people always ask me why i drink so much iced coffee. i actually have a genetic condition where my body doesn’t produce it’s own iced coffee. so i have to make my own and drink it every single day.

all three stars together

Bobcat is short for Robertcatherine

Captcha: Are you alone? Me: Uh. Yeah. Captcha: Kiss all the squares with butts in them. Me: What?! Captcha: You heard me. Me: [leans in to kiss the squares with butts in them] Captcha: LMFAO OMG I can't believe you did that

Fuck around, fond ant

We know that one of the best things we can do for the environment is to build dense housing in walkable neighborhoods with robust transit. Sprawl not only results in loss of forests and farmland, it increases green house gases and contributes to driving which results in more toxic runoff from tires

I Can't Believe It's Not Blubber!

This quote made the rounds a decade ago and it's equally true today.

System of a Down Comforter

When you get super stoned and chase your buddies around, that's

Should we separate the fart from the fartist?

10 Things I Hate About Unicycles

Jelly Roll is an abbreviation for Jealous Roll

the babadooks of hazzard

THE FLOOR IS STRAVA

Who up gleeking they spit

Hoarding disease? Oh you mean kippling depression.

become ungovobernurbleurble

Don't know about Twitter, but this is my favorite Tumblr post

what do we want? OBJECT PERMANENCE when do we want it? WHEN DO WE WANT WHAT

30-50 feral hogs would never

Moonar landing Lunar manding

Looking forward to reading about Pete's Florida Man death whenever it happens

She's now an unemployed vagabondi

Pam Gondi

It actually is

jupiter wishes you a very happy trans day of visibility 🏳️‍⚧️

Unsung?!? This is Sir Mix-A-Lot erasure

A Where's Waldo audiobook

More like Constantiyeple

post-nut sincerity

It's hard to overstate how much I love little spatulas

I'm free as a biiiiird!!! *poops on a car*

This is why every software engineer should have to watch The Sorcerer's Apprentice at least once a year.

Advertise your account with a gif

At least it wasn't on a passenger ferry 🤢

you missed the best one

please enjoy these classic Moon Tweets™

Congrats to the Seattle Seahawks for winning the Superb Owl

Laddie dong legs hehehe

This photo is funnier than it has any business being people.com/hairdresser-...

GM: Charisma check. Mamdani: [rolls natural 20] GM: that’s a d6 how did you Mamdani: [direct to camera] Did you know you can check out board games at your local public library? 😊

Least realistic aspect of All Creatures Great and Small on Masterpiece is how the top is always down on the car they drive around.

Hey it's ya boy Meriwether Lewis

All my buddies who don't have a phone or tablet? They are my appless chaps.