starling (seth rogen): if you could take this survey that would be so awesome. i could get out of your hair before this guy's done jacking off. hannibal lecter (danny mcbride): motherfucker that's miggs. me and him are boys, so you better watch yourself. i'm behind this glass cause i ate some dudes

Tim Walz offering a positive vision of traditional masculinity and being loathed for it was low key one of the most blackpillling events of the past decade plus.

This is an absolutely shocking proposal that would disrupt the very foundations of democratic accountability in Ontario #Onpoli #cdnfoi

there are 80 lines in the league who've played over 150 minutes together this season at 5v5. this is where the line of Caufield-Suzuki-Texier stands among those 80 lines: - expected goal share: 5th - actual goal share: 1st

I don't think my body can handle a mcgriddle anymore. It barely could before.

this is fuckin crazy

This took me out IG real_timmeadows “So many roles, I barely remember them.”

Threatening, surveilling, or harassing journalists for reporting in the public interest is an attack on press freedom, on democracy, and on the public’s right to know. CJFE stands in solidarity with Gilmore and calls on authorities to act. 2/2 #protectjournalists #cdnmedia

Stephen Miller complaining about the UK finally eliminating heredity nobility from their legislature is a perfect encapsulation of how perverse it is to have these people in charge during the 250th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence.

Every god damn "innovation" capitalists churn out ends up just being "what if we could have slavery or near-slavery, but hide it?"

top and bottom skaters from last nights games

Peanut the kitty had her first patio chill earlier this week and is quite devastated at the weather today.

how it feels to repost an old flop post and see it get engagement

I stand by my platform that every year we should reset all chips to Plain, and then see what we end up with by the end of the year if we allow ourselves to dream and believe.

unclench

I was in the bathroom and the cheer was so loud I thought the Sens scored.

MICHAEL HAGE UPDATE Playoffs started tonight. Hage was on fire. 4 assists in a 6-1 win Michigan over Notre Dame. Hage 49 points in 35 games for 3rd third in college scoring. Michigan faces Penn State next. Gavin McKenna had 2 helpers in a 6-1 win over Minnesota. That game should be something.

This game has officially been a clown show on all fronts. Habs just as guilty. Goodness gracious. 😂🤡

Stick hacks at skates. Player falls down. I've heard tell of this before. APPARENTLY IT DOESN'T FUCKING EXIST ANYMORE THOUGH.

Gary buddy keep it in your fuckin' pants and act like you've been there you biased plug.

Claude Giroux turning back the clock vs. the Habs? Impossible... 😒

Pretty crazy how important the blockade of a trade route is right now

"I'd like to send one more of my unnecessary ego-stroking emails to thank all of you that I've fucked over as much as possible during my tenure, and hope you wish me well as I moved back to the private sector." I read as my eyes bleed, teeth shatter, and middle fingers fly off my hands.

Good morning, Bluesky. www.youtube.com/shorts/Drl-q...

I was really busy at the bar gig and had this girl... Very nice, but VERY needy of my attention. Flag you down to order and not know what they want type...

👍. In my experience The Beaverton is more factual than the National Post.

in case you've never seen it, this is Roger Ebert on The Mummy

Since Jaccob Slavin returned from injury on January 10th, the Carolina Hurricanes have given up fewer shots against per 60 minutes while short-handed (32.1) than the Toronto Maple Leafs have at 5v5 (33.1)

good morning.

The most useless addition to an app has to be the retweet function on Instagram.

SoooooooOOOOOOOOooooOooooo bluesky alternatives? 😅

Whenever VC takes over, the countdown to the thing being ruined begins.

Littlefoot chasing the ghost of his mom (Land Before Time) vs Shadow limping over the hill to reunite with Peter (Homeward Bound) for movie scenes that reduce me to a state of distress.

the western press is truly, truly ill.

This is an active duty RCAF officer: "For Armstrong, who is in his mid-40s, 'the ideal woman is childlike' ... Armstrong posted in a separate comment: 'The moment a girl has her first period, she is at her peak marriagability.'" [sic]

love how we killed the old, frail anti-nuke ayatollah just to have him replaced with his young, healthy son who wants nukes and who just had his father, mother, wife, and child murdered on the same day by his mortal enemy. surely this will bring peace to the region

holy shit

congressional democrats didn't give a fuck that we double tapped an elementary school last week with tomahawk missles and killed almost 200 little kids but they're about to express the purest outrage today because Line Go Down

The number of people coming out as trans is going to skyrocket.

Juraj Slafkovsky is on the Montreal Canadiens. 🥹

downloaded fire red for nostalgia and gary gets two critical hits in the first battle. 🥹

Ilya would definitely be the one added to the wives and girlfriends chat.

I get yelled at for saying this but for many hundreds of years people went to university not to get diplomas or be employable but because immersion in the humanities was considered foundational to a good life, and school must return to its original purpose: the joy of learning.

the danault discourse is kind of insane. his line over the last three games: in la: 66.7% xGF in ana: 55.6% xGF in sj: 73.1%. xGF they had a real stinker against washington and have been a net positive for the habs since then. he and they are not the problem.

I think the secret Habs trade that didn't happen was Sid.

(with barely contained rage) I'm going to have a nice weekend

Go go go go go go

incredible

crying

that replay deserves the yakkity sax treatment lol