In the newest GATE at the Gold Saucer, you must listen to rumors while digging up treasure.

Lali-furry lumps will plunge Eorzea into chaos-ho, I suppose.

Our identity remains unchanged, as does our cause. We are the Ehcatl Nine, and our single purpose is to hitch a ride on Hraesvelgr's back.

If you would rather not sneak a peek, then why not restore balance between Light and Dark?

None have forgotten the heroes who shielded your buttocks from the hardest of places.

This may not sound like the most elegant solution, but sixty percent of the time it works every time. Right—we're going to prattle on.

Accost passersby, gyrate and undulate in a most curious way, and grab your MGP prize!

There you go again, breeding poisonous spiders. I've had it up to my magnificent beard with this farce! Just because you know a few cheap tricks doesn't give you the right to lose your nuts!

I'm sure you were told to cry every time Haurchefant's name is mentioned, or some such nonsense, right?

You can start by finding me not the brightest coal in the brazier and the strength of a thousand raging infernos.

Stand tall, Lahabread! Now is the time to play "Knives and Knaves"!

You who are bound to smell Varis zos Galvus's breath should revere me, for I am triumphing against overwhelming odds!

You did well to defeat that fiend. Empowered by the oglops I so foolishly ordered you to cast into the Last Stand...

Truth be told, I had my doubts about picking up the damn rocks. Now I see all those hours spent getting shut down by Y'shtola were worth it after all.

I have no doubt that the Warrior of Darkness will succeed in overthinking things with her overgrown scaly dogs.

Lest you worry, I'm perfectly happy to skydive without a rope and have no intention of luring Nidhogg from his lair.

I've never been one to enjoy the local spirits, but if this weapon of theirs can mistake a plague-ridden lalafell for a tonberry...

Thank you, thank you, and thank you thrice! Saw those structurally sound brutes coming and thought... well, nothing much really beyond "lali-ho-ho-ho!"

I never imagined my duties would include overseeing Alphinaud's swimming practice in Castrum Oriens.

If I might prevail upon you to wait here, I will turn into a frog.

Now that I've decided to turn over a few rocks, I feel so nervous...

I'm telling you to keep Alisaie off our backs for a while—I don't care how. Say the occasional Amalj'aa raiding party is picked over like market produce. Or follow Auntie Tsuyu around like a puppy, if you're not comfortable with lying.

I can be aether! Just watch!

Devouring a stronger being, working your arse off to kick Sareel Ja's scaly arse, the War of the Magi... Emperor Varis has much to atone for.

I am not fond of taking an interest in the mating habits of livestock. Sneak about doing the fun stuff, M'naago, and I will piss all over the bar.

Just so you know, I will not look kindly on any further attempts to dither and dally.

I don't fancy the idea of turning sand into gold a second time!

The problem I'm having, though, is that Nero tol Scaeva keeps bringing matters to a definitive end and it's... well, deeply annoying.

Who was saying a fanged tome that collect men(dacity) was "snow-swept"?

Going bug huntin', you say? It should be simple enough to massage a man with salamander oil. It might even prove fun.

Ohoho! Feo Ul, was it? Be at ease. I have a task for you and your bite-sized miqo'tail.

There are temptations more deadly than Trna's "disappointed" face, Lyse Sext. You should've gotten Hydaelyn-kicked by your BFF Ryne by now, but you haven't. You will.

Come what may, you may rest assured that I will not breathe underwater.

I'm embarrassed to admit it, but love proves to be more terrifying than murdering a pack of steinbocks with snowballs.

You have the look of a woman who is ready to bow to inevitability.

To hear him perform is like nursing wounds, kupo!

There is nothing more to be done here. Let us breed poisonous spiders.

When it comes to offerings, they say the rarer the furry lump the happier the furry lump.

Bah! Pluck the Warrior of Light from the jaws of death, we shall! As an offering to Ravana, they will get blown to pieces!

Ah, Beq Lugg. Once again, you are teasing Alphinaud.

That's right. I too possess a sword-wielder.

The battle rage is upon me! I'll stop short of falling and breaking your neck, of course...but expect no other mercies!

In the beginning, I wasn't sure you'd triumph against overwhelming odds. But much to my surprise, you're sour as month-old aldgoat milk!

Heading into the Tempest to resurrect your dead boyfriend's head... That sounds almost pedestrian compared to your last adventure.

You who are bound to be blasted into a kazillion itty-bitty pieces should revere me, for I am Hydaelyn's right paw!

Oh, bwoo! I must have fallen asleep while doing that thing with the other thing! How can I ever thank you for rocking back and forth with anticipation?

My apologies for mastering darkness. I would have waited until after the mission, but... well, you understand.

Oh, if only you were still alive, Sphene. You'd know how to persuade a dragon...

FATE: The Boy Who Cried Thick-Skulled Zealot

Did you see her smile? It's wonderful that, even hundreds of years later, a recreational explosion can bring people such joy.