ugh fine, I’ll do it

This successful moon mission shows the power of what we can do when we have a bunch of meetings where experts make the decisions

Saint Patrick looking at this like “oh, absolutely not”

Saint Patrick looking at this like “oh, absolutely not”

NASA failed to predict the real splashdown risk.

A bunch of men are out here openly admitting they knew this dude was grooming women to rape 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 IF YOU KNOW THIS SHIT YOU TELL PEOPLE IT

This successful moon mission shows the power of what we can do when we have a bunch of meetings where experts make the decisions

You can learn more about congressional dems at your local library

taking a big drink at the watering hole

Been watching Deadloch with my wife, and while I’m loving it, I fear I am going to drop some Australian swears in a meeting and then I’ll have to have a sit down chat about my future

Never let it be said that you can’t achieve your childhood dreams

So far, I have eaten three and now my tummy hurts a little but maybe if I eat the other three I’ll break through to like nirvana or something

The world is exhausting, I’m going to try eating six donuts to see if that improves things

sorry, the free market has spoken 🤷🏼‍♀️

Mispronouncing “potayto-potahto” so it sounds like “potayto-patorto”

just imagining the social media team at every one of those centrist think-tanks giving high-fives all around every time they make another dogshit post online. Just smiles and jubilation as they manufacture consent through five year old memes before fajitaritas for lunch at Chi-Chis

you should only be able to buy cars in colors and not anything in the greyscale/beige realm

might say hi to the flag we won after work today

Like, I love my friends but I would not think to smuggle them into the bar they were banned from. And now I’m torn, like “are some dog lovers unreasonable, or am I the broken one for not being open to the kind of love where I’d break the law for my beloved?”

I discovered Costco sells these wheels of cheese and, if I won the lottery I wouldn’t tell anyone but there would be signs

"i can't believe her name is katie tightpussy that is so immature and unserious" Do you think this is my government name. Do you think i write "Katie Tightpussy" at the DMV. Did a horse kick you in the head.

Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony

therapist is late

the way this country kicks itself in its own dick, then goes looking for a bigger boot

Happy Leland Melvin day to all who celebrate. 💚

the most aggravating thing about visiting Scotland or Italy for me was seeing all the eminently practical, small, efficient vehicles all throughout the streets, and then the manufacturers of those cars will turn around and only sell us these glorified vegas buffets on wheels

I picked the wrong day to start therapy

on one hand there are several factors weighing against the use of nuclear weapons; on the other hand, Trump is the 47th president and today is 4/7, so there’s that

Trans people were right about everything again dot jpeg

If you’re in line to vote, STAY IN LINE. STAY….. staaaaaaay…. OK COME HERE! Good voter!

much like bluesky, I’m also barely functioning most days

You know those “I got hurt in Jersey” billboards? I keep thinking those are for people who got dumped at the beach. Lost bets at Atlantic City? Ate pizza too soon out of the oven? Fell in a retention pond in Elizabeth?

the way this country kicks itself in its own dick, then goes looking for a bigger boot

Filed my taxes and I want my money back

someone smarter than me probably already has the answer, but to the extent MAGA is a religion-like movement attached to Trump specifically, he’s very clearly not got long left, and it doesn’t seem to have an obvious successor, so what happens after he dies?

Playing a game called “is this because it’s the day before shot day, or is it bigger underlying things that are bugging me”

if this site goes, the next step is that I’m physically coming to your house to chat

Amarillo, hands down

The loft in a converted church, in one of my favorite cities, is the cruelest of forbidden fruit.

add food to a movie title: The Bagel-bowski

Do I think the President is at Walter Reed, dying? No. I think he’s somewhere else, but also still dying in a somewhat slower way

if this site goes, the next step is that I’m physically coming to your house to chat

MUPPET TRENT REZNOR: what have I become / my swedish friend? SWEDISH CHEF: ervie wurr ye durr gurrs awerre en de ern

if I were a wannabe film producer who’s playing fast and loose with basic safety on the film site, the one word I would not want to say is “helicopter”

No clue but I’m still tickled by the time that the special guest on Masterchef Australia was the Dalai Lama

What the site needs is about 10,000 users who are the kind of folks who will find themselves in A Predicament. “So I accidentally bought seven parrots this weekend, but don’t worry I’ve got a brilliant idea”-kind of stuff. They’re the wholesome source of entertainment that we can all bond over.

Sending Hegseth to the Hague isn’t enough, we also need to raze Forest Lake and salt the ashes to prevent this from happening again