This week’s main story is about police chases – the incredibly dangerous practice made famous by O.J. Simpson, and kept famous by Sheriff John Bunnell and Pluto TV’s 24-hour car chase channel. But, because we are fun, this segment is also about how drivers doing donuts is awesome. Full stop.

Here’s last night’s story about police chases, why the risks involved massively outweigh the benefits, and why people should be allowed to say “shit” on the news. We, as a nation, are well beyond the word “shit” destroying anyone’s innocence. Just…look around. youtu.be/wVFXUkFx5Y8

For years, we’ve been quietly working on Cabernet SauvignJohn. Made from the finest Napa Valley grapes with notes of vanilla, plush tannins, and the essence of a TV host who needed something named after him. We’ll be donating $50k of sales to food banks in California! Visit cabernetsauvignjohn.com!

We’ve got a new show tonight at 11pm on HBO Max, and 11:20pm on HBO! 20 minutes late on cable because we’re airing right after the premiere of I Love LA, and they’re running late. Which is soooo LA. “Traffic was so bad” this, “I’m a movie star so I can show up whenever I want” that. Rude.

A huge thank you to Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman for helping us create a more accurate Medicare Advantage ad. Full segment at the link in our bio!

This week’s main story details what Medicare Advantage is, why it basically has all the pitfalls of private insurance, and what a Mountain Chicken is. And if you don’t already know what a Mountain Chicken is, go ahead and visualize a “Mountain Chicken” in your head now. Great. It’s not that.

Here’s last night’s story about Medicare Advantage, why it basically has all the pitfalls of private insurance, whether you should sign up for it, and why Dr. Oz is proof that television was a bad idea. youtu.be/Ejoi9yfLVCc

We’re back with a new show tonight at 11:02pm! Airing right after The Chair Company. Come for the guy yelling about chair companies, stay for the other guy yelling about chairs OF companies. Haha! But seriously, we hope you know that when John’s yelling he isn’t mad at you.

We're just going to keep posting this until we get a National Frank Sinatra and/or Al Pacino Day. youtu.be/eKEwL-10s7E

This week’s main story is about Paramount’s decision to name Bari Weiss Editor-in-Chief of CBS News, the future of U.S. journalism, and why we think she shouldn’t describe her endeavors as “punk.” Bari, look at us: You are not punk. Joe Strummer would’ve hated your fancy Substack, Bari!

Here’s last night’s story about Bari Weiss, CBS News, Paramount Skydance, and why the Upper West Side is a lot more than just “Seinfeld territory.” youtu.be/gieTx_P6INQ

We’re back tonight at 11pm on HBO Max/11:10pm on HBO! And we’re off next week! So yes, John will spend his usual 14 days at the desk by himself, missing the studio audience. And the at-home audience! But the studio audience provides him with “human contact” or whatever he’s always begging for. Diva.

This week’s main story is about presidential libraries, why they’re important, how Donald Trump may be exploiting their loopholes, and – what else – a psychic gorilla with a dangerous distaste for one specific president.

Here’s last night’s story about presidential libraries, how they help shape history, the troubling ways they can be used, and – of course – some tasteful conjecture about one president’s undercarriage. youtu.be/dB1-lg-xZWc

We’re back tonight at 11pm on HBO Max/11:10pm on HBO! Airing right after riveting cat-and-mouse detective show “Task.” Yup, just two action-packed shows starring Hollywood’s most sought after leading men. Mark Ruffalo and John. WHAT.

She taught the world so much, including teaching John how to eat a banana. Rest In Peace, Dr. Jane Goodall. Thank you for spending some time with us. youtu.be/izUzqUrhbh0

This week’s main story is about Benjamin Netanyahu, his time in and out of power in Israel, the extreme voices he’s allied with in his country, and one nifty trick to get John Oliver to do whatever you say. You have to watch the show to find out what it is, but yes, of course it involves horses.

Here’s last night’s story about Benjamin Netanyahu, the extreme voices he’s allied with in his country, and how one wonderful pen can help everyone better understand the geography of the Middle East. youtu.be/0_Bwix9IjOE

We’re back tonight at 11pm on HBO Max/11:10pm on HBO! Prompt streaming for our square fans, late cable for our freaky fans! Cause we’re a well-rounded program with a little somethin’ for everyone in terms of time management! And in terms of content? We’re exclusively serving “guy at a desk.”

This week’s main story is about ABC’s move to pull Jimmy Kimmel off the air, what it has to do with Brendan Carr and the FCC, what it means for free speech in the United States, and why it’s all giving Donald Trump such sweet dreams you could break his bedsheets.

Here’s last night’s story about Jimmy Kimmel, the FCC, freedom of speech in the U.S., and why certain broadcast groups could learn a thing or two from Love Island. youtu.be/ohPToBog_-g

We’re back tonight at 11pm on HBO Max/11:10pm on HBO! After an eventful few weeks away. And if the FCC is reading this, we just want to say: tonight’s episode is about…how cute your outfit is! And every episode after that, too, cause you’ll just keep wearing outfits! And we love that about you.

This week’s main story is about Donald Trump’s grudge against higher education, what we stand to lose if he continues to withhold federal funding from universities, and which unexpected celebrity may hold the key to eternal youth. And yes, we have compelling evidence on that last point. You’ll see.

Here’s last night’s story about Donald Trump’s war on higher education, and what a young Stephen Miller looked like. Brace yourself. youtu.be/xk94il8L820

We’re back tonight at 11pm on HBO Max/11:15pm on HBO! After two weeks away! You know what that means!! John’s been sitting in the studio, by himself, for 14 days straight. RELAX. We gave him a beach towel. He lays on the floor in darkness and silence and calls it “a British vacation.”

This week’s main story is about the people at the top of the MAHA movement, the positions of power they’ve been given by RFK Jr., and why – as a society – we’ve lost sight of what a smoothie is supposed to be.

Here’s last night’s story about the “Make America Healthy Again” movement, what they have and haven’t accomplished so far, and a fun new idea for doctors who are looking to quit in style. youtu.be/3lzfH86avIc

We’ve got a new show tonight at 11pm on HBO Max/11:02pm on HBO! Right after an episode of “The Yogurt Shop Murders” and right before – you guessed it – a different episode of “The Yogurt Shop Murders.” Can’t have too much yogurt back to back. Need a little English muffin.

Thank you to Bobby Moynihan and Edi Patterson for helping us visualize the people living in Chuck Schumer’s head. And Chuck, if you’re reading this: they’re Republicans. The Baileys are registered Republicans, full stop.

This week’s main story is about the Trump administration’s promise to deport one million immigrants, what follow through on that promise looks like in practice, and – to lighten the mood – which animal always looks like it was just caught cheating on its wife. Ok fine: The tarsier.

Here’s last night’s story about immigration enforcement, who’s actually being targeted and arrested by masked police, and what the vibes would be like on Stephen Miller’s OnlyFans page. youtu.be/DfTBhrkae74

We’ve got a new show tonight at 11pm on HBO Max/11:10 on HBO! 10 mins late on HBO cause we’re airing after “The Yogurt Shop Murders” and we wanted to give you processing time in case it’s more about murder than it is about yogurt. Seems impossible. Yogurt is way better than murder. But just in case.

This week’s main story is about what happens when a corporation gets caught committing a crime and why the answer is often: not much! Which is a real bummer. But the story is also about how babies are tiny idiots, so that part is fun!! God, those little guys are just not smart yet.

Here’s last night’s story about deferred prosecution agreements, or DPAs, and how they’re helping corporations avoid prosecution for serious crimes. It’s also about things like NPAs at places like UBS, and the larger question of how many acronyms John can say in one episode. youtu.be/xNo8Ve-Ej6U

We’re back tonight at 11:02pm on HBO and 11pm sharp on HBO Max! And that two minutes? Constitutes the vital difference between cable and streaming. “Wait, what difference exactly?” Look, if you have to ask, you’ll never know.

This week’s main story is about gang databases, how they’re made, how they’re being used, and why we all love to take a little peek at someone else’s screen. Phone on the subway, laptop in a coffee shop, computer in a cop car, you name it – if we can see it, we’re peekin’.

Here’s last night’s story about gang databases, how people wind up on them, and why if anyone belongs on those lists, it’s Adam Levine. We can’t prove he’s a criminal, we just *feel* that he is one. youtu.be/rlR8d9JVWtQ

We’re back at 11:05pm! After a month away! But first, we must address something serious: we have a strict “don’t let John out of the studio during hiatus” policy which, yes, John violated to go to a minor league baseball game. Yes, we’re horrified. But grateful John “threw a baseball” and survived.

This week’s main story is about what’s in Trump’s “Big Beautiful Bill,” who it benefits, the vital programs it could defund, and who we think Mike Johnson should dress up as for Halloween.

Here’s last night’s story about Trump’s “Big Beautiful Bill,” what exactly is in it, what will happen if it’s passed, and a brand new campaign slogan for Joni Ernst: youtu.be/vjFL-cBcjKc

It’s time to see what all the fuzz is about. Meet Erie, Pennsylvania’s new Minor League Baseball Team: The Moon Mammoths! Catch Fuzz E. Mammoth’s first landing on Erie’s baseball diamond Saturday, July 19th! More info at MoonMammoths.com.

We’re back tonight at 11pm! Then we’re off until July 27th! Which, you’re right, is one whole month we won’t be together. And we’re gonna miss you the whole time. “You say that to all your audience members!” Wow, right again. You are so smart. See? This is why we’re gonna miss you so much.

This week’s main story is about fake cats, fake men turning into fake vegetables, fake stories about real politicians, and how they’re all making the internet an increasingly confusing place. For more on who’s profiting off this bizarre new content, and who it’s harming, watch our piece on AI slop.

Here’s last night’s story about the AI-generated content that’s taking over the internet, why it can be harmful, and the heartbreaking tale of a single AI cat father. He made us feel again. youtu.be/TWpg1RmzAbc

It’s transatlantic hunk night on HBO! Starting at 6:45pm you can see Matthew Macfadyen’s baby blues in Pride & Prejudice, followed by everyone’s favorite studmuffin Morgan Spector in The Gilded Age, then at 11pm you can see…John. In our show. Being John. WHAT.

Earlier today we taped tomorrow’s show, and we discussed the potential for the U.S. to bomb Iran. Since taping, the U.S. has carried out several bombings. We’ll have more to say in the future, but for now our piece on Trump and the Iran Deal can help explain what got us here. youtu.be/5xnZ_CeTqyM

Here’s last night’s story about the juvenile justice system in the U.S., how we’re incarcerating children at many times the rate of other nations, and how John feels about five specific guinea pigs. youtu.be/Pya-kt5M7uY

This week’s main story is about the juvenile justice system in the U.S., the facilities we are funneling so many children through, some other steps we can take to try to keep children safe, and of course some of our favorite Kidz Bop lyrics. Hey – HEY – some of those songs are good.

We’re back with a new show tonight at 11pm! And it will be 50 minutes long! Because John asked if he could have 10 more minutes of TV time, and he did all his homework and chores really well this week, so we couldn’t say no. That’s just the type of paren–PRODUCERS we are. We are his PRODUCERS.

This week’s main story is about the med spa boom, how a lack of oversight in the industry is creating space for bad actors, and how consumers can try to protect themselves. It’s also about how you should not buy botox on Alibaba. You’d think that goes without saying but trust us, it doesn’t.