Please help

Got my pumpkin for the season. Her name is Gourdelia.

In addition for reasons bsky.app/profile/limb...

Lubna is real and she is my friend. She only wants to keep her three children alive. Nasser, her son, is sick with malnutrition and desperately needs help. Please help them.

Please help Osama and his family 💕💸🍉

Orlando and Central Florida! This Tomorrow! Come turn JK R*wling's wizard books into trans/queer affirming art! And any donations you make help our trans comrades! Come make blackout poetry, portraits of Marsha P. Johnson setting HP books on fire, trans flags out of covers! Whatever brings you joy!

I just got fired. So if you want a commission dm me, and if you can’t maybe just repost this or something

*HEAVY BREATHING*

Anyway, evergreen

Jokes on you, I was already insufferable irl.

Y'all remember when spellcheck actually worked? Apparently, those were the golden days.

Hi @npr.org! We worked late tonight putting together this handy pocket guide! It doesn't address road design issues, but if we're going to educate road users, we should include drivers. It's the size of a folded business card. Print it, fold it, put it in your wallet!

Yo, somebody notify Dick and Don over at Fourth Reich Archeology.

Please don't call it that

Survey: Has this week just been especially atrocious for everyone?

So I took my orange tabby to the vet this morning, then I have to take him back tomorrow for an x-ray. Then after that! I have to take my other cat on Saturday morning for an appointment that's been scheduled for a few weeks. I should just ask if I can pick up some reception shifts while I'm there.

Cool tip for neurotypicals: if you're having discussions about autism, you should consider...inviting autistic people into the conversation.

Coworker: *shows his emotional support cat plushie to the Teams call* Coworker 2: Oh I have a stuffed animal too! *shows off a bear* Everyone else (and me): *grabs plushies off their desks and shows them off* Boss: Wait do ALL of you just have stuffed animals at arms length at all times??

The Muppets Dr. Manhattan (1986)

What I lack in marketable skills, I make up for in sheer batshittery. This is not at all helpful.

There really is a George Orwell quote for everything right now: If people cannot write well, they cannot think well, and if they cannot think well, others will do their thinking for them.

Evangelical Christians: "I'm getting Raptured straight to heaven!" Catholics: "That's awfully presumptuous. I'm pretty sure I could die, meet God, and still be like 'okay but are you for real letting me stay here orrr....? Because I missed a lot of Confessions, bruh.'"

For someone who's gotten three new jobs in the past ten years, I sure do get anxious about not knowing how to do things right on the first try. 🙄

This one is silly: One night, I was doing homework in the living room. The room had a door to the patio on the left. All of a sudden, I see Storm, our CHONKY UNIT of a tuxedo cat, come TEARING through the room and jump through the patio door onto the porch. But Storm had been dead for 6 months.

Help my friend out! 💕

It's hilarious that my desire to lose weight just evaporates into the aether when I'm back on medication that I never should have stopped taking in the first place. Almost like it helps me feel better?? And helps me stop fixating on bad self-image??? Wild.

I forgot I owned this Bildad the Shuhite shirt, so when I unearthed it from the bottom of my dresser tonight I started laughing like a jackass. Met David Tennant while wearing this!

up in heaven after the rapture i just saw god take a tylenol

Help my friend out! 💕

My dyscalculia math trauma has come back to rear its ugly head 🤣 I had to verify an equation in a document today, and my stomach flip-flopped, and I broke out into a cold sweat. I got the calculation right, but I still reached out for help to verify. I'm gonna have to get used to doing this.

NEW LOCATION! We will now be at the Quakers of Orlando! #Orlando #Event

RFK saying Tylenol causes autism isn't just a grift for Dr. Oz to sell his weird medications, it's also feeding into the extremely misguided biblical idea that women are supposed to suffer pain in child birth as punishment for the Fall. It's fucking stupid.

The Nutty Putty Cave Disaster is really one of those things that you learn about once and you wish you hadn't.

hippocryphal: Of dubious hippopotamus origins.

At this point, I wish the Rapture was real so I could stop listening to people talk about the fucking Rapture.

If there's one thing about me you have to understand, it's this: I am always waiting to make a Gregor Samsa joke.

Happy gotcha day to this lil guy! This is a picture from his first day at my house six years ago, complete with the collar we promptly ditched. I adopted Riley sight unseen because an acquaintance was moving cross country and needed to rehome him fast. Best decision ever!

Happy update: they are all okay and made it to the south!! Less happy update: it took nearly all of the money they had to get there, and costs are even higher in the small city that is now accommodating appx 1 million displaced people from the north. If you can, please help them.

He's my best friend, he's my pal, he's my homeboy, my rotten soldier, he's my sweet cheese, my good-time boy

A Demonstrator’s Guide to Understanding Riot Munitions : And How to Defend against Them crimethinc.com/2021/01/04/a... — @crimethinc.com

"I may have remarked before that Holmes had, when he liked, a peculiarly ingratiating way with women, and that he very readily established terms of confidence with them." from the Golden Pince-Nez, the Return of Sherlock Holmes

NEW LOCATION UPDATE! We will now be at the Quakers of Orlando! #Orlando

No matter where you are, no matter what gender you are, someone will assume you and your sibling are married, and it's never not the most awkward thing in the whole world. But props to the hockey coach for referring to me and my sister as my nieces' "parents", that was real progressive of you.

Sister: Our cat has one little white spot on his back toe, so the people at the shelter named him "Sir Tip-of-Toe". We didn't keep that. Me: I mean, he was knighted, you've got to respect that. *bows with a flourish* How do you do, m'lord? Cat: mrawp.

Whenever I use a bathroom with a skylight, I feel like asking the space aliens to venmo me tips.

i want to point out to the liberals posting shit like "Dearborn got what it voted for" in context of Mahmoud Khalil that you are doing exactly what you would have been doing if you lived in late 1930s germany and you ought to be so ashamed of yourself that you just spontaniously dissolve into mist

Hi Everyone! I’m $600 short— unemployment doesn’t cover all my basic expenses, rent, groceries. My cats 🐱 & I really need help. Even $5 or a share means so much right now. Venmo: @JonathanMGuru PayPal: [email protected] Cashapp: $jonathansaiz #mutualaidmonday #mutualaid #mutualaidsaveslives

Everyone feels gratified to share news about “the inevitable”—well, prevent it. These families have asked for help with evacuation for four weeks. Now we’re out of time. But we’ll try. Two families to go. We’ll match 1500. 1390/4000 by Sunday