Why am I being punished

Dear old man wearing a pro-fascist t-shirt: Fuck you. You are what is wrong in this country.

Checking the news every morning like

When the reward for growing up with so much criticism is hearing „You’re just too sensitive!

being a cat person is so crazy bc you live with someone who is undeniably annoying and you're always thinking "maybe i should get another cat"

timeline cleanse, sound on

3lb bags of onions were on sale for 68 cents so now I have 8 1-cup bags of diced onions in the freezer

Stella the eternal kitten is a THIEF. I was going bonkers the other day looking for a pack of phone cables that I got and I KNEW had been on the coffee table in the living room. SOMEHOW Jack located them on the opposite side of the house under the bed, in Stella’s sanctum.

Unfortunately, due to the lack of serifs, I did spend a solid minute wondering what the musician Weird Al had to do with all of this.

Gotta participate in this year's -tober challenge

The gods will not be watching.

Portland isn’t “war ravaged”. Chicago doesn’t need “saving”. Tylenol doesn’t cause autism. People still care about the Epstein files. Escalators breaking down is not news worthy or an emergency. Medbeds are not the answer. Keep resisting fascism. Ignore the distractions. Fight back.

It's always dangerous to spout random facts, but it's something we have to do.

Of all the things they could have picked to play with... That's not a toy, you bloody fools—it's a recreational explosion!

Well don't I feel stupid

Aye, you are slowly but surely realizing your potential as an old bastard.

#cats and #dogs Poor pup!

From the medical building where I got my boobs squished you can see this giant gay snail across the freeway at the Arboretum.

Ya girl has officially been prescribed a CPAP

Surprising no one I have ever shared a room with, but especially not Jack, my sleep test results show that I have mild apnea with an average of 9 incidents per hour. This terrifies me because it means I don’t even get 10 minutes of uninterrupted sleep at a time.

Jack got me to watch Terminator and in the process we learned that T3 is not streaming ANYWHERE. Anyways, now I have a dvd combo set of T3 and Salvation that cost $8.

Attn: cat-havers: the Yeowww! brand catnip bananas are well worth the cost. www.chewy.com/yeowww-catni...

Oh bye Stella.

Is there anything funnier than watching a cat try to wash its own neck?

I also feel like a horrible cat mom because Stella’s been battling with an ulcer on her lip and we let it go too long before taking her to the vet :(

On today’s episode of why is Jess having an existential crisis: what if everyone who’s ever said they were my friend was just pretending cause they had to

One of our most popular tees of the year is back and here to stay, available now in the Yeteemart; TRANS RIGHTS!!! This tee features an energetic design by @kduffles.bsky.social with $6 from each tee sold donated to Transgender Law Center theyetee.com/transrights

Store policy: don’t wear AirPods/headphones on the clock Employees: *wear AirPods/headphones on the clock* New manager: btw it’s a safety violation and you WILL be written up for it Employees: *pikachu face*

I can’t believe it’s been a whole year since we bullied Chicago animal control into letting us take Mango home. Where does the time go?

I love steam lol

I’d like to thank my coworker Crystal, the lady who makes all the pizzas, for the runner beans from her garden. She often judges my terrible lunches.

For the end of your tale is but the beginning of another... The tale of an extremely lewd Mamool Ja dance!

You can’t fool me that ones a chicken

dark comedy. 🌑 #ffxiv #art

In other news, mango is going to get her kitty vaccines tomorrow and I get to go to the vagina doctor

I’m still mad that Starbucks cancelled me, the Java Chip Frappuccino.

Y’all the people who name shit in ffxiv are so much smarter than me

me: what do you call baby bush babies? jess: *googles* jack you're never gonna believe this me: *screeches in ffxiv* THAT'S MY FAVORITE MINION

We did it... We spread joy through fear, and lived.

"Dr. House" those are usually called hospitals I think

Oh no

OH NO

I am tired of always being exhausted. Maybe when the results for my sleep test come back my life will change.

Our aim, lest you wonder, is to fight for the future of all lives.