goes something like this: Jesus says to James: soon I will be arrested. James, crying: but Rabbi, if they arrest you, what will I do? Jesus: don’t worry, James, they’re going to arrest you too

For inspiration, I looked at that top 100 movies list AFI put out, and Duck Soup basically is A Muppet Movie already

“So your opinion on how to fix health insurance is that they should give you the money back at the end of the year if you don’t use it…. do you know how anything - let me rephrase this; how confident are you that you know what health insurance is?”

“we need a Muppet movie where…“ No. Stop We are putting too much on the backs of the Muppets: we need another franchise of good-hearted fools and chaos agents to mess with the conventions of genre.

2026 basically

I could never be a pollster, I’d wind up asking people who gave certain responses “don’t you think that’s a bit stupid?”

how frustrating it’s gotta be for an automaker where like every market wants an efficient car that’s no bigger than absolutely necessary, and then there’s the US Market, where you basically have to make a war wagon because men need to feel virile instead of going to therapy

This GOOD BOY ran onto the course during the Women’s Cross-Country Skiing Team Sprint event, crossing the finish line and being automatically recorded by OMEGA’s photofinish camera 😆

short about working at the coast guard

overheard at the capitol: young republican page, to another young republican page: “welp, we’re powerless”

Dang, that was also Robin Hood’s job

my toxic trait is pronouncing it “ch-vur-ches”

ok but technically, aren’t Waymo’s cars ALSO human drivers?

"do you have the courage to hate the voters" I am a hater so yes yes I do

overheard at the capitol: young republican page, to another young republican page: “welp, we’re powerless”

“did everyone have a good weekend?” ‘can I say no? or will it make it weird? If I say no, can I go home?’

using NLP in my briefings to make the judge want to grant my motions

I’m exhausted

the voters were right to reject her

I think I have good ideas

qs a pic of u in ur fav dress I’m 6’3” in these heels, which I enjoy the everliving fuck out of

stay safe, LA peeps.

the voters were right to reject her

re-upping this. The current extent of things to be done is: remove/replace gas tank and fuel line so I can safely weld in new floor panels.

I mean yes technically a 2-post lift would fit in the garage, and it would save my back but every other statement about this lift drags the outcome of the situation from “good idea” to “bad idea”

This is not a drill: 5-speed honda wagon for sale.

the people who weren't on cohost for the 5 minutes cohost existed must also learn of Bitch House

I'm going to promote the heck out of this: The Minneapolis Foundation has $4 million in grants available to small businesses for everything from rent and payroll costs to legal help and temporary relocation. More details and the application here: www.minneapolisfoundation.org/stories/comm...

I remember a similar style of article (fabricated scenario, but the factual mechanics of how it kills you) published during the very early moments of COVID Clearly that didn’t stop people. I think we need to bring back public shaming for people who could get (their kids) vaccinated but don’t

I’m visiting SF next month; gonna scream about my agents like we’re all characters in an ITYSL sketch, to try and blend in

a watch that you cannot ship internationally anymore because of CITES regulations designed to reduce demand for materials made from endangered species (like corals) because I guess doing it in colored enamel wouldn’t be decadent enough for the 1970s jet set

anyways, at least I’m cute and mostly tolerable

me (seeking comfort): I feel like I can’t ever express myself or my opinions because I’m not like an expert at anything, so why would anyone listen to me? a person near and dear to me: well life is short so you probably shouldn’t waste your time talking about things if you’re not good at them by now

I once had the opportunity to say “3/4 ton… oh my wife had one of those.” Dude looked like he was gonna have an aneurism

breaking news from Powderhorn: Three crows are fighting with one squirrel over what appears to be most of a donut in a plastic bag. The crows have an edge on intelligence and numbers, but the squirrel has little hands and that appears to be the determining factor in this battle. Back to you, Chet.

Gonna listen to a looksmaxxer, and just reply with “oh, like in Zoolander”

I’m sorry but if you’re not going to do something incredibly petty, like declaring it “Walter Mondale appreciation day… and also Ronald reagan day ig” you’re not being enough of a hater for the moment

and we’re no closer to finding the man who did it

You may laugh, but the Macbeths are a much better role model for a marriage than Romeo and Juliet. They discuss their problems (killing the king of Scotland), share their hobbies (killing the king of Scotland), and resolve their conflicts (by killing the king of Scotland).

I think the thing that enrages me the most about Musk is that he presents himself as some sci-fi nerd hero doing everything possible to save humanity by going to new planets. If your plan for saving humanity doesn’t include the people already on earth, you’re just a racist piece of shit.

Voters who change their minds or voting intentions don’t necessarily do so in a gradual and clear right-to-center trajectory; you’re just as likely to get folks who WANT big changes, especially if the status quo’s not working for them. Build and sell a dramatic vision, and the voters will come

and we’re no closer to finding the man who did it

The Zoë Alice Lastname For Governor I Guess if Nobody Else is Gonna Step Up and Make Klobuchar Have to Fight for it campaign is at a crossroads: like, I’ll do it, but I’ll need to assemble a team. I’m gonna have to ask people for money. I’ll need a logo that makes you look cool Too much for one Zoë

Picking things up again, I’m only midway through chapter 3, but… um, is this a comedy?

If you’re concerned about your brain health, remember that mixing up metaphors is a herring in the coalmine

I’ll put it to you like this: I would not have to work that much harder for the answer to plausibly be me.

man did not understand that Gil Scott-Heron poem

Replacing just one (1) Hakeem Jeffries with a pool hustler would solve 90% of the party’s problems. Just someone who understands that the game is not all there is to the game.

Now Listening;

Surprising precisely no one: Of course it was CBP doing reckless shooting at the border, using a weapon that didn’t belong to them, that caused this (deserved) freakout by the FAA.