ME: how was school today? MY TEENAGE SON, RADICALIZED BY THE NEW PATREON QUIPS FEATURE: chungo

Folks, in 3 months Nathan lost 30 pounds and fixed his blood pressure. I am a genius and you gotta pay me money to fix your body like a mechanic working on a Porsche

alex reveals a food that he occasionally eats in movie theaters that is so absolutely insane to me in this episode

Woke Former Chud Operator Guy is obviously the synthesis for progress in this country it’s like you people don’t even know Dan Harmon story circles

This never would have happened in my security ballroom

gotta shout out my buddy @tvsalexptak.bsky.social for helping me build a baseline of strength through weightlifting over the past couple months. he’s helped me get from being someone who was always intimidated by the prospect of working out to someone who feels strong and secure in my body

They’ve added a hype video to jury service and it gets all the prospective jurors to go fucking ape shit

I am blockading the strait of Hormuz to create the conditions for Permanent Lent

No one raps about digging holes to promote the movie Holes anymore

All I want for my birthday is a peaceful Taiwan reunification it’s not that big of a deal and you only turn 35 one time

When you’re 35 and there’s no nuclear war this week

How does Elon Musk remember what he reads? Full episode with Felix Biederman: youtu.be/grZAfTpYJW4

They can’t draft you if you have unplayed steam games that counts as continued education

dark super smash character unlock screen

NEW QUORATORS w/ FELIX BIEDERMAN! we have once again read Quora questions sent to Jeffrey Epstein's emails. deep, important questions like "How tough is a Navy SEAL in a street fight?" and "What is the loneliest thing in the world?" AND MORE! GO LISTEN: youtu.be/grZAfTpYJW4

OH DID A MOVIESBALL HAPPEN?

If you leave creatine out for 6 months it is considered mids

We’re getting word the government is planning a new 9/11 involving a massive drilling device

Sorry everybody when I killed all those kids I didn’t think it would affect gas prices like that

Would you go to war? If it affected your slop?

There’s a new world war and it is getting around the same level of public attention as fat bear week

NEW QUORATORS w/ PAUL F. TOMPKINS! → Why can't I get grunk or high? → What is the ultimate defense against all mental attacks, witchcraft and bullshit? → I don't like women for some reason. What should I do about this? AND MORE! GO WATCH youtu.be/v9DPnNYxdcM

Board of Peace - Season 1

OPERATION CHUCK NORRIS

TRUMP: We’re touching the stove, folks. We’re touching it like never before. They’re saying the stove is too “hot” but we don’t believe them do we DIPSHIT BOAT OWNER IN CROWD (BARELY AUDIBLE): Hell no!

Sorry everyone a dog got into the War Starting Room at the War Department and is rolling around on all the War Buttons

Good news: Chomsky is cancelled, you no longer have to manufacture consent

It seems like the whole city resents the occupying army size police force here. And whose fault is that? Obviously the brand new mayor.

NEW QUORATORS w/ LIBBY WATSON! → What is a full blown snog means? → Why do we teach children to admire criminals such as Robin Hood? → If bin men must collect the bins early at 6:30 am, why do they have to shout? AND MUCH MORE! GO WATCH: youtu.be/7eN1IJS37Ms

NEW QUORATORS w/ KURT BRAUNOHLER! → Can you kill and eat mermaids? → What is mind control method? → No one answered my question about dark crystals. Is Quora broken? AND SO MUCH MORE! GO WATCH youtu.be/I-RqDB3MVv0

This is probably ok

“I wave my hair back and forth” - Willow

the Epstein congressional hearings are not going my way

Go to CoolAlexTraining.com/book to get big / small / the same size

The worlds so messed up right now with all the wars and everything happening to Clavicular

Just look how she is drawn to the cards

NEW QUORATORS → How do I prepare for a gabang? → Is there no hell but a ghostman scorned? → Why not be both loved and feared? AND MORE! GO WATCH OR CLARE WILL PUNCH YOU youtu.be/mp6iSBRk9vc

(forgetting the expression “she’s no angel”) she is a bad bunny

Eminem News

My wife left me because I was mogged

On a recent recording I said the smurfs cannot be gay because they are bugs. My research after the fact has shown bugs are all kinds of gay all the time and bug mode as well. I now retract these statements. It is time to listen and learn 🎓

NEW QUORATORS w/ BRYAN QUINBY! → How can I seduce a man with dance? → What does the phrase 'getting strange' mean? → If giantesses were real, would you like date them? Would you date a 10', a 50', or even a 1,000' or a mile tall giantess? AND MORE! GO LISTEN: youtu.be/naE16BVROiI

From: CAP’N CRUNCH To: Jeffrey Epstein Subject: Milk Sea Date: Wednesday, 3 March 2010 —————————- Can I reach your island on the sea og milk? Can’t wait 2 CRUNCH

Baby 1 year old now. All limbs intact. Please clap.

NEW QUORATORS w/ @dono.bsky.social! this week we read iTunes reviews of the Quora app and you will not be surprised to discover that they are completely insane. it is unclear what these people think they are even typing into. 5 stars GO LISTEN youtu.be/3wQYsoNc_0E

ANY MEDIA GUY: people are pretty mad at the border patrol this week Greg. Any thoughts? GREG BOVINO DIRECTLY TO THE CAMERA:

I just look at the state of the world and sometimes it feels like I’M the big chungus

Bruh moment: my finger is stuck in a dyke preventing a flood from destroying the town

i am not above doing a lil Am I The Asshole podcasting over at patreon.com/quorators

Shoutout to letters. Keep forming words and numbers of Super Bowl!