Matthew 24:13 DJTV “The one who remains loyal to the end, will be like totally and completely saved.”

The hungry red panda at the Prospect Park Zoo? Adorable. The HungryPanda delivery app scamming small businesses? Not adorable. So they will be paying $580,000 back. We'll keep pursuing companies that take advantage of New Yorkers, and we'll keep asking if we can pet a red panda just for a second.

Most French fries are terrible and their ubiquity is a stain on our culinary landscape.

Damn, Mrs. Met…Is there a Mr. Met?

“Trump will learn his lesson” says guy who never learned his lesson

The only thing necessary for the triumph of a nazi candidate is for good candidates to have no juice

Warren-Paul Bill to Require Immigrant Orphan-Crushing Machines to Be Built With American Steel passes with unanimous bipartisan support

Whatever bad story she is trying to get in front of is without a doubt the truest possible thing anyone has ever said

Nobody: Nobody’s mom: Nobody’s college roommate: Nobody’s imaginary friend’s dog: Melania: The lies about me hearing a hideous beating heart need to stop!

Me, driving by the old Arby’s on 7th.

Really gunning for the old man’s job here

A good analysis

I hope that everyone tracking the Iran disaster is clear that the same level of care and attention has been applied to his domestic agenda as well

I knew we should expect better of the FIFA World Peace Prize winner

Marjorie Taylor Greene, Tucker Carlson, Piers Morgan, Alex Jones. Welcome to the R… nah fuck you and go to hell

We should continue to cultivate an atmosphere of speculation whenever Trump isn’t on camera. And so then anytime he reappears, there’s great disappointment. Get some people to write about how everyone is disappointed to see him alive. I think it would hurt his feelings.

🎶For such a time as this the guillotine was placed on the Earth🎶

Thoughts and prayers

They have 48 hours to comply but the countdown will start at a time in the future that has yet to be announced

Post something random or you will have an awful April…

In honor of Pam Bondi being fired like a dog, I have decided to start tracking Trump admin firings and resignations in the best way possible - a bingo card. I did this in the first administration and it gave me great joy. Let me know if you would like your own.

Is he giving her a job in the private sector?

Congratulations to Pam Bondi on her new position as the Vice Director of the Shield of the Americas!

👀

@androo.bsky.social @fakegreekgrill.bsky.social

Fun fact: Alito’s father was born in Itay and his mother’s parents came to the US shortly before she was born

Trump was disappointed with what oral arguments meant

April Fool does April Fool things

Did the Langoliers write this?

All Iran has to do is claim the boats are smuggling drugs and then all bets are off, by my understanding.

It’s ok to have a relationship between two Barbies

2-4-6-8 IT MIGHT BE OVER, JUST WAIT

It was Denny’s placemat and he was doing a connect the dots on the back

my friend and his fam were driving back from SF to Portland today and said the protest in Medford OR was so long it stretched on for miles, and it made me think a lot about the people who gathered today in groups both large and small in communities where there’s still a high social cost to doing it

Maybe my favorite sign of the day for its sheer simplicity

This Hell colony sim looks cool and I would like to point out that the little guys are humanoid chickpeas called Humus

You wake up to find a note. It reads “If you want to find your Vietnamese friend, you must go to the harbor, board the slowest boat and take part in the theater production happening there. At the end of act III, you will arrive at his location. “The only way to Nguyen is two knot play”

What if he was already the worst person in the world and THEN we voluntarily gave him the Twilight Zone cornfield kid powers.

Imagine if you will, a guy. This guy is the worst guy you can think of. Then every day he gets worse. For ten years.

🎶 Let's talk about sex, frankly Let's talk about a couch and JD The bad things can’t happen It can only good things happen🎶

Never forget the day true evil was defeated

I don’t doubt that from the US standpoint the meetings are about thanking America

hello what did i miss tell me every thing

The first mention of rhabdomyolysis in historical texts is in the Old Testament -- Numbers 11:18-34! People complain that they have no meat; God hears and sends the wind to blow in an exceptional amount of quail. The quail is which is gathered and eaten and the people are struck with a plague.

If you’re afraid to use your position of power to say it publicly, you’re not a good person