See, it’s shit like this that makes me wish I believed in hell, because surely there is no earthly punishment fit for someone who insider trades mass killing.

I would rather end MY history than listen to this

Sadly, everyone who works for FIFA lacks the part of the brain that controls shame. It’s a whole severance thing, you have to get it removed before you can get onto payroll 😔

We killed 85 schoolgirls. We are not the good guys.

congress sounds cool i wish it was real

I ultimately decided not to add “did all this while living in a fascist police state under an authoritarian regime that hates all that I am and everything I stand for” to my third-year review but honestly I do think I should get bonus points for that

"actually, there was no school, it was a school they bombed themselves, there was a military base beneath a school - all these things are 100% true at once, but also one thing's for sure, they were Iranians, and so isn't it rather suspicious that you care about whether or not they live or die?"

Guys he's not starting a war to distract from the Epstein files. He's starting a war because he wants to start a war. Killing people in other countries makes him horny. If it also distracts from the Epstein files, great, but he doesn't really give a shit either way.

It sure would be a bummer if Iran retaliated by hacking the US and giving everyone an 850 credit score and eliminating student debt 🤞🤞

A government of, by, and for unfuckable chuds

Bluesky this, twitter that: look, I know in my bones that if I were still on twitter, I would have seen at least three unlovable fascist chuds by now posting about “bombsmaxxing” or “regime change mogging” or whatever, so I’d call that a point for this platform.

The dumbest, most degraded death cult.

Sure would be nice to have some checks and balances right now

just circling back...

I swear, every single time I play The Chicks’ “Travelin’ Soldier,” she poses like she’s waiting for her husband to return from the war.

Just a few more days to submit proposals for the Music & Labor Symposium (May 15­–17 at the Friday Harbor Laboratories at the University of Washington)! Details at the link -- please share widely. I'd love to review lots of proposals! (Yes, really!) careers.amsmusicology.org/opportunity/...

I first thought "there aren't words" when I first saw this story. but there are

Is it not illegal to impersonate a police officer?

Do I thank Alysa Liu in my book acknowledgments? Because I’ve watched her freeskate routine approximately five times a day since it came out to try to feel that kind of unbridled, fearless joy as I approach my manuscript deadline next week and it has honestly helped.

The author of the article clearly got his facts about Albania (never under Stalin’s rule) and the Soviet Union by asking ChatGPT “how would Ronald Reagan describe the USSR,” but the highlight to me is this random Buffalo woman hanging a “Bills Mafia” flag and confusing/scaring her neighbors.

first in my line of critical universi-tees

Suddenly a whole lot of bootlicking politicians are very upset about the use of lethal force against a fishing vessel

Shoutout to the real hero of me trying to finish my book this week

Sorry, but if I wanted to listen to a mentally ill narcissist spout lies and gaslight me for two hours, I’d still have a relationship with my dad 💁🏻‍♀️ y’all do you, though!

Spent the day revisiting Thing Theory and now I’m two paragraphs in to a meditation on poplar pollen in Moscow in this introduction

Pretty sure I would rather use a barbed-wire tampon than watch this State of the Union

Henceforth, I will be describing the way that U.S. men’s hockey spectacularly squandered good will, brand recognition, and fan loyalty as “pulled a Target.” They pulled a Target.

Kind of wild to see so many people I know who got into hockey because of Heated Rivalry now be surprised that the US Men’s team is filled with misogynists. Like, yeah, why do you think the main characters on that show were closeted??

I should be old /jaded enough not to be bothered by guys hyuck-hyucking about being forced to acknowledge women who just won a gold medal. But I’ll be damned if that one hasn’t been under my skin all day. At the very least, I don’t want to hear about the loneliness thing anymore. Go improve.

On second thought, this analogy might be unfair to black tar heroin. Though I’ve never done it myself, my understanding from The Wire is that you at least get a momentary rush of pleasure from shooting up. This gives students absolutely nothing. (This post is not an endorsement of doing heroin.)

what even is the fucking point

We are basically shooting an entire generation of students up with the academic equivalent of black tar heroin—deeply unhealthy yet next to impossible to resist—and idk guys, something tells me that isn’t a great move!!

being at the age where everyone you know is having children

Extremely glad it was not a Tkachuk meathead who scored!!!

Whoever wins, they’d better have someone on their team invite his boyfriend down for a kiss

Spotted at the local humane society in Madison

With the name “Bork Irving,” this man was born to be a freestyle skier

Bragging about killing a bunch of sea lions is very marine Kristi Noem coded

The Supreme Court:

Some tenured law professor is going to use this as evidence that the Roberts court is not, in fact, simply another arm of the Trump administration, and will point to this with every subsequent ruling that decisively takes away the rights of women, trans people, people of color, and immigrants.

Truly, the number of even center-left people I know who have bought a gun since November 2024 is astonishing. Harper is about ten years too late with this critique.

Staying in a five-star hotel for a conference has me saying things like, “call my assistant,” and “we’ll talk more at Davos,” and “the DOW is over 50,000” alone in my hotel room while wearing an extremely fluffy robe. Like, it must be so nice to be a capitalist???

the only place this should happen is academic conferences

WE FUCKING DID IT AND THE ENTIRE AIRPORT SCREAMED!!!!

At the airport with a bunch of Wisconsinites watching the sudden death women’s hockey final!!!!

So SCOTUS, with its fabricated-out-of-thin-air immunity doctrine, has actually made American presidents less accountable than LITERAL royalty.

Bolsonaro in prison, Yeon sentenced to prison, Andrew arrested on his birthday...and America still holding on to a 34 count felon as President.