Just to give everyone a heads up, with the AI bubble popping soon, this is your last chance to tell the annoying clankers you know they are idiots before everyone realises they are idiots. If you want to be able to say 'I told you so' you need to act fast!

Cow -> Cows Pig -> Pigs Horse -> Horses Sheep -> Sheep?!?! Did someone steal the plural word for sheep? Because it's definitely gone. Also missing is the word for more than one bit of debris.

do you have any idea how much you have to piss somebody off to make them change their gauge

From a game design perspective this is a really nicely designed rule. It functionally takes the most powerful players out of the game in a way that feels triumphant, so the field of players is always changing.

We went out to the West End of London on a Saturday night. It was brilliant. Tube in, a meal (Dim-Sum) and a play (Titanique) then home on the tube. Titanique is incredible. Also Adrianne Langley, who played Rose, is now on the list of performers that I will go to see anything they are in.

You can't be a main character unless you dramatically change your haircut every two years. Otherwise flashbacks won't work.

This is a really good articulation of why it feels like I (and Marie! And probably you and lots of others) feel like I am losing my mind daily

Ooo, la-dee-da, hark at 'im with his megabytes. We booted our systems off a single 5¼-inch floppy and couldn't fit nowt more than 360KB on one of those

Gigabytes...? TERABYTES?!? My first hard drive was 20MB and I never filled it up. In my day we had 16k and we made the best of it, lad.

Hey. It's pretty grim out there, but I've just discovered it's fun talking about computers like an old person. 'In my day CPUs had a single number, the higher the number the faster it was. That was it.' 'We didn't even have GPUs growing up, they came later. Before then everything was 2D.'

Did they use A.I. to generate the most unwelcome WhatsApp notification of all time? Also 'Black Friday Week.' is a strange concept chronologically. Friday Week, implies Friday Friday.

[donut shop] Boss: I finally did it Worker: You sold secretly MDMA-laced donuts to customers?? Boss: Just a couple [squad car] Cop: I wanna be firm with perps but detached, without anger Cop2: Your wisdom's a gift. I'm so lucky I'm your partner Cop: I'M THE LUCKY ONE

It's weird to live in a time when some mad guy has worked out how to summon demons, and he says the demons can do jobs for cheaper! But the demons don't do a good job at all, oh and as well as paying them, every time you want them to do a job you have to chop down a tree.

Doing our bit to battle against fast fashion.

“Ok, we’ve just invented healthcare, what should the doctors wear?” A long white dress “Sounds great, and the nurses?” Pajamas “Alright that’s settled, then, let’s put the patients in a long shirt with their bare ass sticking out”

My last word on the matter

Do you need to awaken joy in someone like activating the Winter Soldier? The words today are 'Guinea Pig Bridge Nagasaki' Don't show them a video to explain it, let them discover it themselves. You'll know it works when they start humming the song. #Ihavefriendseverywhere

A radio programme like the Shipping Forecast but it’s called Bin Day and it just reads out every single council in the country’s bin schedule

Our cat, Greb, is not taking the hint about laying the table.

Is anyone on here cool? Like are you recognised as being cool? I have just discovered I might have been cool and I didn't realise? It's a lot. Do you have any advice?

My one hope for the final is that we get to find out who the Traitors are.

each of them represents one of the five elements: Fire, Metal, Air, Water, and Anti-Trust.

Male writer here. While being the primary carer* for two kids I have written and sold three screenplays. Writing with kids is a total nightmare and it wouldn't even be possible if @wheatles.bsky.social didn't have a proper career. *The person who is there for everything.

Normally you don't get a response like this from New York without actually busting some ghosts.

can’t tell if my antidepressants aren’t working or if they just weren’t built for this. like, zoloft was introduced in the 90s it barely needed to work then. if you got sad you could just buy a house.

I'm trying on some new shoes today. It feels like I'm about to find out if I am an idiom. I'll report back in a week and let you know my findings. 'You know what they say, wear new shoes on a Monday...'

What is the longest unbroken line in the UK? I think painted lines on the inside of a motorway might be a good shout. Can anyone do better? It has to be human made.

What AI can't understand is there are times when you want to listen to Ghost town by the Specials because it's a ska classic, and there are times you want to listen to Ghost town by the Special because it's a good spooky tune for Halloween.

I have to accept - as much as it annoys me - that the tech bros have actually created a good metaphor for The One Ring with A.I. Sure they say they can use The Ring/A.I. for good, but it destroys whoever uses it and it wrecks the environment. Does this mean notable Clankers are ringwraiths?

I dunno lads but maybe we shouldn't have, like, three companies provide the backbone for the entire internet

Being in your 40s is singing David Guetta's Titanium to yourself, except with the word Magnesium, as you brush your teeth to go to bed at 8.43pm

"I DON'T NEED YOU TO FUCKING REWRITE WHAT I'VE JUST WRITTEN!"

It really blows my mind how much people want to defend their car with a petrol subscription.

Reframing is such a useful skull. For example It's not an alarming rise in state surveillance on citizens, it's a new golden age for people inventing new language to avoid censorship!

This goes to some fun places (extremely gently, there is zero stress here).

I'm trying to become BFFs with the murder of crows that live on Brixton hill. We are already pretty friendly, but today one of them shouted at me as it saw me cycling down the hill, so I went and got them an apple bake to share. Reward the behaviour you want.

Is there an edit of Celebrity Traitors where they don't repeat everything three times? I'm having fun but every episode is 50% filler / drone shots / repeating what they have just said. Or is this just the style of broadcast TV these days and I haven't noticed the shift?

I am a Tron guy. I loved the original film _because it was weird _. I went to the premiere in of Tron Legacy, which is deeply flawed story but looked and sounded amazing. This is me with Tron people in 2010 afterparty in the Tate Modern. I won't see Tron Ares because Jared Leto is in it.

1) In 1853 the first bicycle with pedal crank "Tretkurbelfahrrad" was made by Philipp Moritz Fischer. 2) American Cowboys 'died out' somewhere between 1888 and 1920. Pitch: A western, on bicycles. Really squeaky ones.

Where are you on the trans issue? I was fully manual but then we went electric, which doesn't need a transmission so it acts like an automatic. I get the appeal now.

I sliced my finger tip open with a knife. It's healing well, but also it looks like a happy face and I own pens so you can guess what happened. CW:Being silly.

Sci-fi pitch. It is the 1000th year of the Kardashian Dynasty. When the theme tune plays you have to stand. If you die without a will, everything you own goes to the Kardashians. They who don't pay tax and get to write exemptions into the laws.

Doing fitness stuff is OVER. It shall only be referred to as 'FEATS', Here is how it would sound in everyday normal chat, 'I did a feat of endurance today. I need to lie on a sofa and eat honey and figs'* *Anything from your nearest corner shop is allowed.

I went to the Makerspace* and spent two hours helping out. The high point was a huge drawer of Allen keys that needed sorting out to either Metric (yay) or Imperial (boo!) and then arranging by size. My brain is so calm now *Workers co-op where people make things.

I would like to ask questions about why so many of the stories studied in English schools are about how resisting the system doesn't work. 1984, Animal Farm, Moby Dick. Etc.

@wheatles.bsky.social remember when you would play a lot of BF3 and wreck people with C4?

This is basically seeing Beyoncé for 7-12yr olds, based on the length of queue and hype levels of those around me @jamiesmart.bsky.social

It's my friends wake tomorrow. Tony. You know Tony, known him since he was a kid, you saw him a few months ago. Totally a guy in his 40s? Tony had a heart attack. His funeral has already reached capacity limits. I know the sort of jokes Tony would have made about that.

Friendship in your 40s is: shouting "I love you" as you walk to opposite tube platforms having not seen each other for four months

repost this if an editor has ever saved you from yourself