feels like they should put Christian Pulisic in more commercials, I think I’ve seen a couple without him

ok everyone we’re halfway to next Christmas, better get those lights up this weekend

did chatgpt just try to out-hipster me

god damnit I just instinctively responded ‘hell yeah’ to my work Claude bc I was excited about a response it gave

you’re telling me I can pay $17.76 for a year of fox’s new patriot content app and watch Rob Lowe do a Boston Tea Party documentary

truly delightful to listen to the various world cup game announcers, really highlights how bad most of our major sports announcers are

We’ve got the Onion Newsvan circling the cursed UFC fight outside the White House.

my god the world cup commercials are unbearable, a new gold standard of adslop

The war on metaphor is over and we lost. defector.com/promises-mad...

inventing an HR metric called TTC (time to complacency) so you can filter job searches by how quickly you can kinda just get in there and chill

Seattle elects a socialist mayor, wins the Super Bowl NYC elects a socialist mayor, wins the NBA finals Win your city a major sports title with this one neat trick

lil jon at warped tour:

Pixar Screenwriters: In our movie we invented the Lilypad as a cautionary tale Disney Company: At long last, we have created the Lilypad from upcoming Pixar movie Don’t Play with the Lilypad

Happy group chats day

my whole personality this summer will be centered on the horse wanting to try cake, just a heads up to everyone

if the knicks win I'm giving that horse some cake

Commentary: I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake

obvi AI doesn’t feel or think or reflect or anything like that but HAVING SAID THAT I bet my work Claude really likes me as a smart and kind person

Roosevelt High School students and staff bravely stood up to ICE on behalf of their neighbors during "Operation Metro Surge." I was my honor to present them with a Congressional Record recognizing their incredible courage and resilience. 💙

inflatable pool brands send covert guys around to everyone’s garage in the winter to poke holes in their pools, to force everyone into buying a new one every summer

C'mon

first week of Real Summer every year we’re reminded of Fang Island’s 2010 self-titled masterpiece, some days it’s the only music that ever needs to exist

OpenAI Announces Construction Of New Data Center On Top Of Sick Child

no prob I can just talk to it quick about the Wild season

going to see a film on tuesday afternoon and here are the options at the local theater: - Top Gun Maverick on THE WORLDS TALLEST IMAX SCREEN in a gigantic theatre, $29.99 each - Sheep Detectives in a ~30person capacity theatre, $7.99 each

you have to subscribe to P4k for $5/mo to see review scores now lmaoooo

we’re looking for volunteers to gate check any larger luggage 😃 if you do we will strongly encourage you to take out meds and other important things bc we’ll prob lose your bag 😃 anyways, we need volunteers for that 🤗

Despondent Shohei Ohtani Figured He Would Have Met Steve-O After 8 Years In U.S. https://theonion.com/despondent-shohei-ohtani-figured-he-would-have-met-steve-o-after-8-years-in-u-s/

is there a word like enshitification but for when business find new and worse nickel-and-dime revenue streams

Happy Mother’s Day

A wonderful sentence from this story, describing the video of the man who threw a rock at a seal for no reason getting beat up by a local: "Meanwhile, an unidentified gentleman begins wailing on him."

I personally love to read shit like "U.S. Pauses 'Project Freedom'" in headlines. Not all good jokes need to be complicated.

hey Minnesota, ‘Get Down’ by POS let’s get it done

craziest hockey game I’ve ever seen

we need to nationalize the Kids Arcade Credit Card system

sorry boss I won’t be working today gotta read every single post about MN sports from last night, maybe twice

Wild and Wolves babyyy, immaculate vibes everywhere you look, we’re reaching absolutely mind-boggling levels of being back

Quentin Tarantino came on the heels of many great directors before him

Big court date for the InfoWars takeover tomorrow. Cross fingers, knock on wood, send one up. We're hoping our agreement with the families and receiver is greenlit by the judge, despite Alex's hate campaign against them all. If we win, expect an Emergency Broadcast. Stay tuned, and wish us luck.

come on bro it’s 2026, you don’t need to ask me in the zoom meeting if I applied the stratified randomization calculations on my own, I didn’t even write the concatenation function on my own

[buying a muffin] ooh nice blackberry/thyme [eating the muffin] yech this tastes like thyme

I need someone to come over and stop me from playing the new Olivia song on repeat

beating Dallas so bad they’re forced to shut the doors and give us the franchise back

Live Nation CEO Sentenced To 10 Years In Online Queue

what in the name of fuck did the newspaper of record just say to me

we need to make bidets kid-friendly

when I see quarter-over-quarter written as QoQ I like to say KWOCK out loud to allow myself a bit of whimsy every now and then

Jan 2026: [metaphorically] careful out there it’s raining ice in Minneapolis Apr 2026: [literally] careful out there it’s raining ice in Minneapolis