we got your genetic tests back and it’s definitely maybelline

There are some people who go into law enforcement because encounters with bad cops made an impression, so they wanted to do it the right way. This mentality does not exist in ICE. The agency's entire concept is based on hate and wanting to hurt people and disrupt their lives.

Life is a Crapshoot

The Phrase of the Day is “Connedsolation Prize”

The Word of the Day is “Cuntsistently”

Mr. President, is that you?

i accidentally bought family size wheat thins instead of party size this whole night is bullshit

Boycott by Default

I’m feeling like a Republican in this filter

Nightmare at MaraLago

MAGA Crisis Line

Flavored Seltzer: What If Bubbly Water Had Just Enough Of A Shadow Of Flavor To Annoy You?™️

Faking News, this just in …

Democrats have shut down the government …

Whines of the White House wine collection

Is it ever very little to one’s chagrin?

some people's third eye is their butthole

@craftyartgentleman.bsky.social Subtlety downgrade a band Lady Gu Gu

Breaking News

Transgender bullets?

Welcome to the One Liner Diner

It’s not always the dogs fault

And now or something completely different …

If it’s a hoax, why was epstein murdered or why did he commit suicide? ghislaine is still doing time over a hoax? When did trump become an FBI informant? All of those pics of trump & epstein with very young girls… The king of the world should be frying in a chair.🤬😡 @humpdayhashtags.bsky.social

Breaking news, this just in …#PoliticalSatire #ComedySkit #BreakingNews #FakeNews

I feel like a Republican in this hat

Poof! I feel like a Republican in this hat #politicalSatire #FunWithFilters #ComedySkit

Breaking news #PoliticalSatire #ComedySkit

The Windy City #politicalsatire #comedyskit #FunWithFilters

Made my mom the most beautiful Mother's day card out of my psychiatrists bills.

ME: Magic 8-Ball, should I go out? MY BAG OF COCAINE: Yeah. And drive fast. And get hookers.

I've been carrying this inside me for a long time and I'm just going to say it, The Gruesomes from the Flintstones were just a rip off of the Adams Family.

🎶You're a, Pope-killer, Eye-liner, Couch-fucker, don't you mess around with me!🎶

Trump is an absolute lunatic. He won’t be around forever, thank god.

I was invited to an orgy once but it was just because the host wanted everyone to leave.

@dianeiam.bsky.social @imthatholly.bsky.social @bellalarue.bsky.social @grossmzconduct.bsky.social

If you’re tempted to reply to a joke post with: •picky factual correction •humorless literalism •self righteous scolding •your strident personal politics …Stop. You’re sucking the life out of the platform. Take your typing hand and slap yourself across the face instead.

Fruit cocktail is the most disappointing of all the cocktails.

ah yes boo berry the spookiest of all the cereals

This filter has got some cling to it #PoliticalSatire #FunWithFilters

Help! I’ve fallen in this filter and I can’t get up #PoliticalSatire #FunWithFilters

Haven’t heard much about queefs lately. We can do better. Let’s make some noise people

I want to go out. But, with fun people. Wasn’t the best way to say no.

Feeling like a billion bucks…

Casually looking away from the driver at the red stop light after I smiled and waved at his dog.