With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars. We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director. Please stand by for more.

1 year ago today I was terminated by DOGE from USAID where I worked to get humanitarian aid into Gaza. Everyone I knew across almost 10 years of my career across 3 prior jobs became unemployed as well. My entire LinkedIn network suddenly became "open to work" I'm a one issue voter. Punishment.

The human circulatory system, before and after proper cable management.

I laughed

In 1999, I was playing a decker in Shadowrun, and tried to distract a guard by hacking a water fountain to overflow, and my GM said "why would a water fountain be on the network? That's fucking stupid. No you can't try." Well it's 2026 and I just want you to know, Phil, that I FUCKING CALLED IT!

I own a cheese shop

@darthbluesky.bsky.social GIANT FRENCH FRIES youtube.com/shorts/yUz5h...

ICE Arrests 85-Year-Old French Widow Who Married Her G.I. Sweetheart www.nytimes.com/2026/04/16/u...

We should have never doubted this man

Bluesky can’t throttle my posting if I never post

In Kyiv 4 people were killed and over 50 injured in overnight russian attack‼️

This is Missy. She escaped from her backyard and ran straight to daycare, where she had a spa day and got to play with her boyfriend. Lessons were learned, but not the ones her parents probably hoped. 13/10 (TT: spotsplaceyqr)

🇳🇴 🇺🇦 Norway and Ukraine signed a declaration on enhanced defense and security cooperation. Also discussed joint development of drones, industrial cooperation, and energy partnership.

Notifications for deleted shouldn't remain in any OS notification database, and we've asked Apple to address this. In the meantime, you can prevent any preview text from your Signal messages from appearing in your notifications. Signal Settings > Notifications > Show “No Name or Content”

Our new album is out today! A sincere request to help spread the word!

Russia is attacking the infrastructure of Kryvyi Rih with drones right now‼️ In broad daylight, to maximize casualties. Bastards!

A worker died at an Amazon warehouse in Oregon last week. For more than an hour, workers were instructed to continue working as the man lay dead. One worker wanted to help, but a manager told them to “Just turn around and not look. Let’s get back to work," according to @thewesternedge.bsky.social.

2026 is such a wonderful time to be alive 😂

As someone who has had multiple male and female bosses, I can say that I’ve had good and bad with both genders (no enby bosses yet) but the worst of the bad have all been men who failed upwards.

Happy Appomattox Day to all who celebrate and I expect each and every one of you to celebrate.

I have seen one good example of this plate

BREAKING: Following the American threat of an “Avignon Papacy,” Robert Kennedy has begun a Diet of Worms

Happy Appomattox Day to all that celebrate

In Zaporizhzhia, as a result of heavy russian shelling on one of the villages in the outskirts of the city, a man was killed and four others were injured‼️

Here’s to another day of the American Century of Humiliation

“The new legal filing claims law enforcement agencies have known for years that computer facial recognition matches should not be the only basis for arresting someone, yet the Reno Police Department maintained such a policy” despite this knowledge.

Three people were killed and twelve others injured in a Russian strike on a bus in central Nikopol, just as it was pulling up to a stop‼️ Inhuman fucking bastards. Murderers!

Current status.

Ukraine remembers its heroes Military surgeon Vladyslav Tytarenko's forward team performed 557 operations in 29 days. On the 30th, a Russian guided bomb killed him. He was 28. The one line his mom ever got from the front: "Normal. We're working." Hero of Ukraine, posthumously. Photo: Suspilne

The horrific moment a russian drone struck an apartment building in Kharkiv today‼️

Excuse me, what did you just say? WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY??? www.nytimes.com/2026/03/31/u...

​Volodymyr and Olena Zelensky honored the memory of the Ukrainians killed by russian forces during the occupation of Bucha. ​When Bucha was liberated, the whole world finally saw the true face of russia. Mass graves filled with executed civilians, bodies of people shot on the streets and left

Today is the Transgender Day of Visibility and I'll take the opportunity to once again say that trans people matter, their lives have meaning, and what's being done to them by so many politicians and people in this country is wrong.

i did not make this up. this is an actual screenshot, from right now.

PizzaINT = OUT StripperINT = IN

When someone’s take is so bad I’m on the fence about blocking them, it really helps when their handle is something along the lines of “dickfuckshitstain” to make the choice more clear

New response for when the manager begs you to come in on your day off just dropped

Mind-boggling story by @anneapplebaum.bsky.social on the surreal fever-dream that is the Hungarian election campaign. A dystopian laboratory of far-right brainwashing. www.theatlantic.com/ideas/2026/0...

This is how kids go to school in eastern Ukraine: underground. I visited a school in Kharkiv that has turned their basement into classrooms, as missiles & drones hit without warning. All Hands & Hearts will help Kharkiv with supplies & solar so kids can still learn during blackouts.

This tells me that: A) We need to bring back laws against gambling, and B) The male loneliness epidemic needs to be bigger

💔 Russia strikes Odesa overnight again: 1 killed, number of people injured rises to 11

Russian drone strikes a busy road filled with cars in Nikopol, Dnipropetrovsk region. Bloody bastards made hunting civilians their entertainment‼️

Here are the Top 5 Dogs of the week!

Yesterday I filmed several baby birds walking across a street directly at my camera and asked Bluesky to suggest music Several dozen folks did Some even dubbed music over the original clip. I haven't been able to get this out of my head. So I give you A Bluesky exclusive: Reservoir Ducks 🐣 🪶

hello what did i miss tell me every thing