RFK sprinting to Texas, fork and knife in hand, napkin tied around neck, legs just a circular blur.

Every coder in 2027 taking a call from the boss who fired them in 2026

Americans will yell at Europeans for not having aircon then send their children to days-long football practice in 90+ heat with no water breaks.

JD Vance pointed out he's a Millennial during during an asinine anecdote because he was put here by bitter Gen Xers to portray Millennials as so juiceless that we should never be allowed to hold office.

This is what happens when you boil yourself in the rhetoric from the people who brought you, “soak your bullets in bacon grease so the Taliban can’t get to heaven.”

I knew Panera had gone down in quality but I just went and it was the worst thing I have eaten in recent memory.

Korgoth of Barbaria

"Glonzo" is basically just Bluesky Leftist for "I don't like your counterargument."

Someone at CPB must’ve taken a bath on Kalshi.

Ask him if he knows what his Totenkopf tattoo means, too.

In college we were road-tripping from RI to Florida for Spring Break. We got pulled over for speeding outside of Atlanta by a motorcycle cop who informed us that "no one goes that fast through Georgia", to which I replied (from the back seat) "Sherman did".

all those guys on the front lawn of the white house tonight are there because it's not their weekend with their kids and i think it is beautiful when men sync up their custody cycles

Last image from tonight (short film in the morning): this brother out here with his Singer sewing machine, gifting people a custom embroidery on their jerseys and hats with the name and the date, was more artistic than anything at Burning Man and ad gorgeous as a Caravaggio. Magic! Goodnight.

Important nuance here is that Trump is against this because he sees "taking children against their will and having your way with them" as his beat.

If nobody's beating him up to earn 15 Silver Points, I'm out.

I personally don't want to see a Secretary of Defense give a presser sporting a deep vee but I guess I'm just built different.

In the US we call them "lynch mobs."

Not only is the White House cockfighting ring not coming down, he's going to insist all elections be settled by cage match while he watches from his bunker.

Very cool to plod through the year hearing other Devils fans tediously intone “we need stellar goaltending to win a Cup” and then watch every SCF game end like 10-9.

"They pictured a veteran English teacher who was still upset that cursive is no longer taught." Notable that their imagined opponent is a woman with a lukewarm reactionary centrist cultural complaint, and not a professional with decades of experience in their field.

i believe the american experiment is fundamentally good and worth preserving

Tedious discourse, but to me a big tell you’re now from the city is if you‘ve been around and give directions based on where things used to be. “No yeah go down Clark and bear right when the road splits at the White Hen.”

Half the internet is just kids in their 20s with the worst haircuts imaginable yelling at 40yo women for wearing ankle socks.

You can tell changing the company's name to Meta was a strong idea when five years later newspaper subheaders still have to remind you it used to be Facebook.

We should never stop being angry at how our bosses got duped by some of the stupidest people on the planet.

The updated Superfans sketch is going to be four translucent gutter racists eating dry pork sandwiches and complaining that whole milk is too spicy.

FROG: why did you sting me? won't you die too? SCORPION [firing up jetpack]: lol later bitch

Alexa, play “Mediocrity Rules” #CaliforniaPrimary

Album cover for a scary seeming band your older sibling listens to and then you finally play the album one day and it’s just ska

"Let's get people addicted to getting kicked in the crotch before we roll out killing their dog."

Frantically asking Jeeves how to spike the football to company execs without getting fired.

TRANS RIGHT'S ARE HUMAN RIGHT'S - dashare.zone ADMIN

Marcia Lucas’ passing has me thinking about how many female editors take the approach of, “I’m not going to handhold you and explain all these weird little guys; you’re going to have to pay attention to the world” and what strong storytelling that is.

let's be clear, let's be very clear, let's be incredibly clear about something: Marcia Lucas is why you love Star Wars. She's why Star Wars worked. She's why it has heart. She's responsible for the in-media-res beginning, she's responsible for basically everything charming and unique about >

Red states, famously excited about foreigners entering.

I've dabbled in Simpsons memes in the past but I'll never top this one, which took me a full day. This is probably as much alt-text as I've ever written!

Dammit monkey's paw, I meant Anthropic's Claude.

lol feds must've taken a bath on these bets if they got involved

I regret to inform you that the Jets continue to be the Jets.

First time anyone on Bluesky has seen someone touching grass.

Gonna be a brand new level of embarrassment for Texas when Paxton beats Talarico.

The life stage between “losing my friends because they moved away” and “losing my friends because they died” is “losing my friends because they told me they like the song Hey There Delilah.”

Instant 300 EVs for any Democrat that campaigns on "If the Republicans win you will be legally required to hang out with Bari Weiss."

MASSIVE fan of this one:

Republican President advocates immediately granting millions of Muslims citizenship.

Kinda feels like we’re nearing a point where some citizens just start hacking at members and enablers of the regime and most others just kinda shrug about it.

Oh god someone’s flying a plane into the Sears Tower later this year, aren’t they.