🎵I wish that I had ChatGPT’s Hallucination of Jesse’s Girl🎵

*meredith brooks voice* im a mitch im mcconnell i help trump comma donald ive a turtle for a head im probably really dead

The best edit I’ve seen in weeks, you absolutely have to turn the sound on for this one.

McConnell USMNT Platner Campaign 🤝 🤝 dead

My turn to be smug. Senator Warren, will you disavow Graham Platner and retract your shameful endorsement?

Graham Platner hates women. also he is a nazi. He’s a misogynistic Nazi With very real proof of both available, the Nazi part being inscribed on his person with indelible ink, and the misogynist part with the accounts of multiple women who people shamefully invent excuses to disbelieve

Why are Maine Dems so horny for this weird Pez dispenser-looking mf?

Shut up, no it doesn’t. That’s not real

thread of stuff I want to share in group chat but can’t so main gets it context-free 1/x

Corn sweat: 🥵 Corenswet: 🥵

my mom always told me when i was a child i would eventually blossom into a flower the flower:

He was hiking the Appalachian Trail

Weird Al >>> Weird AI

Me: Okay, there's been a thunderstorm, the heatwave should be over now. (New health bar appears) (The sun is now named 'Sol, Starflame of Regret') (Objectively the greatest piece of classical music ever recorded starts playing).

In defense of Kristi Noem, she only did all those commercials because the director kept saying “Let’s shoot this puppy”

🎶Memories🎶

Somehow, Sen. Tom Kean Returned

Those might be your last giants

“I get my 300 million gil budget thanks to a very smart investment in a 1000 gil camera in the president’s office 10 years ago.”

do not sit there with a straight face and claim there is no difference between the 2 parties after the scotus bloodbath today

Name a movie that flopped at the box office but is actually great. #FilmSky It’s A Wonderful Life (1946)

So, if you're a longtime mutual, from seeing what I post what do you think are my favorite gifs?

can’t believe a narcissist is being so publicly humiliated by a reflecting pool

I don’t know man, who is “the Democratic Party” if it’s not the voters?Democratic voters choose candidates, not party leaders. And party leaders need to listen to what voters are telling us - and right now they are demanding our party be bolder.

there are actual dems out here sounding like peak tucker fucking carlson, "NYC has fallen", or "DC is gone", do you even hear yourselves

Bluesky is fine, I guess. But I wish we could still be on the old twitter where I posted fun things like this

Thanks for nothing, Google

Happy Father's Dad! www.smbc-comics.com/comic/number...

Tfw you finally see that sonuvabitch imp again

"Mr. President, we've received early reports of inbound missiles" "I CALL THE DEMOCRATS DUMBOCRATS, ISN'T THAT GOOD?" "Yes, sir, but what should we do about the impending attack?" "I'M GOING TO RENAME ICE 'NICE' AND THEN PEOPLE WON'T BE MAD ABOUT IT" "But Sir ..." "ANTIFA PUT ALGAE IN MY POOL!"

How did holding all the cards work out for him in NYC or Iran?

"the age of men is over. the time of the orca has come"

Sabotalgae

onion persons when they see a meteor barreling straight towards earth:

More like a Memorandum Vance Standing Under A Bus, amirite?

omg

I suddenly need to hear Cafaro’s views on mayonnaise

Whitewater scandal - Seven year investigation Greenwater scandal - Meh, who cares

Why would JD Vance do this?

New season premiere of our favorite gameshow!!!

This is an amazing photo. Anyone know the context?

Imagine having such a bad head that your company loses a lot of money

New MAGA Captcha just dropped:

Yikes, Bill. Shut your damn mouth

This isn’t funny! Reflecting Pools only do this when they’re under extreme stress.

Lots of folks have little concept of how recently we learned some really really basic, lifesaving stuff. Sterile saline is among the most used medical interventions in the world and it wasn't standardized until the 1930s and not common until the invention of the disposable IV syringe in the 1950s.

“1 Degree Hotter!” cake. Never sold