100 women, considering distances over 195 miles, the average time of women is *lower* than the average time of men. Sometimes men win. Sometimes women. The fastest women ultramarathon runners can beat *horses* over those distances.

you fool, you’ve condemned us all!

unsurprised there’s an @katie.bzky.team fan in Glasgow

Web 2.0 was a mistake. we should not have allowed people to respond to things on websites; for they are often wrong and usually annoying

The Human Teenager bought a brown leather vest at an antique shop yesterday and they’re wearing it this morning, so I greeted them with “good morning, minor Star Wars character”

I don’t want a shrine famed for its healing properties; I want one famed for harming properties. I got a list of people I need to be feeling pain in their actual human bodies

A funny exchange I saw written out in the women’s room of a library here: they had a sign saying they had period supplies for everyone, then someone crossed everyone out and wrote “women” and then someone scribbled that out and wrote “everyone” again We’re winning

My favorite thing about the 1960s Batman show is that sometimes the villains would have to go to court. Like The Riddler would show up wearing his Riddler shit talking about "I don't know what you're talking about"

proof of life

current discussion: the propriety of spending £60 to use a tourist bus so we can go to IKEA to buy hangers so “all of our clothes can be hung up” at this hotel

didn’t do any damage to the car this whole 900-ish mile trip; my first trip driving on the left side of the road. everyone say good girl zoe

right, who’s got one thumb and has 7 hours of driving today nvm found the second thumb

The FED may have cut its rate but the Periodic Zoë Rate (the rate that I (Zoë) update periodically) is remaining steady at whatever I said it was. This will offer assurances to the market that things remain unchanged (read: fucked)

Back in law school, I had the chance to ask a VP at one of the big banks about this. her take was “We’re all terrified”

proof of life

I’m not signing up for a protest because if I can’t make it, even if I send a note, everyone will be like “aw, where’s Zoë 🙁” and it’ll ruin the whole thing for everybody

right, off to bed. there better not be any news

this is our ethics of smell moment

the time change is fucking with me. you all have so much more discourse to do today but I’ll be going to sleep soon

fed encouraging more fedposting

what’s it called when it’s not a civil war but a conflict between two small, competing groups of dumbasses

My wife, bless her, is far too offline to appreciate this information, and it hurts my heart that I can’t share the excitement I feel

HEY! My first fill-in of the new @wfmu.bsky.social schedule is this Tues, Sept 16, at 3pm! The show will mostly (maybe entirely, haven’t timed it out yet) consist of an interview with Bill Janovitz about his imminent book about The Cars, interrupted by plenty of the band’s music. Don’t miss it!

he literally did the meme

Pet parrots which typically live alone (whilst those in the wild live in large flocks) were given the technology to call each other. They would use it for up to three hours a day, and developed favourite friends 💔 on.ft.com/3K05vhS

I’ve got a thesaurus and bad skin, put me behind the wheel of the new M5 and I’ll do it without the casual racism

honk the horn fastest wins

for the healthiest president ever he sure looks like shit

All clear was given. Edina PD called Richfield to warn. Fuck.

I’m hearing there’s a Shelter In Place order at Richfield HS

looks like I picked the right week to leave the country for an extended period of time

I say this as someone whose honors thesis was in argument theory and who ran a debate camp for a couple years: The man wasn’t a debater, he was a propagandist. He used liberal/left-coded bodies as fodder for his outrage machine. Fetishize “polite discourse” all you want, but he wasn’t its champion.

I’ve got a thesaurus and bad skin, put me behind the wheel of the new M5 and I’ll do it without the casual racism