And congratulations to that lucky fan who won the one in... one chance of a VIP experience! 😂

Steddyhands

I don’t think Americans with hypertension and various other treatable conditions deserve to die. Sorry to get so partisan, but that’s how I feel.

"Wendy's is closing 350 underperforming locations" Me:

RIP, gone overnight like Spirit airlines 😔

The US is falling into shambles , but sure....let's celebrate Rich People Halloween. We give up.

Who knew a little rock crab alien in a hamster ball would soothe me on this day 😌♥️

👀

Father & son

Everything Everywhere All at Once and Grogu!

💀

I haven't been to a Red Sox game in years, but nothing will get me off my comfy couch and into an extremely uncomfortable fenway bleacher seat like Heated Rivalry theme night at Fenway 😭♥️🏒

Happy Miss Congeniality Day to all who celebrate!

Alex Jones taking everything the Onion says extremely seriously is one of the funniest new genres' of comedy

Blow it up like the whale.

I still hold like..12 shares of stock just so I can give my "fuck you" 👎🏼 every time there's a vote LMAO

lol

I love hit television show Our Flag means Death

We're off to a good start here theonion.info

With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars. We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director. Please stand by for more.

Every time Rhys said the word "dildo" tonight, a dildo got its wings 😌 🪽

Hey.

Thank you, Danielle, for your contribution to our fellow pirate! It’s because of @dbsaveofmd.bsky.social’s donation that fox Robin Hood Edward Teach exists! We are a family around here. I hope y’all enjoy! 💜💜

Happy Rhys Boston Day for those celebrating 🎉🎇

"no one's ever asked us to change that blah blah blah".... Ok I'm sorry I'm the first person ever to call you out for doing it wrong, but staahp 🙃🙄

BEHOLD!! Ed as Disney’s animated Robin Hood by @megofmd.bsky.social!! Look at his adorable teeth & his confident pose! He is GLORIOUS 🤩 My earliest crush meets my current one. A perfect circle 🏴‍☠️ Have you ever seen something so perfect?!

“… the acting director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has secretly blocked publication of a report that concludes COVID-19 vaccines are a significant boost to public health…the report found that COVID vaccines drastically minimize risk of hospitalization after catching the virus.”

If you see this, post something you saved bc it's funny

The company that makes Magic the gathering is really smart, if they don't draw you into playing with the regular game, they'll get you with the cross-fandom tie-in theme decks 😭♥️ Buying up all the Final Fantasy cards, I don't even CARE

Of course the wifi isn't working.... #Artemis

YAAAAAAAAAAAaH!!!! #ARTEMISII

#ArtemisII let's gooooo!!

#25, Section 4 *points enthusiastically, yet hopelessly* 25th Amendment - Presidential Disability and Succession | Constitution Center share.google/UNvzPc32PZic...

Come on then, and remove him.

shame on you if you support the new harry potter series in any shape or form.

lots of great replies but these first two absolutely sent me (via threads)

Even a juggler usually asks first "hey, wanna see me juggle!?"

Obviously this blue part is an original character

MLB Umpires Replaced By Lawn Chair Representing Strike Zone

“It’s just boys having fun”

A remarkable photo from #NoKings in DTLA from Connor Sheets of @latimes.com www.latimes.com/california/l...